He remembers them no more.

After a really good discussion with a friend about sin, and a challenge to another friend to look up every verse about the sin issues she is currently struggling with in order to prepare her mind for battle, I remembered my rings of cards containing verses about all of my own personal struggles over the years.  I pulled them out this morning, and lo and behold - there is an entire ring on the topic of: SIN.

Irony?

Nope.  The Lord.

I smiled when I looked through them because I remember all too well the time in my life when I looked up every single one of the verses - feeling convicted as I wrote each word - and how many times I rotated through the cards trying desperately to memorize God's thoughts, commands, and feelings about sin.  MY sin.  Eesh.  It was a difficult time, and a humbling time, but - a profitable one. I am not sinless now, of course, but these Scriptures have become a regular part of my thought life, my prayer life, my discipleship with other women, and in training my children.  God promises that His Word never returns void - and it is true!  When we read and memorize Scripture that is specific to what we are struggling with, the verses STICK.  They are applicable - not just a random Scripture that we were asked to learn for a women's Bible study, or to win a prize at camp.  When we are battling sin - trying to kill our flesh and walk in the Spirit - we must know what God's Word has to SAY about that sin.  Not one verse.  All of them.  Knowing what God has to say about lust, greed, gossip, immodesty, lying, discontentment, fear ... it arms us for battle.  We are prepared to fight because we know why we are fighting, who we are fighting, and what we are fighting for. HOLINESS.  "Be ye holy, for I am holy."  A soldier without armor and a weapon is a dead soldier.  A Christian without the knowledge of God's Word, and a desire to obey His Word, is a helpless, and quite honestly, a useless Christian.  The enemy will zero in on us and seek to destroy us every chance he gets.  And when we have nothing to fight with?  He will win.  Every time.

Reading, understanding, meditating on, and memorizing God's Word is not an option for the Christian.

It must be our first priority - Knowing and Loving God.  And the only way we can know Him is to read what He has revealed about Himself in the pages of Scripture.  He will always meet us in those pages ... right where we need to be ... exactly what we need to hear ... to train us, equip us, and encourage us in our faith.  He will teach us how to FIGHT for our holiness - and He will teach us how to love Him ... because He first loved us.

These particular Scriptures (emphases mine) are not about specific sin, but about sin in general.  I pray they will encourage and challenge you in your pursuit of a holy, righteous, amazing - and demanding God. Holiness comes at a price ... the surrender of self, and complete submission to God ... whether you like, agree with, or understand His ways.  

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  James 5:16

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this:  whoever turns a sinner from the error if his way will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins.  James 5:19,20

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  Galatians 6:1

This who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Galatians 5:24

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.  Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  Romans 8:6-8

What shall we say then?  Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?  May it never be!  We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?  Romans 6:1,2

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.  Proverbs 28:13~

To him who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, it is sin.  James 4:17

No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning.  No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.  I John 3:6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And now - the encouragement! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.  Romans 4:7,8

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.  Luke 15:7

Direct my footsteps according to Your Word; let no sin rule over me.  Psalm 119:133

I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.  Psalm 119:11

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more.  Isaiah 43:25

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
    my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.  Psalm 32:4,5

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,
    nor will He keep His anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him;

as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does He remove our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103

Amen?

A M E N!!!!!

Caleb's battle scars.

Caleb had his post-op appointment on Monday - at which time they unwrapped his original dressings to see the results of his week of pointing to the sky and caring for his hand.  Both the ortho tech and the doctor were very pleased when they saw it.  He did a great job for an 8-year-old BOY!
Caleb, on the other hand, was a little less enthused when he saw it.  He knew he was going to have a big stitch and a scar, but he did not know it would be quite so intense. (nor did I)  His eyes welled up with tears worrying how he could keep it safe, and, from the pain of having it tugged and pulled as they cleaned the wound and tested to make sure he still had feeling in his finger.  (he does!)

I kept saying, "Caleb!  That is an AWESOME stitch!  Your brothers are going to think it is so cool.  Any boy would be thrilled to have such a battle scar!"  He looked a tad doubtful.

And then the doctor decided he needed a temporary splint to protect the finger since he has to keep the stitches in for another week.  This brought GREAT relief to our son because a) he no longer had to fear having it bumped or torn apart and b) he would not have to be embarrassed walking around with this awful looking stitch.

And then - the switch was flipped.  He was not allowed to undo the wrap, or shower, for 24 hours.  The first 12 hours had him complaining about the splint, worrying about the stitch, hoping no one would ask him about it.  He was even glad that it was on the bottom of his hand where no one could see it unless he purposely showed them.  The second 12 hours had him asking every hour, "When can I take this off?  Is it almost time?  Will you take a picture of it?  Will you put it on the blog?  Will you send it to our family so they can see it?"  Quite a change, huh?

So - this is for you, Caleb!  Your stitch, your scar, your trauma - all documented for YOU!

Oh - and when Dennis unwrapped it last night, he thought it was the coolest thing ever (as did the brothers), so by the time they were done oohing and aahing and commenting on the awesomeness of it all, Caleb was standing a little taller, a little prouder, and quite ready to show the WORLD his battle scars.  I love it!  (now if he only had a good story to go with it ... like he had to smash a window to help a child escape from a burning building and his finger was sliced in the process - or something like that.  But, "I had surgery to remove a ball of veins" will just have to do!)

I am willing.

To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

O my God, in You I trust;
    let me not be put to shame;

Make me to know Your ways, O Lord;
    teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
    for You are the God of my salvation;
    for You I wait all the day long.

Remember Your mercy, O Lord, and Your steadfast love,
    for they have been from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
    according to Your steadfast love remember me,
    for the sake of Your goodness, O Lord!

Good and upright is the Lord;
    therefore He instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way.

All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,

    for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.

For your name's sake, O Lord,
    pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the Lord?    Him will He instruct in the way that he should choose.

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
    and He makes known to them His covenant.

My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
    for He will pluck my feet out of the net.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
    bring me out of my distresses.

Consider my affliction and my trouble,
    and forgive all my sins.

            ~Psalm 25

Isn't this Psalm lovely?  Filled with grace, confession, repentance, forgiveness ... and a reminder that even in the ugliest parts of us, where our sin hides deep, waiting for a chance to live and thrive again ... we belong to a God who desires our holiness and will instruct us in the way of truth, pardon our guilt, make us humble, pull us out of the net of sin that ensnare us, show us grace ~ and be our FRIEND.  What promises to cling to in our trials and distresses!

I currently have two women in my life whom the Lord is using to refine me - and they don't even know it!  One sat on my couch almost a year ago and shared some of the most embarrassing parts of her life with me, willingly, and I was able to identify with every-single-one-of-them.  We were both stunned.  She, because she could not believe an older, more mature Christian would admit to such failings and sin, and me, because I had almost completely forgotten about those secret places of my past.  After locking the door when we ended our evening together, I stood motionless as I recalled how gracious God has been not only to help me kill that part of my sinful flesh, but to let me forget it and move forward, rather than living in the eternal bondage of guilt.  (which has been my default most of my life)  I spent the next few days in a state of euphoria as I rejoiced over such a blessing.  I, Michelle Eastman, felt FREE from my past ... and had actually forgotten most of it.  What grace!  What mercy!

The other woman shared but a few sentences in a group setting, but she did so with such passion, sincerity and vulnerability that I knew there was something deeper that had to be explored.  She needed to share the details - the ugly - the shameful.  But you cannot do that with just anyone. You need trust, respect, and mutual transparency.  I prayed for her immediately, asking the Lord how I could minister to her and then BAM!  She asked if we could meet because she needed a "safe place" to bare her soul.  Me, Lord?  She is trusting me?  Okay - prepare me.  And boy did He ever!

And then these two women collided together when the Lord wrapped up all of their personal struggles and their sin and dropped them into my lap to untangle and study and sort out - and used every moment to walk me through my past to remind me ...

* There, but for the grace of God go I.  My sin is forgiven, covered, and I am under no condemnation - just the cleansing blood of Christ.  But - my past is REAL, and I cannot forget what I have been saved from ... I cannot forget how wretched I can be ... I cannot forget the shame and pain and struggle that I willingly engaged in.  Because if I do, I will lose all humility, and will not be able to sit quietly and listen to my sister in Christ as she shares her deepest pain, her deepest shame, knowing how much this confession is costing her.  I have to remember where I came from so I can fully embrace the beauty of God's mercy and forgiveness.  I need not dwell there, I am forgiven and set FREE - but I cannot forget.

* I may be 20 years older and 20 years wiser, but I am still a fleshly sinner who can fall back into the same pits I climbed out of - even willingly.  Conquering sin, and being spared from continuous temptation is a blessed thing indeed.  But I am a sinner.  I am not wholly righteous.  And as soon as I think I am untouchable in a specific area - satan will creep in and remind me just how quickly I can fall back into old patterns.  And sadly, even enjoy them!  Oh, Lord, please continue to kill the flesh I worked so hard to die to in my youth.  I never want to go back.  It took so much work and energy and effort to break those habits ... and I like being free!  I never want to wear the chains of bondage again! Remember not the sins of my youth, Lord!

* If given the chance, I would most definitely go back and change things about my past - make better choices - choose Christ rather than self.  There is no question about that.  But because I cannot go back ... I need to have a proper perspective about the empty chains collecting dust in my closet.  They are real.  They exist.  And right now, there is another woman who feels the same weight of her own chains ... she hears the rattling and cringes with the shame and fear of being found out ... she hates her confinement and wants to break free ... but every time she tries, she falls down again, cut and bruised, and feels like she will never, ever find that freedom.

And that is when I need to remember where I was - who I was - and the choices I made that broke the heart of God ... and RUN.TO.HER crying out all the way,

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
    and He makes known to them His covenant.

My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
    for He will pluck my feet out of the net.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
    bring me out of my distresses.

Consider my affliction and my trouble,
    and forgive all my sins.

And if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to FORGIVE us our sins, and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness!

Lord, thank You for using these two women to remind me of your huge, gracious, merciful, and forgiving heart. No sin is too great to be forgiven, and no sin is too small to be confessed. You let Your Son die on a cross so that I might LIVE. The chains are gone! I am forgiven! I am set free! Make me ever aware of my freedom in YOU – and keep me aware of the bondage I chose in the past so that I might
be a tangible source of encouragement and grace for a woman sitting across from me who needs to hear, “I know. I KNOW. And I know the One who can forgive you – heal you – and make you whole. Let’s go to Him – together.” My past cannot be for nothing, Lord. No matter how embarrassing, I am willing to let it be used for Your glory and to help heal another. Use me, Lord. I am willing.

Blessed, humbled, and grateful.

Well, after three weeks of living in our new home, we have been able to finish some details, so I pulled out the camera to capture the rest of the rooms to help us remember them in our old age.  (Which is no longer very far off.  HA!)

It feels good to scratch off some of the "to do" items!  Other than a rug here and some pillows there, I think we are done!  Yippee!

This sword hangs over our front door as a tangible reminder that we are raising our sons to become Soldiers for Christ.  Protect the innocent - Defend the weak - Fight the enemy - Stand Firm in the faith.  This is what we strive to accomplish each day ... as a family.  It is hard work, and the only reason we are able to even attempt such a task is because the Lord has given us His armor and His strength to pick up the sword with the intent to fight in the first place.  Is anything too difficult when the Lord is on our side?  NO!  We can do all things through Christ.  Amen?  AMEN!

These iron pieces are two of my favorite things in the house.  Dennis' birth mother, Sue, owns a wrought iron business, and when we met her and the family almost eight years ago, she invited us to go shopping in her showroom.  The mirror was the first thing I picked!  I love mirrors.  And lamps.  I never understood why until we started working on this house ... I am drawn to LIGHT and reflection ... just can't get enough!

We have had this table for 12 years and we love it.  We had no idea what we would do with such a large table when we bought it, but now we do!  It holds all eight of us - with elbow room to spare.

I honestly do not know how other women manage to have lovely cloth seat covers that remain unstained and attractive.  We have recovered our chairs three times over the years.  Three!  So this time I said, "That's IT!  I want something that can be wiped with a sponge.  I don't care if it is plastic patio furniture material!"  And out of that comment came these fun leather-looking covers in red/teal/gray - just like the house.  We have already wiped them (with a sponge) and there is not a stain in sight.  Success!

The chandelier.

I did not want another drippy, crystal light in the dining room since we already have one in the bedroom, so I searched Craig's List for an iron piece and found this!  It is fun, different, and - red!  We did not like the plain old iron look for this piece, so my friend came up with the idea to paint it red, and I said yes before she finished asking me.  It is huge, heavy, and off-center.  It needs to be moved about two feet to the right, but for now it stays because staying = free!  Definitely one of my top 10 favorite pieces in the house.

My favorite bathroom in the house!  The PINK bathroom!  All original except for the updated floor.  This room belongs to the littles and they are thrilled to have something that is just for them.  We plan to add more black accents in the future, but for now, we enjoy it as it is!

 The older boys have their own little GREEN bathroom - complete with original counter and shower tiles.  They are not the neatest three individuals on the planet, so we are thrilled that they get it all to themselves.  If they want to use a bathroom that is always sloppy with wet towels - have at it boys!

The entrance to our bedroom.  (I took these photos at opposite times of the day - hence the difference in lighting.)  The room is large enough for us to have our lovely, old desk in it which holds all of my stationary and will eventually have a Parson's chair with a skirt made out of the same fabric from our headboard.  The photos represent our family tree.

The only thing new is the chandelier!  It never ceases to amaze me how differently (and better) things look in a new setting, a new arrangement, and better light!

It took some work, planning, and energy - but it was a lot of fun, and we are so thankful, content, and thrilled with our new home the Lord so graciously made possible.  Every good and perfect gift comes from Him ... including houses and decor that have no eternal value!  We are blessed.  And humbled.  And - forever grateful.

I want to be that woman!

As we (the young adult ladies and myself) continue to read Becoming God's True Woman it is already time to address the issue of true beauty, and modesty.  Authors generally save this discussion for later chapters in the book since it is such a sensitive topic, and often cuts deeply to the heart of women.  I am pleased with the way the author handles this issue because rather than being harsh with the "if you do not dress modestly you cannot be a godly woman" approach, she focuses on what God DOES want for his daughters, and how we can please Him in our appearance/dress, and attitudes about both, whether single or married.

I am simply going to share her words and biblical support for true beauty and modesty.  None of these are my thoughts or opinions ... just God's Word, and the perspective of a mature, godly woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Do our thoughts and actions regarding our appearance reflect a cultural standard or a biblical standard?

~ Nowhere in the Bible are women instructed to wish for, ask for, or strive for physical beauty.  Neither does the Bible portray physical beauty as a blessing for those who have it.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.
 Proverbs 31:30

~ Our culture puts forth a standard of beauty that is unattainable by most.  God puts forth a standard of beauty to which we can all attain if we just respond to His work of grace in our lives. 

"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." I Peter 3:4

~ The beauty our culture esteems may turn heads, but the beauty God calls us to cultivate will make a lasting impact.

~ The way we think about and attend to our personal appearance is really a mirror of our hearts.

~ Is the way you dress for self-glory or God's glory?

Ask yourself these questions: (I am only using half of them)

1) Do I spend more time daily caring for my personal appearance than I do in Bible study, prayer, and worship?

2) Do I want to lose weight to "feel better about myself," or do I desire to be self-disciplined for the glory of God?

3)  Do I exercise to try to create or maintain a "good figure," or do I exercise to strengthen my body for God's service?

4)  Am I jealous of the appearance of others, or am I truly glad when I observe other women who are more physically attractive than I?

5)  Do I ever dress immodestly or with the intent of drawing attention to myself, or do I always dress in a manner that pleases God?

~ We have to resolve whom we are trying to please in our pursuit of beauty.

~ A godly woman will seek to present an outward appearance that honors God and attracts others to her character.

~ It is not wrong to seek to enhance our own appearance, but we need to evaluate our motives and our commitment to modesty.

~ We should be self-controlled in what we eat not merely to maintain a certain weight, but because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.

~ Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. I Timothy 2:9,10

The word modest, in Greek, means "shamefacedness." The text refers to shame in the sense that we should be ashamed if we ever contribute to a man's lustful thinking by our dress.  We should be ashamed if we ever cause a man to stumble by our clothing.

~ As we dress, we need to check the motives of our hearts.  Am I seeking to glorify God or impress others?

~ True beauty grows more lovely with the passing of time.  We should be most beautiful when we are sixty, seventy, and older.  Scripture promises us that the more we adorn our inner self, the lovelier we will become.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Challenging, isn't it?  I have known a few incredibly beautiful women in my lifetime - on the INSIDE. And without fail, each of them had the one thing that mattered most ... she loved the Lord with all of her heart.  And they did put on a spirit of quiet and gentleness - and people were drawn to them because of it.

I want to be the old woman that people are drawn to.  Not because I am exquisitely dressed, or know how to accessorize an outfit ... but because they see Christ in me.  In every word and in every action.  Christ.  Not me.  And there is only way to make that happen ~

I must seek Him with all my heart.

Every day.

And then, Lord willing, I will become the woman God wants me to be ... and others will be drawn to me, because they see HIM.

"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." I Peter 3:4

Oh, Lord, I beg You ... make me that woman!

More valuable than anything on earth.

The law of the Lord is perfect,

reviving the soul;

the testimony of the Lord is sure,

making wise the simple;

the precepts of the Lord are right,

rejoicing the heart;

the commandment of the Lord is pure,

enlightening the eyes;

the fear of the Lord is clean,

enduring forever;

the rules of the Lord are true,

and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;

sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.

Moreover, by them is Your servant warned;

in keeping them there is great reward.

                         ~ Psalm 19

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love this Psalm.

I memorized it as an 8-year-old little girl ~ as a song ~ and have never forgotten it.

Read each line.

Think on the truth (and beauty) of each one.

God's Word is

perfect

sure

right

pure

clean

true

righteous

desirable

And the benefits of loving His Word

a revived soul

wisdom

a rejoicing heart

enlightened eyes

the reward of obedience

I needed the Lord to encourage me today.  I needed His wisdom to prepare for a study.  And I needed Him to equip me for a conversation with a friend.  All different needs ... different topics ... different struggles.

And this is where He took me.

Psalm 19.

One passage.

Completely sufficient for all.

He encouraged me by reminding me how beautiful His Word is, how much I love it, and  how earnestly I desire to live it.

He used this passage to remind me that His Word is PERFECT - and sufficiently able to understand every struggle, and meet every need we have as we walk through life in the world - while desperately trying to keep ourselves unstained by it.

He used this passage to show me that I do not have to have personal knowledge of a particular sin to be an encouragement to a sister in Christ.  I need only remember, and show her, that when we read God's Word ... when we meditate on His Word ... and when we believe His promises ... we see ourselves the way He sees us ~

Forgiven

and set FREE.

The law of the Lord IS perfect

and much, much more valuable than anything else on earth.

Thank You, Lord, for such an amazing and wonderful gift.

Caleb - on the other side of surgery.

Imagine a deep, satisfying sigh, and you will have an idea of how I am feeling right now.

Knowing of Caleb's hand surgery has been the driving force for me to get our family healthy after this horrible flu that attacked all of our members.  As each day passed, I kept my eye on the rapidly changing dates on the calendar, knowing there was no way I was going to languish in bed while my son went into surgery - no matter how minor it may be.

Yesterday found me and Dennis at our own doctor's office, and I was gripping a prescription to knock out my sinus infection when I left.  The Lord was gracious, allowing all of us a very sound night of sleep, and I woke up feeling strong and ready to face the day.

Praise.the.Lord!!!  Because He cares about the desires of our hearts!

We actually had a great time today!  After dropping off the other five with my parents, Dennis and Caleb and I had lunch together (Caleb had to watch since he was fasting), we checked into the outpatient center, met our fantastic nurses, and then hung out in the room waiting for the final call to wheel him into surgery.

About 20 minutes into the wait (surgery was delayed a bit), Caleb asked, "Can I have one of those gloves?"  Me, being the 'rules' girl, replied, "No!  I am not allowed to administer medical supplies! Those are only for doctors and nurses."  Dennis, the one who prefers to apologize rather than ask for permission, looked at me like I was crazy and then declared, "What?!  Of COURSE you can have one! What else do you want?"   And the next half hour was spent watching Caleb enjoy the many functions of a latex glove.  (Did you know they fit on a human HEAD?)

The Doc came in, gave details about the surgery, answered our questions, and then put his initials and a smiley face on the correct finger.  For some reason Caleb got a big kick out of this and just kept looking at his finger and laughing.  It put him in a fine, jolly mood right before being wheeled away into the OR.  Thanks, Doc!

Before the surgery we asked Caleb what kind of "waking up patient" he would be?  The scared, crying patient?  The angry, violent patient?  Or the loopy, giggling patient?  He could not even take a guess. (not a lot of frame of reference for him at this point in life)
Well, we walked into the recovery room to hear Nurse Jenny crying, "Caleb!!!!  Stop swinging your arm around!  You have to keep still!  Caleb!  Stop moving!"
Dennis was busy chatting with one of the nurses he had worked with in the ER for seven years, and I was laughing because Caleb was OUT, and had absolutely no idea what he was doing, nor any control to change it.  It just struck me as funny.  I told Dennis to "hold him down for the nurse" so he did - and then kept talking to his friend, Pete, while I, of course, took pictures.  (people make fun of me for this, but I will tell you something ... my boys LOVE seeing these photos when it is all over!)
At the allotted time, Nurse Jenny gently rubbed Caleb's arm with a cool cloth, and his eyes opened with a zing!  A little bit of juice, a little more slumber, and then we were getting him dressed and taking him home.

Once we were home, Caleb was comfortable and settled, the littles were fed and in bed, and the big boys were watching Lord of the Rings with Dennis ... I walked into our bedroom to put on my pajamas and finally unwind for the day, and I just kind of - stopped.  I literally felt like I had run into a wall.  And I felt an overwhelming desire to cry.  But not a tear would fall.  And it hit me ... with all of the stress and sickness and moving and Dennis being gone ... I have not had a chance to just be still - be quiet - and let my emotions run as they will since the beginning of January.  This is not good!  Dennis offered to send me away for a day after he returned from his trip, but at the time I denied the need for it.  But now, I think it may be time to find a quiet, solitary place, open my Bible and my journal, and just be still before the Lord and let Him make my emotions roll and flow as He wills.

Lord, today was a good day!  Not just because Caleb's surgery went so smoothly, but because YOU were faithful once again.  You moved the hearts of others to pray for our son, and to encourage us. You give wisdom to man to understand the intricate details of the bodies You designed.  You heal. You restore.  You sustain.  You rejoice with us.  Thank You, Lord.  Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your mercies are new every day ~ and we will never stop praising You for them!