I want him to see the fruit of his training!

Yesterday was a first for the parents of Micah Eastman ...

We released our firstborn to the care of others to go and enjoy a week of Youth Camp!

He was only going to attend the two days when Dennis is there as a counselor, but a spot opened up and our dear friend and youth pastor asked if Micah could take the spot and enjoy the entire camp experience.  We are extremely selective in who we hand our children to ~ especially when we are not there to manage, correct, protect them ... so this was not an immediate decision.

Dennis and I discussed it and there were two deciding factors:  1) One of our closest friends is going to be the counselor for the first two days and he treats Micah like his own son and we trust him implicitly.  2) Dennis feels this is a chance for Micah to show us the fruits of his training ... will he act/behave/speak/respond the way we have taught him to for the last 12 years?  Dennis challenged him as only a father could challenge his eldest son ~ and Micah accepted.  After they enjoyed a long walk together discussing what it means to bear the privilege of responsibility, Micah entered the house BEAMING and started packing immediately.

So - Sunday morning after church, we packed 58 junior high and high school students onto a "plane on wheels." (Oh my word - you should see the way they are traveling!  When I went to camp we got to travel on the church bus which had:  no air conditioning (and everyone fought over how low the windows should be), no bathrooms (and no stopping even if you had to go), vinyl seats that made you sweat like a pig and required a crow bar to lift yourself off after your skin became PART of the seat, and the bus always broke down at LEAST once.  Each way.)  Anyway - I digress.

They were so excited and raging with energy and excitement over what "could be" these next 5 days.  It was very amusing to watch.

The speaker line-up they have is incredible, the activities are hilarious, and the theme of the week is "Holiness."  I am so looking forward to great discussions with Micah when he returns!

Micah is a good boy.  He is quickly making his way into a teenager, and before we blink he will be a MAN!  Though this mother's heart had to surrender her son to the Lord as I watched him step onto a bus without looking back, I know that the Lord is already beginning the process of "Leaving and Cleaving" ~ for both of us.

After all ~ this is why we are training him in Biblical truth and righteousness.  Our home is the training ground for LIFE.  If Micah is never able to test what he has studied and been taught in his youth, he will never know if he has actually LEARNED it.  Saying you are a Christian is one thing ... acting like a Christian is quite another matter.

I keep praying for my son and trusting that the Lord is going to use this week to show Micah who he is ... that his hard work and Scripture memory and diligence has all been with purpose ... and that he, and others, will see the fruits of 12 years of training in the Lord.

We are not perfect parents.  Our home is not a perfect one.  Our children sin.  We sin.  But the beauty is ~ the Lord's grace and mercy cover it all, and He fills in the gaps to complete the good work He began in Micah Steven when He formed him in the secret places of the earth.

How blessed we are to serve and love a God who knows us intimately and cares for us more than we can ever hope to imagine!

The real Ellie.

I have to be fair and show Ellie at her BEST on her birthday.

The other photo shoot was reality though.  There is no such thing as perfection ~ in any house!

So here she is, the brand new 2-year-old, Miss Ellie Ruth!

We love you, Ellie girl!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Ellie!

We have a tradition ... every birthday finds the birthday boy/girl taking a photo with each sibling, all the siblings together, and one with mom & dad.

Then, we move out to our most colorful place in the backyard and do a 'Birthday Child Photo Shoot' to capture that fleeting and sweet moment of time that is a birthday.

It is a fun tradition.

The photos are always wonderful.

The kids love seeing what they looked like each year.

And everyone gets in on the act of the photo shoot by making the child smile for me.

Today was no exception, except that smiles, fun, and sweetness were NOT included in the tradition.

Could it be?  Have we settled down?
Realized we are being ridiculous and need to pull it together perhaps?

We might get a decent (and happy) shot yet!

 

 

Forget it!

 Oh well, this is who you were the morning of your birthday ~ one day you will laugh at yourself about this.  (or we will do it for you!)

Even with fits of temper and occasional refusal to submit to authority, We Love You, Ellie!

You make us laugh, you melt the hearts of your big brothers, and you entertain the little boys.  Your father had no idea he had such a capacity to love a creature the way he loves you.  And me?  Well, you already know that God chose us for one another because he knew we needed each other!  

I simply cannot imagine life without you, Ellie Ruth.

We pray the Lord will draw you to Himself very early so that you may spend a lifetime praising Him and seeking His face.  For as much as you are loved and adored by the people in our home ... none of us could even imagine the kind of love your Heavenly Father has for you.

You were made to glorify God, Ellie.

You were made to glorify God.

Happy Birthday!

I want to be on the boat!

I have never written about political or social views.  I share my life, the life of my family, and God's dealings in my heart and mind.  That is all I can claim to know first-hand and with absolute sincerity and truth.

But today, I have to ask:

Where are the courageous Christians?

When the world, specifically a company/business, does something that completely goes against Scripture, what do Christians do?

~ A few stand up immediately and fight.
~ Others share the details and call for a boycott or letter-writing campaign.  (while being mocked by other Christians who claim "what is the point?" or "if you boycott every place that is not Biblical you would never leave your house" or "we cannot avoid the world, get over it!")
~ Some are angered and outraged but will take it no further than passionately sharing their frustrations with their own friends and family.  They will not take action.
~ Some are frustrated or upset but turn the page or change the channel - and it is over.
~ Others exhibit complete apathy.

And yet, when a Christian company/business is honest about their personal convictions and moral grounding based on the Word of God ... what does the world do?

~ The entire country revolts.
~ Everyone flies into action and slanders said business through every media tool available. 
~ They stage sit-ins.
~ Hollywood gets involved and declares war on said company.
~ Those offended throw their money to the group being discussed to show their support and thumb their nose at the Christians.

When Christians choose to boycott a business, there is a very small group of people willing to join them.  Heaven forbid Christians give up their favorite restaurant, car dealership, clothing shop, book dealer, or source of entertainment.  We love God ~ but not that much.  And even those who do step up and fight get tired and frustrated when there is no change ... and give up.  Those who boycotted 'xyz' company in 2007 are now using that very product.  What is wrong with us?

And yes, it is true.  If we really knew what each business we frequent did with our money, we would all grow our own food, make our own clothing, run our own businesses, and play piano for our friends for entertainment.  We live in a world that rejects God, hates God, and loves - itself.  Even Christian companies can disappoint us when we take a closer look.  We cannot avoid the world, but when we know the truth - we are accountable.  And God will call us to account for how we spent our time and money when we stand before Him.

Again, the converse.  When the world chooses to boycott a company - they have the money, the media, the manpower, and the masses to make it successful.  And they are relentless.  They do not get tired and quit.  They keep throwing money and media around and raise the ire of millions of people, swaying them to their side.  And why?  Because the enemy is leading them.  He fans the flames in their already restless minds and bodies, and works them into a frenzy over the smallest of things.  And while he is doing this ~ he is laughing and skipping down the lane knowing that Christians will do nothing about it.  A few will, but he is not afraid of a few.  He knows most will turn a blind eye and not make the call to Congress because "it might take too much time."  He knows they will not stop shopping at 'Business A' because they really like their clothes and prices and can pretend that they do not support licentious behavior.  They will not vote.  They will not sign petitions.  He knows he can keep Christians seeking their flesh and living in it ~ and forgetting what God has so clearly outlined in His Word.

And
he
wins.

So again I ask - WHERE ARE THE COURAGEOUS CHRISTIANS?

When will we say "ENOUGH!"
When will we fight harder for our right to worship freely in America?
When will we fight for the rights of the unborn and disabled children?
When we will defend the weak and protect the innocent?
When we will fight for purity for our sons and our husbands?
When will we be willing to give up EVERYTHING for the One who gave up HIMSELF?

Where are we, courageous Christians?

And I am going to confess right here, right now, as I am battling between righteous anger and tears of shame ...

I have been a fearful and weak Christian.

I have deleted the e-mails asking me to call my Senator and ask him not to support an issue.
I have not done diligent research to know who is running for offices.
I have knowingly shopped in a store that supports abhorrent lifestyles because the prices fit in my budget.
I have joined a boycott only to move back when the hype died down and my conviction cooled.

And right now, as I am struggling with this topic and embarrassed that we as a church have allowed so much to happen in this country because of our fears and love of self and money and desires, there is only one verse that keeps sprinting through my mind with such intensity that I can barely keep from falling on my face before the Lord and asking His forgiveness for my apathy and selfishness that has kept me from standing with my feet planted firmly to fight the tide of godlessness and immorality that is continually attacking and threatening my freedom as a Christian.  I am not actively swinging my sword at the immoral and impure who refuse to let the people of God worship and live the way He has called us to live.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.  For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”

I am talking about regular, everyday Christians who go about their business, working, raising families, serving the community and worshiping with the body of believers.  We can hold our own values, our own beliefs, even if they are in direct opposition to the worlds, and still be at peace with all men.  A Christian does not have to be at war with a non believer.  The battle does not take place in the world - it takes place in the spiritual realm.  God sent His only Son to pay the penalty for the sins of all mankind.  Christ died for all.  God desires that all men should come to repentance ~ because He loves His creation.  And to that creation He gave free will so we can choose to follow Him in obedience ~ or reject Him.

Our world continues to look more and more like the days of Noah ~ a time when "everyone did what was right in his own eyes."  And until the day Christ returns, it will always be this way.  But Christian, remember ...

only one family was found faithful and righteous enough to be spared on the ark.

One family.

The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.  The Lord regretted that He had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.  So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.”  

But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

This is the account of Noah and his family.

Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, 

 and he walked faithfully with God. 

 

Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence. God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.  So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them.  I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.  I am going to bring flood waters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it.  Everything on earth will perish.  

But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark —you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you.  You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you.  Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive.  You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them.”

Noah did everything just as God commanded him.

Genesis 6

Not only do I want to be counted among the faithful and righteous as Noah was ...

I want to be on the boat!!!

I am going to throw a party!

Earlier this week I had an ultrasound for my thyroid.  I always enjoy the imaging center my insurance company sends me to because it has the feel of a spa.  Brand new, decorated with a contemporary modern look, the colors I love ... I almost forget why I am there!  The ultrasound technician calls my name, we walk back to the room and she begins the standard procedure.  We talk a little bit, I ask her which body part is the most difficult to find/photograph, how long before my doctor will receive the results, if anyone ever falls asleep in this peaceful room while she is working, and then, it is quiet.

In the next twelve minutes, while I am completely relaxed and there is not one thing to distract me, I chase a thousand thoughts through my head.  Some are good, some irrelevant, lists of things I need to get done ... and then I am hit by an overwhelming awareness.  This technician could actually find something wrong with me!  Right now she could be photographing and measuring something that is not good, maybe something very bad.  And my thoughts immediately take a sharp turn down a seldom visited route and begin to go wild.

You see, there has been quite a bit of death in our world lately.  A peer who was in my youth group,  an old friend, elderly people at church, good friends of our own good friends, a precious baby in the womb ... and then the random acts of violence in the world at large that result in death.  All of which bring up memories of past losses, testimonies, legacies ~ and I wondered, what would I do if my doctor called me to announce that I was dying?  How would I respond?

~ How do I want to be remembered?
~ Who would I want to talk to before I died to make sure they understood the truth of salvation?
~ What relationships would I need to mend?
~ Who of those who have rejected me would find themselves at the foot of my deathbed, willing to be restored and give me a chance to share my heart with them?
~ Would I die with dignity and grace so that others would wonder how in the world I could respond in such a manner?
~ Would others see Christ in my dying?
~ Would everyone who knows me be able to say, "I saw Jesus in her."
~ Would Christ be GLORIFIED in my death?

Scripture says:

A good name is better than precious ointment,     

and the day of death than the day of birth.

It is better to go to the house of mourning

    than to go to the house of feasting,

for this is the end of all mankind,

    and the living will lay it to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter,

     for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,

    but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.  

Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

I used to read this passage and think it very strange.  But after studying it, and having much more life experience, I find it to be absolutely true.  There IS a time to mourn and a time to weep.  When we are sitting at a funeral service for a peer, an acquaintance, or someone we dearly loved, we are forced to look inside  ... see how we are living ... where our priorities are ...what our focus is ... our purpose.  Have we lived a life that honors Christ or have we spent too much time on Self?  Have we served those around us or pretended we did not see them?  Do we dabble in the world enough that it cannot tell us apart from itself?  If it was my body laying in the casket - who would be here?  What would they be sharing about me?  What would their memories be?

We cannot help but think, wonder, imagine, and ~ take inventory of our life.  And of all of the questions that run through our mind, there is only one that matters:  Have I lived a life that looks like CHRIST?  Would everyone who knows me testify without a doubt that I am a child of God, and proud to be so?  Did they see HIM in me?

It is better to go to a house of mourning ... for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will take it to heart.  The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.

The Lord uses death to draw our eyes to Him.  How many times have you witnessed someone (or yourself) who is not walking with the Lord, attend a funeral and then make bold claims of turning their lives around to start "living for God."  Sometimes they do, but often not.  We are so drawn to something bigger than us when death occurs.  We NEED answers.  We crave comfort.  We cannot stand on our own without looking for someone or something to make the pain subside.  We are consumed with it for days, weeks, even months.  And then slowly ... we start living our lives again, forgetting the promises we made, forgetting the thoughts we had while sitting on the pew with tissues in hand ... and we find ourselves once again in "the house of mirth" speaking, acting and behaving as if life never ends and we have all the time in the world to do what is right ~ to do what God has asked of us.

Death is the end of ALL mankind.
And the LIVING will take it to heart.

The death of a Christian is a beautiful thing because he/she is in heaven enjoying the full glory of the Lord.  There is no sorrow, no looking back, no missing things or people on earth.  They become a part of the great cloud of witnesses and sing and worship and praise the Creator all day long.  ALL DAY LONG!  Can you even imagine??

It is not for the Christian who has died that we weep ~ it is for ourselves.

Everyone dies.
Every life has it's final day written by the hand of the Lord in the Book of Life.
We cannot change it.
We cannot predict it.

But we can "lay it to heart."

When we realize that death is the end of every man, and that there are only two options after death ~ heaven or hell ~ it is then that we will scramble to the feet of the Father, beg His forgiveness for our selfish living, and ask Him to cleanse us, restore us, and show us how to give up self so we can attain His righteousness and holiness.  Deathbed confessions, while acceptable to the Father (see the thief on the cross), do not allow any of the benefits of the Christian life for the new believer.  An entire life of praise, and discovery, and understanding about this God who created all things ... seeing Him work ... watching Him transform lives ... sharing in His work.  THESE are the things we need to live for and take to heart!

Because while there is a time to mourn and a time to weep ~
there is also a time to laugh and a time for JOY!

I had many, many thoughts filter through my mind while I was on the table wondering how I would respond to the news of an illness that would cause death.  Images shot through my mind of people I love, people I would want to see again, preparing my children for my death, saying goodbye to Dennis, telling my friends ... but you know what?  The thing that settled me, the thing that helped me reject the fear satan was trying to swirl into my thoughts, was the memory of the testimony of one man who did know he was dying ~ and how he responded.  I thought of that story, and I smiled.  Right there on the table.

His name was Roger.

He had a glass eye and was in remission from cancer.  He was one of those guys that everyone wanted to know and be known by.  He was the life of the party, always encouraging, a servant, always the prankster (he would pop out his glass eye and let it roll around the floor of the car while screaming, "My eye!  My eye!" which horrified his passenger and made him laugh uncontrollably), and he praised God ALL THE TIME, regardless of what was happening in his life.

Roger went in for a routine appointment and his doctor told him that his cancer was back in another place and estimated that he had only a few weeks to live.

The next day, everyone he knew was receiving phone calls with Roger on the other end of the line inviting them to a party in his backyard ~ but he would not tell them why.  Almost all of them showed up, curious, and enjoyed a wonderful night of fun and laughter.

Finally, Roger stood up before his guests and announced with dramatic flair, "Thank you for coming to my ~ Homecoming Party!  You all know that I have battled cancer, and now I have been told that within the next few weeks, I will die.  And that is why you are here!  I invited you to come and CELEBRATE with me as I prepare to go HOME!  I am going home, friends!  This is not a time to mourn ~ it is a time to rejoice!"  I never heard what happened after that, but I can imagine the perfect combination of tears, laughter, hugs, prayer, and reading of Scripture.

I know there a thousand things I would want to do, say, and write before I died if I had the privilege of knowing it was coming.  But the one thing I know I WILL do?

I am going to throw a Homecoming Party and rejoice with those I love with the blessed knowledge that "soon and very soon I am going to see The KING!"

Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of His saints.

Psalm 116:15 

I had to know. And now I do!

I was afraid to ask.

But I had to know.

Because the appearance of understanding can conflict with an inner frustration, or perhaps even anger.

So while we were sitting outside, as my husband sipped one of his favorite "summer in a glass" beverages, I asked him,

"Are you feeling as gracious about my lost wedding ring as you appear?  Or do you secretly want to throttle me?"  (I keep imagining the I Love Lucy episode when Lucy keeps leaving her ring around the house, Ricky takes it and hides it to teach her a lesson, she dismantles the freshly made brick BBQ thinking she dropped her ring into the wet cement, Ricky goes crazy, and then she finds the ring in her hamburger.  Hilarious episode - but Ricky ... estaba muy enojado!) 

Thankfully I do not have a raging husband, ever, but I was concerned he might be feeling a little more empathetic towards Ricky due to the present circumstances.

Before he could begin to answer I added, in a stream-of-consciousness manner, "I know that it is my fault my ring is gone even if it fell off of my finger in the water because I should have left it at home and I do not expect you to replace it because there are other needs more important than a ring and we do not have that kind of cash sitting around for non-necessities and I am sorry and embarrassed and am so glad this is not a source of contention in our marriage because I have never lost anything and ... I am sorry."

He asked, "Are you finished?"

"I think so.  Yes.  I am finished."

"Michelle, no one feels worse about this than you do.  And the truth is, while I am sad the ring is gone because it is important to you, I have not lost anything because my bride is still here.  Having you is more important than having a ring.  I will not bring it up again.  I will not joke about it.  It is over.  Do not let it concern you any more."

I was afraid to ask.
But I had to know.

And now I do!

I am blessed to be married to a man of patience and understanding ~ and grace.

I believed him when he said it, and I believe him still.

Thank you, D.  Your response to this drama has been encouraging and well, comforting.  I appreciate your honesty and your sincere attitude of GRACE.  My heart and mind are now at rest ~ because you allowed them to be.  I love you.  And ring or no ring, no one will ever doubt who I belong to ... because I am wholly YOURS.  M

I pray He finds me beautiful.

A few months ago someone asked me, "How does Dennis feel having a wife who is not fit like he is?"

It took me a couple of seconds to decide how I should respond to this question, but because I knew it was asked from a sincere heart and without any malicious intent, I answered simply and honestly.  "Well, when he was young and immature looks were very important to him and he was not always kind with his attitudes and words.  But over the years the Lord has matured him and he now sees that who a woman IS ~ her character, her convictions, her heart for the Lord, the way she loves her husband and her children ~ these are the things that are valuable and should be coveted."

The person who asked me responded - "Wow.  You have a good man!" - and then shared how pressured she would feel if married to someone with such a high standard of fitness etc etc.

I laughed to myself about the entire conversation and have thought about it off and on over these past months.  Then today I wondered, "Did I accurately describe his thoughts and feelings?  Does Dennis wish I looked better than I do?  I know he says he loves me as I am, but does he really mean it?"  And yes, I know this can be satan doing his whispering act to make me feel discontent and insecure, but it is also an honest question and I really do want to know what Dennis thinks about me ~ in every area of life.

So, I asked him!

We were sitting outside in the cool of the evening watching our children run around the yard enjoying each other, and Samson, when I told him about the conversation and asked his thoughts on the matter.  He looked at me with a grin on his face and agreed that yes, I did portray his opinion accurately and then he added, "Michelle, I do love you exactly as you are.  I know you struggle with your body and looks, and that makes me sad, but I am still as attracted to you now as when I met you.  You are beautiful to me.  All of you.  You do not have to worry about what I think, because I think you are amazing."

I looked at him for a minute to make sure his face matched his words - and it did. (come on, I am a woman people!  I need proof!)  I sat back in my chair and felt a sense of calm, and ~ understanding.  I have witnessed countless old, wrinkled, bald men adoring their old, wrinkled, gray brides as they proclaim that their love and passion for her is even more intense than when he married her.  I would look at the old woman and think, "Really?  He finds her more attractive now than when she was firm and perky and youthful?  Hmmm."  But now - I get it.  It is not just about physical beauty.  The beauty the old man sees is not just what meets his eye ... but what he knows, sees, lives, and enjoys about the heart, mind, and soul of his bride.  And those things, if grounded in the Lord and His Word, can only become more lovely with time.  And age.

My prayer is that when I am a withered, gray, toothless shell of my physical self, the inner beauty that has been refined and molded and shaped by the hand of a very loving God will be all that Dennis sees.  What my children and grandchildren see.  And most of all ~ that the Lord will look upon me and know that the work He began in me at the tender age of 5 when I gave my heart to Him, is the only work I seek to have completed ... and that He ~ my Father, my Savior, my King ~
will find me beautiful.

"... let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."  I Peter 3:4

Let's go again!

"Believers are constantly exposed to a world system energized by satan and his demons.  Their effort is to discredit the church and to destroy its credibility and integrity.  One way these spirits work is by finding Christians whose lives are not consistent with the Word of God, and then parading them before unbelievers to show what a sham the church is.  Christians, however, must stand against the enemy and silence the critics by the power of holy lives."                                         ~ John MacArthur, Study Bible, I Peter Introduction
                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found this quote in the study notes while beginning to read I/II Peter.  It was so fitting with the Strategy of Satan and kind of summed it up in a nutshell.  I love when God has things you have been studying cross over in another area because it confirms the original study and adds more depth to what you already learned.  I just LOVE that we serve and seek a God of purpose and order!

Two pieces of this quote stood out for me:
" ... finding Christians whose lives are not consistent with the Word of God ..."
and
"Christians must ... silence the critics by the power of holy lives."

I know I fail often, but man, I do not want to be used as the poster girl for satan because my life is not consistent with God's Word.  I know I will never achieve complete holiness this side of heaven, but I want to constantly frustrate him because, though I still stumble and fall, my true desire IS to live a life that is consistent with God's Word.  The older I get, the more I understand how Scripture infiltrates ever single detail of life, and it is only a constant dying to self that will achieve that consistent life.  And it is not easy.  Not at all.  But still - it is my greatest aim.

The funny thing is, as soon as I feel like I finally reach the end of a growth cycle (or wrestling match with the Lord) in one area, another one shows up almost immediately and I have to drink some water, grab an energy bar and begin again.  Like that dumb game at carnivals when you have to "pop the weasel" and as soon as you smash one head another one pops up with that stupid grin on its face and you have to smack that one.  Over and over again.  But - that is exactly what the Christian life is, isn't it?  A constantly moving, changing, growing, thriving, exciting ~ LIFE.  If we are seeking to be more like Him.  If we want to be like the world, or live with the "I am who I am" mentality, we will not find the constant change and struggle and trial of life purposeful or exciting.  We will find it frustrating and joyless.  And that is not what Christ came to give us.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10  ABUNDANT LIFE!  Now, who doesn't want that?

Living a life that is consistent with God's Word ~ in all areas ~ and silencing the criticism of the world because I live a holy life that speaks for itself ...

Um ...

Lord?  That is a tall order.  And just thinking about how much work I need to do makes me timid to even start.  Your Word is filled with commands and "if-then" statements and all of them come together to fit under the greatest commandment of all:  "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

You SHALL.
With ALL.

Lord, will I ever learn to love You with ALL of me?  Without the hesitation of Moses?  Without the whining of Jonah ... the fear of the Israelites ... the doubting of Thomas ... the recklessness of Peter?  And yet, You used each of these for Your purpose and to fulfill Your will ~  DESPITE their weaknesses and sins.  Which means You can also use me ... now ... while I am still growing and learning and seeking You and trying to master this process of "death to self."  Sometimes I am embarrassed that it has taken me so long to get where I am, but I know that if the Christian life was not a process, and we could attain holiness overnight, the joy would be less because we would never get to see the beautiful transformation that happens when You remove our filthy rags of sin and selfishness ~ and replace them with a gleaming cloak of righteousness. 

And that, to me, is the beauty of the constantly changing life of a Christian.  Not only do we get to enjoy the Lord as we draw nearer to Him and understand more of who He is ... 

we also get to look back and see how very far He has pulled us away from who we once were. 

And praise be to Him for that!  I don't know about you, but I never want to go back ... I only want to grow and grow and grow until it is impossible for the world to mistake me for "one of theirs."  I want to look unmistakeably like the Master.  In every area.  In every way. 

Lord, I have my water and my energy bar ~ let's go again!!

Ring or no ring ... I am his and he is mine.

Sadly, there is another tale to tell of my #34 day of mud and relaxation and laughter.

After I returned home, unpacked, showered and reconnected with my family, I noticed that ~ my wedding ring was not on my finger!!!

I had it on when we were in the mud, and I remember it when we went to the first pool because I put sunscreen on and I always hate how it gets into the crevices of my ring.  But somewhere between pool #1 and home ~ my ring disappeared.

I quickly tried to contact Glen Ivy but there was no direct number for the springs, so I e-mailed the only name I could find on the website - the CEO/President.  I felt terrible contacting him with such a request as I am sure he has much more important things to attend to.  Therefore, I was quite surprised to find a response from him within the next half hour.  Hi Michelle.  We’re on it and will reconnect one way or the other tomorrow. We’ll do everything we can to help you, thanks for reaching out to me. Jim  Talk about customer service!  He could have had a secretary or staff person contact me, but he took time out of his day to respond, and help me.

Sadly, when I heard from him the following day, the news was not what I had hoped:  Hi Michelle.  I wish I had different news but so far nothing…we’ve looked in towels, garbage, plant beds, pools, walkways and more. We’ll keep looking because crazier things have turned up much later.  And you keep hold of your husband.  All my best Michelle.  Jim

He is referring to Dennis because when I wrote to thank him for his quick response and generous help for this seemingly impossible task, I shared that I told Dennis what happened and he was not upset or angry - just gracious.  I have never lost anything important in 19 years of marriage ... wallet, keys, etc, so this is a first for us.  We are sad, of course, but a wedding ring does not define our marriage.  It is a thing.  A symbol.  If we are looking at life with an eternal perspective, rather than a human one, the ring is meaningless.  It is our commitment, loyalty, and trust in one another that defines our wedding vows, and our marriage.

And ring or no ring ~ 

I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine.  Song of Solomon 6:3

#34 ~ Mud Bath.

My friend Cindy and I go on an annual outing every year for our birthdays and this year we chose Glen Ivy, which was perfect since a mud bath was on my 40th year list!  It took us forever to get a date on the calendar since it is pretty much an all day event, but we finally did it and oh.my.goodness ~ we had a BLAST!

They do not take reservations for the Taking the Waters event.  You have to get there early and hope you make the cut.  So we arrived 30 minutes early to find an empty parking lot and be counted in the first 20 guests - yippee!  We were greeted by delightful hosts, told to have a nice day everywhere we went, replenished our thirst with complimentary fresh, chilled water all over the grounds, and uttered several "oohs and ahs" every time we entered a new area or found a secret delight.  The grounds are absolutely delightful.

We had planned to spend two, maybe three hours, in the springs but ended up staying for six hours simply because we could not tear ourselves away!  We were both ready to take a nap by the time we left because we were so relaxed, and kept looking at each other and giggling because we were so happy!  An entire day away for two stay-at-home moms is a definite rarity, and we soaked up every single second - literally!

We chose to start our morning with the mud bath so we could rinse off and enjoy the various pools the rest of the day.  Okay - I am not sure I have laughed so hard in a long time!!  They have a sulfur spring pool with a huge form of mud in the center.  You walk in, soak your skin, and then smear the mud all over you.  We were laughing at each other and helping cover all of the areas we could not reach.  We were told our skin would be as soft as a newborn baby so we wanted to cover every wrinkle and age spot we could find!  Cindy put so much mud on she actually became a different color and her salt/pepper hair ended up looking like a wig!

After you are covered in mud, you lay on lounge chairs to let the mud dry, and then exfoliate by scrubbing it off with a towel before rinsing off - either in the same sulfur spring or in fresh showers.  It was hilarious watching everyone look baffled and unsure and then sitting around looking like living mummies.  (thankfully we were the first ones in Club Mud so our embarrassment was limited to one another.)  Every time we looked at each other during our conversation ~ as we let the mud bake onto our skin ~ we would start laughing.  It was by far my favorite part of the day!

We then flitted to all of the pools before we settled in the Lounging Pool (Cindy's favorite) and spent almost an hour and a half holding onto each other's rafts so we would not drift away from one another.  We talked, laughed, and kept looking at each saying, "This is WONDERFUL!"  We have officially decided that we are done exchanging gifts for birthdays ... we are going to make an annual date to visit Glen Ivy every fall, in between the respective day of our births.  We can't wait!

After relaxing in the pool we enjoyed a delicious lunch - fresh, huge portions, great prices, and totally satisfying.  Our post lunch activities included a quick pop into a Roman Bath and another pool before we meandered through the gift shop and then headed home.

It was one of the best spa/swim/relax experiences I have ever enjoyed.  I highly recommend it!

Thanks for a wonderful birthday date, Cindy!  It was totally worth the wait!

# 1 ~ Go overseas.

This was an absolutely amazing trip!

For my first overseas adventure I could not have asked for better:

hosts

adventures

memories

experiences

opportunities

enjoyment

spiritual growth

It was FANTASTIC! 

#21 ~ Tea at The Huntington Gardens

 Denise, Cindy, Cassie, Christina, Me

A wonderful fall day at The Huntington Gardens ~ museums, gorgeous grounds, and an all-you-can-eat Tea! 
What a perfect way to start my 40th year!  

Thank you, ladies!  This was a memorable day.

40th Year.

I am not sure what happened to my documentation of my 40th year adventures ... I must have deleted them or lost them ... or perhaps I just THINK I have been documenting them when all I have been doing is putting the photos in a file and calling it a day!  Good grief.  I am going to attempt to catch up now - and hope I am successful!

I made a list of 40 things I have never done and/or always wanted to do.  Originally my plan was to do all 40 in one year, but after reviewing the time and budget it would take to accomplish such a goal, I decided to do 10 things a year for 4 years.  (give or take)

Since I am stunned that it is almost AUGUST, I wanted to check my list to make sure I am on track because there are barely 9 weeks before my 41st birthday.  Where did the year go?!?

Everything in bold I have already scratched off the list. 13 down, 27 to go!  Whew.

40^th year ~ Things I have never done and always wanted to do!

1.   Travel overseas  Malaysia

2.   Proper English High Tea

3.   Canopy Walk - Malaysia

4.   Hollywood bowl

5.   Vacation at Hume Lake as a family

6.   Zip line

7.   Go to Disneyland/California Adventure as a family

8.   Drive a boat

9.   Run 5 miles without stopping

10.  Do 20 real push-ups – not girl ones

11.  Try surfing

12.  Read a presidential biography

13.  Make a scrapbook of my life

14.  Date Dennis once a month for the year 

15.  Attend a horse race

16.  Bake a pie from scratch

17.  Make a cake from scratch

18.  Cook a turkey

19.  Take a cooking class

20.  Visit the Carlsbad flower fields

21.  Tea at the Huntington Gardens

22.  Go on a real hike

23.  Sew something

24.  Attend a concert

25.  Professional family photo shoot

26.  Paddle boarding

27.  Water rafting

28.  Paintball

29.  Volunteer (Grandmas House of Hope)

30.  Attend a College football game

31.  Go-kart racing

32.  4 wheeling Jeep adventure

33.  10 mile+ bike ride on the beach trails

34.  Hot springs/Mud bath

35.  Slide down a water slide

36.  Elephant Sanctuary – Ride/play with an elephant - Malaysia

37.  Karaoke

38.  Family Mission Trip

39.  See Stomp in concert

40.  ?

This really has been a lot of fun!  I am not sure I can make a list of 50 things when I turn 50, so I am thinking of choosing 5 really cool things to do with family and friends.  By then Ellie will be 11, so I will have a little more freedom to move about the country.  ;o)

He knew I needed her.

I love my Ellie girl!

I have just as many photos of the boys as I have of her, but I have to admit ...
her pictures are more fun. 

I think it's the HAIR!  And the clothes. 

This little dress was a gift from her Aunt CC when we were in Malaysia.  (They took us on a shopping spree at the store of one of my brother's customers.  F-U-N!)  I bought everything big so it would fit this summer and this is the first one we pulled out to enjoy.

I love everything about it ... a perfect 'fit' for Ellie!

This is one of her favorite positions when watching a movie with her brothers.  I actually followed photography protocol and got DOWN on the floor at her level to capture her in this shots.  I am glad I did!  Casual, simple, unposed ... just HER.

These days are fleeting fast ... I wish I could hold on to her at this stage forever.  But I know that the joy she brings me now will only increase as she grows and matures and learns to love the Lord more and more every passing day.  But oh, these moments right now ... right where she is ... they are so precious and make my heart ache with the joy of them!

Thank You, Lord, for blessing me with a daughter.  A daughter I never thought I would have.  A daughter I never knew I needed.  A daughter created by Your hand, at this time, 

for me ... because You knew I needed her.

A great Anniversary Date!

Happy 19th Anniversary!

I got to choose our activity, so Dennis chose the eatery.  What a surprise ~ a place that serves RIBS! (his favorite food ever)  We enjoyed an early dinner at Claim Jumper - ate way too much food - and had a great conversation about everything and nothing.  After we rolled out of the restaurant, we made our way home to change and move on to the next activity ...

A bike ride on the river trail!

We never get to do things like this together (alone) because we either have a trail of boys behind us or because I am at home with the littles while Dennis and the big boys go out on an adventure.  When we first hopped on our bikes I kept feeling like we were forgetting something, and then I realized ... "We are FUH REEEE!!!!!!"  

It was fantastic!

It was about a 7 mile ride and we took our time, enjoying all of the birds and pretty trees that surrounded the trail, and chatting along the way.  (Dennis also found great amusement watching me pedal uphill and my manner of biking style.  It's a good thing I am not insecure!  HA!)  Of course, SERIOUS bikers were whizzing past us calling out, "LEFT!" but I was perfectly content rolling down the lane on my pink cruiser at a slow pace.  (It has been a long time since I rode so far and, well, I wish there was such a thing as a 'squishy seat.'  (other than my own, of course!)

We had a great time and dreamed of doing such an activity every week.  Someday!

 I noticed our shadows on the street as we neared our house and thought it looked so cool!  As I attempted to pull my camera out of the bag in my basket, and snap a photo, I almost crashed - twice.  Once, into the back end of a Ford Focus.  Then, into Dennis.  He suggested that I stop my bike for future shots.  I agreed.

Thanks for a great date, Dennis!  You made our anniversary FUN!

I love you.  M