5.13.2019

A letter to my children on Mother's Day.


Dear Micah, Luke, Caleb, Josiah, Isaiah, Ellie ~ 

The longer I am a mother, the more I realize that Mother's Day is not about me.
❤ It is about YOU.❤
Without children, I am a woman, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a niece, a friend ... but not a mother.
You gave me the title "mom," and because you needed me I dove into the role and never looked back.
Motherhood is a gift. Not a right.
You belong to the One who created you in the secret places of the earth.
You are not mine, sweet children. You are HIS.
And for this, I am grateful. He loves you, knows you, sees you, and wants you in ways I cannot fathom, and though I love you with everything I can give, He loves you more. And best.
I do not deserve you, Micah, Luke, Caleb, Josiah, Isaiah, and Ellie; yet the Lord chose to bless me with seven children, six here on earth, and our sweet Matthew in heaven. And He has used each of you to grow, mature, convict, challenge, soften, encourage, support, and teach me in ways that are unique to motherhood. Through the seemingly endless monotony of changing diapers, doing laundry, making meals, giving baths, brushing hair, making beds, and rocking you to sleep in the wee hours of the morning - the Lord was changing me. He was showing me my selfishness. Revealing my pride.
Teaching me that in order to love you well, I had to love myself less.
And I am embarrassed to say, I did not always choose you.
BUT GOD.
He can restore the years the locusts have eaten.
He is a God of forgiveness. A God who heals. A God who restores.
And for those beautiful truths, I am grateful.
It would be far too easy to relive the past, tallying every mistake I have made as a mother, recounting every thoughtless word, every foolish action, every sinful thought. But who wins in that scenario? Only one.
The enemy. And I cannot, I will not give him that power! He may stand before the throne of God every single day accusing me, but every single day Jesus steps in front of me and declares,
"Back off! I know she is not perfect, but she is MINE!"
Praise Him that His love for us is more numerous than the sands on the seashore!
Micah, Luke, Caleb, Josiah, Isaiah, and, Ellie,
My prayer is that the Lord will increase my desire to love you, serve you, encourage you, and support you more with each passing year. Your need for me will lessen and change as you grow into adults, but I want to remain one of your strongest, most steadfast, immovable supports so you always know that I not only love you as you are, but I accept you and REJOICE in you - as you are.
May God grant us many many more years to enjoy each other.
I love you. Every one of you.
Mom ♥