It is sufficient.

I have been struggling with some darkness in my mind and heart lately ... a lot of negative thoughts and small fears have been creeping in.  I kept trying to find the root of the darkness and prayed and prayed for the Lord to remove it and keep my mind focused on HIM, but it would not be resolved.   I kept fighting to find the answer because fear is spiritual warfare - a battle for control of your mind.  Christ or satan ... who will win?

It has to be Christ.
It always has to be CHRIST.

I could not shake the doubts, the "what if's", or the crazy fears that kept invading my thoughts.  On Thursday morning I opened the Word to read through the Psalms, but every time I began to read the Lord pulled my head up to pray.  I told Him how frustrated I was that I could not shake this feeling, this gloom, and finally yelled out loud, "I refuse to let this control me, Lord!  I KNOW who You are.  I KNOW this is not from You because You are not a God of fear!  Where is this coming from?  Why can't I figure it out?"  And then ~ the answer thwapped me in the face.

If God is not a God of fear then there is only one other place fear can be born ~ and then put into and nurtured in the heart and mind of a believer.

The pit of hell.

Satan.
The father of lies.
The prowling lion.
The accuser of the brethren.

And I refuse to be ruled by him.

Once I stopped looking for the "why" of the darkness, I was able to identify the "who" of the darkness.  And you know what?   That was all it took.  I know who I am fighting.  He is an enemy who will never go away, he will never stop trying to annihilate me, and I will have to keep fighting him with every ounce of strength I have until Christ returns or takes me home.  The battle will rage day after day after day because he will never quit.

And neither will I.

Satan has dozens of ways he enjoys attacking me, but this one, the fear and the unrest, is the attack I hate the most.  My confidence is brought low because I know I am not standing firm and holding my ground to win the battle.  I have to fight to drag my thoughts back to the Savior.  Sometimes moment by moment.  And I hate it.  I hate that it can take me days to get my mind stayed on Him.  I hate that satan can still sneak in and catch me off guard and pull me down into the pit where I have to claw my way back to the top.  But, there is some beauty in this fight because the Lord always brings me out of the dark pit - into the light - so I can once again see the One in whom all my strength and hope is found.

It is Christ alone who can raise me up.
Christ alone who can make me strong.
Christ alone Who is ~

ENOUGH.

I have to be on my guard c o n s t a n t l y to thwart the attacks of satan to take over my mind and fill it with things that are not of God.  When he can make me worry about "what ifs" and things I cannot control, my focus is taken off of Christ and is now completely on self.  And satan wins.

I will NOT lose this fight.

And the only way I can win is to be fully prepared for battle.  I have to guard my mind with the best things.   The things of Christ.  TRUTH.  And truth can only be found in one place ... Scripture.

Scripture.  Perfect, infallible, God-breathed, and it is ~

SUFFICIENT.
                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.  Job 42:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:2

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  II Corinthians 10:5

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6,7

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.  

Isaiah 26:3

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.  Colossians 3:1,2

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.  Joshua 1:8

I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.  

Psalm 16:8

A weekend of training and fun!

I am sitting, sequestered in our bedroom, listening to my husband share God's Word with junior high boys who just returned from the kick off night for Disciple Now 2012 - an entire weekend designed for the youth group to learn what it means to be disciples.  Why it is Biblical ... the benefits that come from being discipled by a mature Christian ... the need for accountability with brothers in Christ ... and the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are willing to speak truth into your life.  "Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

Of course, these vital lessons are surrounded by crazy games, a LOT of food, competitions, silliness, and lots and lots of laughter.

There are three houses filled with kids - one for jr high/high school girls, one for high school boys, and the pre-teen boys are spending the night - HERE!  We currently have 10 boys piled on top of each other in sleeping bags on the floor of our  family room.  Not to mention a table covered in snacks that could feed 40 people.  Seriously, these kids can EAT!  This is the promotion weekend for all 6th graders ... as of tomorrow morning they will be official members of the Junior High Youth Group ~ including our very own Micah Eastman!  (It still boggles our minds that he is in this phase of life.)

It is a blast listening to them interact with each other.  I love the sound of gut-wrenching laughter coming from boys.  That is how life is supposed to be when you are 12!

From this mother's perspective, I am thrilled to the see the fruits of the faithful labor of my peers.  Every single boy has been:  polite, kind towards our littles, encouraging to the other boys, thinking of others, cleaning up their messes and smiling, smiling, smiling.  Because we are with our kids all the time, we often overlook the positives.  Their good moments are expected, not appreciated.  It is when they are in public, without us there to remind them of manners, that the fruit of our labor shines forth ~ for good or for bad.  And I can say with complete confidence that these young men in training have passed the test and produced ripe and healthy fruit.

Well done, parents!  Your children are a reflection of YOU ~ and the reflection is beautiful!

And if you were a junior high boy, what would YOU want to do at 7:15 on a Saturday morning?

Why, ride bikes and jump over ramps, of course!

(I'm sure our neighbors were thrilled.) 

Round 2.

They are a bit weary after a 12-hour day of games and filming and worship and study ~ in 85 degree weather!  We made all of them shower so they would sleep better.  (There was a contest to see who could shower the fastest.  I think some of them came out with dry hair!)

They ate, got cozy in their bags, watched a movie and crashed.

Final morning debrief ... recapping all they learned and asking for the highlight of the weekend.

 Time to go to church and reunite with their families!
Thanks guys ~ we had a BLAST hanging out with you and getting to know you better!

He already enjoyed his!

It had not been 30 minutes since I set the just-out-of-the-oven round cakes on the counter to cool.

I left the kitchen to move a load of laundry to the dryer, gather materials for the day's lesson, and pull out some books I needed for the littles.

I was walking through the kitchen when I happened to glance over at the cooling cake to find ...

A gigantic DIVOT in the bottom layer!

Now, my older sons know better than to grab a handful of freshly-baked cake and shove it into their mouths, so that only left two suspects.  (Ellie cannot reach the counter yet.)

"Josiaaaahh!  Isaiaaahh!  Come HERE!"

I calmly, yet sternly asked, "Who ate the cake?"

Blank stares.

"Isaiah?  Did you take it?"

"No.  Osiah did."

"No I didn't!"

I looked at Josiah and noticed a trail of chocolate crumbs sticking to his lips and falling down his chin.   I am no Sherlock Holmes, but that was pretty solid evidence.

"Josiah.  Be a truth teller, son.  Did you take the cake?"

Head drops, shoulders hunch, and a barely coherent "Yes" tumbles from his lips.

He was banished to his room until his thievery and lying could be addressed, and this is how I found him when I peeked in to make sure he was, in fact, sitting on his bed as he was directed.

I think this image perfectly captures the disconsolate state of my son, don't you?

After a long discussion with his father, he was able to return to the family after apologizing to me for stealing and lying, and apologizing to Isaiah for ruining his birthday cake.

Isaiah quickly forgave and sought restoration with his brother by offering a pat on the back and a, "It's okay, Osiah."

Josiah is strong-willed and has a very hard time admitting wrongdoing and confessing his sin.  But he always comes through ~ eventually.  (the lure of Birthday Donuts certainly helps speed up the repentance process!)

By 8:15 am the Eastman house was at peace once again.

Oh!  Though the boy was admonished by both Dennis and me, there was also a natural consequence for this crime.  While the rest of the family enjoyed a nice, fat slice of birthday cake, Josiah sat with a strikingly empty plate that hosted only a small scoop of ice cream.

After all, he already enjoyed HIS piece!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Isaiah!

How we love you, Isaiah!

You have such a sweet and gentle spirit.  If you could be held and cuddled all day, you would sit contentedly on my lap and nestle in for hours.  And then you would wiggle free to go run and play and act crazy with your brothers!  You are all boy - full of energy and fun and silly faces.

You also give wonderful hugs and kisses and smile all.day.long.

Happy Birthday, Isaiah!

You are an absolute blessing to us and we know we are better because we have YOU to enhance our lives and bring us joy every single day.

With more love than we can express,

Mom and Dad

 

I will not quit.

Last week during our homeschool "Mom's Night of Encouragement" our speaker had us break into pairs with someone we knew, and who knew us, pretty well.  At first I thought this was odd since most people ask you to get together with someone you do not know in order to make a connection that would not normally be made.  We moved around the room until we were all sitting neatly in sets of two awaiting further instruction.

Our speaker encouraged us with the truth, and oft needed reminder, that what we do each day to serve our family, specifically our children ~ MATTERS.  Every time we make a meal ... change a diaper ... wipe a spill ... correct a math page ... read a book ... clean a scrape ... dry a tear ... and model prayer to a Father that cares ... we are honoring and pleasing the Lord and pouring not only ourselves into our children, but we are pouring the love of the Father into them.

If we are faithful in this, one day our children will stand and call us 'Blessed.'   Not because we are so amazing and wonderful and made every holiday spectacular, but because one day ~ one day ~ they will finally see that everything we did was because of our love for the Father, and our desire to honor Him was the driving force behind our passion for training them in righteousness. 

She asked us to turn to one another and share something positive and/or encouraging we see in each other as a mother.  I was paired up with a woman I do not know well in terms of life details, but I know her very well as a sister in Christ, for the few times we have been together have been spent in intense and serious discussions pertaining to immediate needs in life.  She is the only woman I have ever known who sacrifices absolutely every single personal desire/need/want for herself ~ to serve her husband and her family.  There are weeks at a time when she cannot even leave the house.  And yet, she always has a sincere, joy-filled smile and a praise for her Lord on her lips.  My respect for her is immense.

She chose to go first and completely blew me away with her words.  Not because they were fantastic or made me feel like a rock star, but because I felt like the Lord Himself was sitting in front of me to show me that everything He has brought me through, especially these past few months, was for a purpose.  A purpose He designed.

She took on a very serious tone and looked straight into my eyes stating, "You are a strong woman who was made specifically for raising sons.  You have to fight every day to keep them in line, assert your authority, teach them respect, protect them, teach them to be men, and meet every demanding need they have all day long.  And you have five of them.  Five boys who need a strong mama to train them the way the Lord requires them to be trained.  A weaker woman could not do it.  God MADE you the way you are - and He made you for this.  And I am guessing that you are pretty hard on yourself.  Don't be!  Other people may not get you and may not even like your strength because it pushes them and irritates them.  But you were not created for them.  You were created to glorify God and obey what HE calls you to do.  And he has called you to be a mom to sons who need a strong mama.  Keep pressing on, my friend.  Do not grow weary and do.not.quit."

I sat in my chair staring at her.

Absolutely stunned.

Lord?  Is this what You were waiting to show me?  In all You took me through and in all the lessons I gleaned from that intense time of trial and growth, I never saw this.  I never even thought about it.  It is my normal ~ it is all I know.  I never think about the why or the how - it just is.  But she is right, isn't she?  You did choose me for motherhood!  You chose to give me five sons.  There was no accident or mistake in that.  You specifically designed me to be a mother to Micah, Luke, Caleb, Josiah and Isaiah.  You knew the skills, abilities, character, and personality I would need to accomplish such a task and You began Your work in me the moment You created me.  

You knew, Lord!  What did I know?  How could I possibly have prepared for such a task?  On my own I am not at all equipped, but You began tweaking and shaping and forming me to be the exact woman I need to be to raise my sons and be the Mom YOU want me to be.  And I know I fall short, often.  Yet every time I fall, You are there, with arm outstretched to pick me up, dust me off, flick away the self-loathing and doubt that fights for my mind, and push me once again to do what You have called me to do.  

Thank You, Lord, for that night.  Thank You for speaking through this woman who models obedience and sacrifice every day.  Thank You for knowing who I need to be even when I don't.  I am the Michelle Eastman You created me to be, and I need to be 100% fully satisfied with her.  I may not always know the why or the how, but You DO.  And You will always be faithful to give me glimpses of Your plan when I need them most so that I do not grow weary.  I do get tired, Lord.  I do feel defeated.  I can be overwhelmed and feel as though I am failing my sons.  But I will not quit.  I.will.never.quit.
 

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.  I Corinthians 15:58

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

Family.

My brother and his family came out for their annual spring visit to the USA.  It is crazy to think that we were just in their home in Malaysia three months ago!  We enjoyed seeing them and spending time together as a family.  We had two "Family Days" when everyone was together and for the second event we decided to enjoy a beautiful Sunday afternoon at the park.  Family, food, and God's creation ~ how could you go wrong?

A Boccie Ball contest.

 Tender moments.

 Cousins.

(some cooperative, some not so much!)

 Grandparents with almost all of their grandchildren.

The masses waiting patiently while I took group shots, individual family shots, and anything else I wanted to do.  They barely tolerate me at the time, but are always thankful to have the memories later!

All together.

(This was supposed to be the SILLY shot but apparently everyone did not get the memo.  Half of us look angry or insane while the others look content and serene.)

I love God more.

A while ago I shared a challenge given by a visiting pastor and how the Lord convicted me, once again, to be fully committed to reading His Word.  Every.single.day.

A couple weeks later, after receiving a gift from a friend, I committed to rising early every morning to spend the morning however the Lord wanted me to.

These two convictions have been driving me ever since.  But I will not lie ~ it is not always easy.  There are mornings I awaken before the alarm and eagerly shuffle to my corner of the couch where I know the Lord is going to meet me and pour Himself into my heart and mind.  But there are also mornings when I am absolutely exhausted and I want my cozy sheets and soft pillow more than I want to be obedient and let my "yes be yes."  Every morning has not witnessed me bounding out of bed in the darkness with exuberant joy and anticipation of what is to come.  Sometimes I hit the snooze button four times and splash ice water on my face to shock my body and mind into some semblance of coherency. 

But no matter how the morning begins, slow or effortless, it is always, without exception ... absolutely wonderful.

Since I began, the Lord has had me in four places in Scripture.  A few days have been spent solely in prayer and songs of praise, but for the most part He has taken me on a specific path that I have thoroughly enjoyed.

First, I read the five Psalms of the day and then the Proverb of the day.  This is one of my favorite reading disciplines.  I generally do it a couple of times a year and find it to be encouraging and, quite soothing.  The Book of Psalms is filled with beautiful imagery describing how amazing and wonderful our God is.  David knew how to elevate our Creator with words that still ring true thousands of years later.  How great is our God!

Right before this challenge from the Lord to rise early to spend time with Him, my heart was at war.  I was struggling with being despised and loved and trying to find the secret of being content in the midst of the battle.  Since college, the Lord has used Job 38 & 39 to calm my heart when it is anxious.  I do not remember when or how I found these chapters, but every time I read them I feel like His peace washes over me like a refreshing wave on a hot summer day.  With each verse I feel my body relax, my mind clear, and my heart ~ is at rest.  No matter how many times I experience this, I am continually astonished at such a tangible response to God's Word.  This last time, it was no different.  I read both chapters and thanked the Lord for taking away the conflict and leaving me with His peace.  And then I realized that it has been years since I read the entire book of Job.  So I started to do so.  And sakes alive is it full!  Full of reminders of who we are, who He is, and that we have no business questioning Him, complaining or griping, and ... we must recognize that He is God.  He does what He wants to do, when He wants to do it, and that just has to be enough for us.  Faith.  Trust.  Surrender.  All to a mighty God who deserves it all.

The fourth place He has me is in Colossians.  I am studying this book with two young women and it has been so timely.  We are using the model of reading the same chapter every day for one month.  Using this method is fantastic because you do not just read once and walk away.  By repeatedly ingesting the same words of Christ over and over, you begin to see all of the details and specifics of the chapter and every day  your eyes are opened to something different - something you need right then.  Studying Scripture in this way makes the verse "Do not merely be hearers of the Word, but DOERS of the Word" come to life.  It is easy to hear the Word and not do it when you read it half-heartedly or just once.  But absorbing it, praying through it, and memorizing it (almost be default) causes the Scripture to permeate your mind in a way that makes you unable to avoid or hide from it.  It becomes a part of you and the Holy Spirit uses the words to convict you and push you towards holiness.

I think the greatest truth the Lord has shown me (and Dennis, as he has also committed to rising early each morning to study the Word) is how much I NEED His Word, how much I CRAVE it, and how much more I want to obey and show Him I love Him when I see how much He desires my holiness.

Simply stated:  The more I read God's Word, the more I want to read His Word.  It is addicting!

Several months ago I listened to a woman share her motherhood testimony as she described the battle the Lord was taking her through with her children.  The tears flowed freely and without apology when she said that she fasts and prays for her children.  She patted her belly and chuckled saying, "I love my food.  But I love my God more."

I will never forget that statement.

And on mornings, like today, when I want to curl up in a ball in my cozy, warm bed and sleep until after the sun rises, I remember this woman and say,  "I love my sleep, but I love my God more!"

And then I go find Him, and He showers me with His abundant love.

Even a child is known by his actions.

Last night I had the privilege of coming together with other homeschooling women in our church body to share and to be encouraged.  It is always fun to talk to people with whom you share a common passion and hear how the Lord is working in their lives and in their homes.  We are all different.  We have varying dreams and goals and interests.  None of us do school or play or meals or vacations the same.  Yet we share one very important thing in common ~ the desire to train our children to love God first, others second, and to do everything with excellence as unto the Lord.  And for that reason, no matter how different we may be, we can come together and be like-minded, mutually encouraging one another in this pursuit.

Our speaker for the night shared the thoughts and convictions of three different women (including herself) who have homeschooled their children.  What they did that worked, what they would do differently if given the chance, and the wisdom the Lord graciously gave them when they sought it.

I pray these will encourage and bless you as you read through them.  And, I pray the Lord will show you an area you need to focus on so you might find peace and joy in your home, because of your obedience to Him.
                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Don't burden your children with your own ego.

~ Discipline your children with love - not your pride.

~ Train for, require, and expect FIRST TIME obedience.  If you do not, you are giving your children a chance to sin ... one, two, three more times.  Do not cause them to stumble.

~ Do not tolerate mean teasing or picking on one another.  Create a home where everyone feels safe, secure, and appreciated.

~ Discipline in private.

~ Give clear standards for behavior AND the consequence for disobedience before you go somewhere with your children.  A football player knows the rules before he steps on the field.  Your children should know the expectations you have for them before they are put into any given setting.  Behavior standards at a wedding or a dinner party are much different than those at a park.  Set them up for success - not failure.

~ Do not allow whining!  (The saying in our house is:  Sorry, I do not speak Whinese!)

~ Let your Yes be YES and your No be NO.  Do not let crying, whining, or begging change your mind when you have made a decision.  Children need to be as content with the word no as they are with the word yes.

~ Learn to say NO to social events.  Your child will not be less successful or inept as a parent because she did not attend 14 birthday and skate parties each month.

~ Foster the feeling that HOME is as satisfying as going out.  Let your home be ENOUGH.

~ Discipline for attitudes - not mistakes.

~ BE THERE.  Deuteronomy 6:6  We cannot train our children in the ways of the Lord when we are not with our children.  Your presence is what provides security, comfort, and consistency in your child's life.

~ Discipline does not always have to be harsh.  Create natural consequences for sinful actions.  The child leaves dirty clothes all over their floor?  Take the clothes and put them in a bag.  When she has no clean clothes, she will understand.  She won't brush and floss her teeth?  Let her pay for the filling.  She will not speak to you respectfully?  She does not get to have time with her friends.  (If you cannot respect those in your home, you do not get to enjoy others outside of the home.)  Your children keep arguing and fighting with one another?  Have them walk around the backyard holding hands until they are kind.  Or better yet, have them give one another a foot rub!

~ Overlook childish mistakes.

~ Discipline with confidence - not disgust.

~ Discipline a toddler quickly and move on with your day.  Stop everything to talk to your child/teen.

~ Teenagers need as much attention and affection as a toddler.  Do not miss the opportunity to pour into them!

~ SMILE at your children.  Laugh.  Sing.  Dance.  Play.  "Your smile should be the regular landscape of your child's life."

~ We discipline our children and train them to obey us so when they need to obey God it seems natural.
                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The behavior of our children is seen by everyone.  People are watching.  Christians and non Christians alike.  Your family, your parenting, your children ... they are a living testimony of your walk with the Lord.  Do not underestimate this truth!  We cannot raise our children in our own strength and we will never, ever do everything right.  This is why the Lord gave us community - to encourage and challenge and exhort one another to be obedient to Scripture and live out Deuteronomy 6 day by day - even when we do not feel like it.  We are called to stir one another up to love and good deeds ... and what greater thing could we be stirred up to do then to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord?

Moms ... Dads ~ You were CHOSEN for this!  This thing called parenting ... this thing called family.  It is a high calling and it is not to be taken lightly.  While we are prone to parent based on pride because we fear others will judge us by the actions of our children (good and bad) we do need to strive for excellence.  We are raising our children for eternity!  People are watching and waiting to see how important eternity really is to us.  And like it or not, it is reflected in the hearts, minds, and behavior of our children.

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.  

Proverbs 20:11

Quote ~ on holiness.

Believers are called to live distinctly different lives.

Holiness means you act differently from others under the same set of circumstances. ~ David Roper

There is a price to pay for being holy.

Let's see what the Lord will do!

Okay, we have been putting something off for years.

YEARS.

Getting a dog.

For a variety of reasons, but mainly the fact that we had a baby every two years for the past decade and the thought of adding an animal to the mix made us delirious and light-headed.  (Well, me anyway.)  But, the Lord has written the last chapter of our natural family growth and our baby girl is almost 2!  We are ready to start considering a pet and there is only one option:  a dog.

We have one non-negotiable in this however ~ the dog has to be hypoallergenic.  Four of the eight of us are allergic to animals, so it leaves us with few options in the dog world.  The family favorites are Labradoodles and Goldendoodles.

We cannot afford to buy one from a breeder.  We cannot, and do not want to, raise a puppy.

We need a dog that is:
* grown (not a brand new puppy),
* house-trained,
* does not bark incessantly (our neighbors will turn it in) 
* does not bolt through an open door, or jump all over any human who walks into the house  
* and is able to withstand the hugs, kisses, energy, and playfulness of six children - all day long.

After some research we found that we do not qualify for Doodle dogs from rescue shelters because we are not previous dog owners and we have children under the age of five years old.  We thought the rescue was going to be the way we found our new family member, but alas, we were incorrect.

So we need your help!  If you can please keep your ears open for anyone who is looking to place a Labradoodle/Goldendoodle in a new home, please let us know!  We are in no rush and know that we are taking on a huge task.  The child who was created for pets, Luke, is praying fervently for the Lord to drop a dog on our doorstep.  (Which I fully believe He can do!)  Dennis and I have discussed this in great detail and feel ready to take on this responsibility knowing it will be good for our children, and for our family. 

We have no idea where else to look or how to go about finding a dog that does not cost $1500, so any advice or inside tricks you can send our way are both welcomed and appreciated!  We are confident the Lord knows the heart of our son, as well as the hearts of the whole family, and if He wants us to have a dog to love and enjoy He will provide the perfect dog at the perfect time.  We serve a God who cares about the big and the little things of life, and delights in giving good things to His children.

Hold on, Luke!  Keep praying and see what the Lord will do!

Willing to be defined.

After reading the passage in II Corinthians when Paul says he is kept from becoming conceited because of the thorn in his flesh, I decided to do a study on the words conceit/arrogance/pride so I could better understand the passage.  The definitions are deplorable and make it clear that these qualities have absolutely no place in the heart and mind of a believer.  The Lord opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.

While I was pretty sure these are not the sins that ensnare me, I recognize that I am as easy to deceive as Eve was.  She was perfect and without sin when satan deceived her in the garden!  I was born a a sinner and I will die a sinner.  If Eve could be blinded to truth, so can I.

I prayed for the Lord to reveal the reality of my own heart and He prompted me to seek the insight of others to confirm what He was telling me.  In the counsel of the wise, safety is found.  I sent a simple note to my groom, and a handful of friends who know me very well, asking this simple question:  "Would you define me as conceited, arrogant, or proud?" 

I am not going to pretend I was not nervous.  I was.  What if I have been missing this glaring flaw?  I have known others who have been blinded to their own weaknesses ... am I blind?  Oh my, was I encouraged when all of them responded in agreement, "No."  They used words such as bold, confident, and even opinionated, but not proud.  They also expressed, "Sadly, these qualities can be perceived as pride in someone who is confident - especially in Christ."  Dennis, after sharing his view of me, asked, "Are we done now?  You have had your answer confirmed by seven witnesses.  This is not your sin issue, Michelle.  Rejoice and move on!"

And he is right.

But it was the phrase 'confident in Christ' that caught my attention, so I did a word study on 'confident' and found these verses:

In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge. Proverbs 14:26

"This is what the Lord says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the Lord."
Jeremiah 9:23-24

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. Romans 1:16

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  Hebrews 4:16

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  

Psalm 20:7

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God  and receive from Him anything we ask, because we keep His commands and do what pleases Him.  I John 3:21

Scripture is very clear ... every opinion, conviction, or stand I take must come from Christ.  Nowhere else.  Just Him.  Which means, I need to compare my every thought to the Word of God.  I cannot boast in my own skills or gifts or abilities - everything comes from God and every single ounce of glory must be given back to Him.  Without exception.

I am not afraid of having a mirror held up to my face.  I am usually the one holding it.  But I am very, very afraid of not seeing the entire reflection.  I do not want to be blinded or deceived because I am unable to see the big picture.  I want to see who I am ~ not who I THINK I am.

I am willing to be defined as confident.  As long as the sentence ends with the words "in who you are in Christ."

His grace is sufficient.

In our reading together, the boys and I came to a passage in II Corinthians that made the "ding ding ding" sound inside my head.  "Is this the answer, Lord?," I wondered.

Paul says:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  

For when I am weak, then I am strong.
II Corinthians 12:7-10

With all of the rebukes and correction I have endured in my life by people who sincerely cared about me and wanted to push me to Christ, and even with the attacks from people who do not like me, I have never been told I was arrogant, proud, or conceited.  I never really thought about it because I have spent my entire life thinking, "I am not enough."  I never walk into a room thinking, "Yep, I am the most intelligent one in this crowd."  "Of course they would ask me!  I am the most capable!"  "Why wouldn't she want to be my friend?"  I was the one as a child/teen/young adult sitting towards the back, quietly, hiding behind the person in front of me so I would not be noticed.  I never volunteered for anything.  And I always assumed I would be chosen last.  I was liked because I was nice and kept to myself and did not give anyone a reason not to like me.  But I was by no means the girl who walked into a room and had everyone swarm around her.  I probably would have fainted if they had swarmed!  I was quite shy.  (I know, I know, hard to believe.)

Anyway, back to Scripture.

I have always focused on the 'thorn in the flesh' part of this passage in II Corinthians.  In the past several years, after I started taking my spiritual gift very seriously, I have asked the Lord numerous times, "Can You please let people like me?!  Or just make the attacks stop?  And while I am here, is there any chance I can get a different spiritual gift?  How about mercy?!  Everyone likes those people!"

Guess what His answer has always been?

A resounding, "NO, Michelle."

I never argue.  I just resign myself to this reality in my life and trust the Lord will show me the 'why" someday.   And my dear husband, who God put in my life to remind me not to take life quite so seriously,  shakes his head during these times and states, "There was a reason Jeremiah was called the weeping prophet, babe.  It is no secret why prophets were stoned and burned at the stake.  Why they were not invited to many dinner parties.  Who wants to sit next to the guy who reminds them that the Lord requires holiness and obedience, and if they do not repent they will die?  That's a party stopper!" 

Another wise man, a pastor, after I shared that I wanted to renounce my spiritual gift of prophecy (the desire to know God's Word and share it so others will live it out) and trade it in for one that is gentle and desirable, looked me in the eye and said, "Um, yeah.  You cannot renounce your gift.  If you do not exercise it you are disobedient and in sin.  But I will tell you this ... the life of a prophet is a very lonely one.  Get used to it, and learn to trust the Lord and not man."

So here I am, about ten years later, with an even more intense passion for knowing God's Word and living it out, and an increasing passion to teach it to others and share the truth of what God says.  And thankfully that passion is becoming more evenly balanced with reality (on most days) and I know that every time I share what God's Word says about any given topic, I take the chance of being shot simply because I am the messenger.  I do not always endure the pain well, and sometimes I want to scream, "STOP AIMING AT ME!," but more than anything I want to be obedient.  "If you love me you will obey My commands."

As I read this passage  ... To keep me from becoming conceited ... I wondered out loud, "Lord?  Would I be an arrogant and conceited person if everyone liked me and praised me all the time?  If I heard nothing but "you are wonderful", rather than criticism, would I become proud and puffed up?  Would I fall prey to the praises of men and forget that it is only YOUR approval I am to long for?  Better yet - am I conceited and I don't know it?  If so, SHOW ME, Lord, for You oppose the proud ... You literally turn Your face against them!  I never want to be a proud woman."

After spending time praying through this, the Lord moved me on to these words:

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  

Excuse me, what?  You DELIGHT in these things?  Come on, Paul, are you insane?  Who delights in insults and rudeness and rejection?

But you see, Paul is mature when he writes this.  Clearly, I am not.  But it does not take long to find the source of his delight, for we know Paul's greatest desire was to finish the race and receive the crown of splendor as a saint who did the work of the Father willingly, continually, and with joy.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am never going to be liked all the time.  I am never going to be accepted, desired, or understood all the time.  But in those moments ... when it seems that I am hated more than I am loved ... it is in those moments that I am forced to my knees to seek strength from, and trust, a God who knows my every thought, and needs me to be utterly dependent on Him.
 

My power is made perfect in weakness.

HIS power is made perfect in MY weakness.

More of Him.

Less of me.

All of Him.

None of me.

That is where I want to be.  Forgetting what the lips of men may say, good or bad, and resting contentedly in His power.

Because ~

His grace IS sufficient for me!

Hip Hip Hooray!

Drum roll please!

Isaiah is officially POTTY TRAINED!

 We need not discuss how long it took because the reality is, it is DONE!

And he is a happy boy wearing real underwear!

(And his father and I are happy that we are no longer paying for double diapers!  

The first time in E L E V E N  Y E A R S!)

Great job, buddy!  We are proud of you!

Completing the work He began.

If you have anyone in your home, adult or child, who struggles with anger, I encourage you to add this book to your family library.

I read it five years ago and underlined and starred almost the entire book - it was convicting, challenging, and quite simply - truth.  I forgot about it until recently when a friend asked if I knew anything about it.  I pulled it off the shelf and flipped through the pages reading my notes (including phrases like "Ouch!") and committed to reading it again.

But then ... our son, who is the unfortunate recipient of my generational sin, had a major temper fit and I thought, "He needs to read this book!"

So, I assigned him a chapter a day for two weeks which he read without argument or complaint.  Each day he had to report back to me and give a brief synopsis of the chapter and the one thing that influenced him the most.

We had good discussions and he seemed quite challenged by the words he was reading.  Towards the end I forgot I had even assigned it because he had not displayed his temper to remind me of this particular sin issue.  When I realized this I exclaimed, "Hey!  He has not had a fit in a while!  I wonder what is going on?"

So I asked him.  I started with praise telling him how proud I was of him for controlling his temper, walking away when frustrated instead of engaging in a verbal battle, and overall exhibiting a positive and upbeat attitude each day.  I could tell he was pleased with this affirmation of his efforts.  I asked, "What has changed?  Is it just happening or are you purposely trying to change your behavior?"  At first he responded, "It's just happening" until I said, "Actually, nothing 'just happens'!  Our flesh will always win unless we make a conscious effort to die to self and honor the Lord.  Honoring the Lord is a CHOICE.  It never 'just happens.'  So what changed?"  He paused for a moment and then replied, "It's the anger book."

I was stunned.

The book?  Really?  After all of our conversations and prayers together and the copious amounts of Scripture he has read about anger and temper and foolishness?  A BOOK is what got to his heart?

And the Lord gently replied, "Yes, Michelle.  A book.  I can work through any medium I choose and sometimes someone just needs to see their sin from another perspective to understand.  How many times have you been encouraged and pushed closer to Me through the words of another?  Why should a ten-year-old boy be any different?"

Point taken, Lord.

I thanked Him for using the book to reach in and pull out the deeply rooted sin of anger in my son and show him how ugly and displeasing it is to the Father.  He has been a different boy.

About a week later he and Dennis were on an errand together and Dennis praised him for his growth in this area and asked him, "What's up?"  The boy responded, "It's that anger book.  I realized that the cost is way too high.  All of the time in my room and losing privileges just because I cannot keep myself in control ... the price is too high.  So I stopped."  You can imagine my groom's reaction.  He came home to report the incident to me and stated, "Hon, that is mature, rational thinking.  He DOES get it!  And he realizes that he can no longer blame someone else for his sin.  He isn't willing to pay the high price of consequences that comes with living in anger."

We praised God once again for using this tool to get to the heart of our boy - but we then immediately prayed for his protection because we know that satan WANTS our son angry because "the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."  He will tempt him and pester him to fall back into anger with gusto and glee and rejoice every time he gives in to the flesh.  Complacency can have no part in the life of a believer.  When you set your sword down, remove your helmet, and take off the belt of truth (that satan prowls the earth seeking to devour you) - you are vulnerable ... and the perfect target for his attacks.

Our son will have to continually squash the desire to be annoyed and irritated.  He will have to crucify the flesh daily to maintain a heart that is filled with thankfulness and joy rather than blame and victimhood.  But he will never have to do it alone!!  Not only does he have two parents who will continually take Him to Scripture, cheer him on toward righteousness, and hold him accountable to the Word until the Lord takes us Home ... he has four brothers, a sister, and an entire body of believers who will do the same.  He can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives him strength and when he is weak the Lord's power is seen even more clearly.

A heart filled with anger grieves the heart of God.

But a heart willing to surrender all and drop every wicked part at the foot of The Cross brings Him delight.

I pray our son will delight the Lord more than he grieves Him, and will willingly sit on the Master's counter as the Lord faithfully completes the work He began in our boy ~ until the day of Christ Jesus.
 

Seeing the Savior.

Last Easter I asked my stepfather to maker me a simple cross to put in the backyard.  We were hosting Easter Sunday and had planned something special to keep the focus on the the purpose of the day.  We actually stole the idea from a wonderful woman at Biola who did a similar activity to kick off the year with her staff as they prepared to serve and minister to the students that would filter in and out of their classrooms and offices all year long.

Dennis selected a group of rocks from the beach one morning while surfing and we placed them in a bowl on the table next to slips of colored paper.  After the feasting was over, the egg hunt complete, and dozens of photographs were snapped, we brought everyone together to share our activity with them. 

Dennis read the passage when Christ asks us "Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" and then I asked them to think about one thing in their life that was burdening them ... one thing that seemed to overwhelm them ... one thing that they wished they could just completely let go of, forever.  I encouraged them with the truth that The Cross was ENOUGH.  Christ is all-sufficient.  There is nothing He cannot solve.  No problem is too small or too silly for Him.  He bids us, "Come ... let Me, the Maker of heaven and earth, take the heavy load off of your back and put it on my very capable, and holy one."

Then we asked each person, children included, to write out that one thing ... the one burden they wanted to lay at the foot of the cross ... and tape it to a rock.  When they were ready, they were to go and place the rock at the foot of the cross in the backyard.  And leave it at the feet of Jesus.  The very One who paid it all, and covered every one of our sins with His blood, on that hill called Calvary two thousand years ago.

It was such a blessing, and quite moving, to see each member of my family walk out to the cross when it was quiet and pause before they set their rock at the base.  No one spoke, some went alone, some went as a couple.  It was personal and private. 

At the end of the night, just before sunset, I collected the rocks and put them away in our linen closet.

Yesterday, on Easter Sunday, we had the privilege of being together again ~ all of us who placed the rocks one year ago.  I pulled them out of the closet and after we had our time of Scripture reading together, Dennis gave everyone their rock.  It was fun to watch the responses.  Some did not remember what they had written, some were pleased that the Lord had been faithful to carry their burden as He promised, and some realized that they needed to place the rock at His feet again.  It was still private but a few of us let each other read our slips.

I was one who had no idea what I had written last year.  I had been eagerly anticipating "the reveal" all week and it was all I could do to keep from peeking at my slip!  I am so glad I did resist because the impact was all the greater when I opened mine to read:

"Lord, thank You for Your example of obedience and sacrifice.  Show me, day by day, how to be like You.  I lay my petty hurts and annoyances here at the cross and ask You to fill me up with Your love, Your patience, and Your long suffering.  More of You - less of me.  Love, Michelle."

Do you see it?  Petty annoyances and hurts.  Patience and long suffering.  He was faithful!!!  I almost started laughing as I reflected on the past few months.  My sister-in-law looked at me and said, "Girl!  You should not have been surprised by what happened to you!  You ASKED for it!"

And she is right.  I did ask for it.  I want to be more like Him.  I want to be more patient and long suffering.  And there is absolutely no way to do that without growth.  And growth comes through trials.

The past four months have been the most difficult and the most amazing of my Christian life since Matthew died.  Though exhausting, it was not without purpose because the Lord pushed me further than He ever has before to create an insatiable desire for Him and His Word and I simply cannot get enough.

And you know what?  He DOES have to show me day.by.day how to be more like Him, because I am so easily inclined to be myself ... in the flesh.  Being like Him is the only thing I want.  And like a child who is a carbon copy of her parent, I pray that in the next year, five years, ten years ... the resemblance will grow more visible so that when people look at me they will not see Michelle.

They will only see the Savior.

Everyday Life.

 

Joining my thoughts with His.

R.C. Sproul wrote a book titled "5 Things Every Christian Needs to Grow."  It is a small book, a quick read, and a great review of the fundamentals of the faith. 

Just as a football coach may look at his players after a particularly sloppy game, hold up a football and state, "This is a football.  Am I going too fast for you?," we as believers sometimes need someone to hold a Bible in the air and ask, "Have you seen one of these?  It's a Bible.  Do you know Who wrote it?  God.  Do you know what to do with it?  Read it!!"

Fundamentals of the faith.  We need to review them.  Often.

5 things.
Bible study
Prayer
Worship
Service
Stewardship

I was struck by something he wrote about Bible study.  He is spot-on accurate.  (emphasis mine)

"This yields a practical help for Bible study:  read the Bible with a red pen in hand.  I suggest that you put a question mark in the margin beside every passage that you find unclear or hard to understand.  Likewise, put an X beside every passage that offends you or makes you uncomfortable.  Afterward, you can focus on the areas you struggles with, especially the texts marked with an X.  This can be a guide to holiness, as the Xs show us quickly where our thinking is out of line with the mind of Christ.  If I don't like something I read in Scripture, perhaps I simply don't understand it.  If so, studying it again may help.  If, in fact, I do undersand the passage and still don't like it, this is not an indication there is something wrong with the Bible.  It's an indication that something is wrong with me, something that needs to change.  Often, before we can get something right, we need to first discover what we're doing wrong." ~ R.C. Sproul

I know my thinking has been out of line with the mind of Christ more than once, though I was not always aware of it.  I love this visual picture of seeing where His mind and my mind do not align and wrestling through it until my thinking joins His.

... continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  

II Timothy 3:14-17

He has to be enough.

Last night I suffered a tremendous hurt.  The arrow thrown at me was not a new one.  It is the same old arrow that has been thrown dozens of times before, by the same person.  I should not have been surprised, especially because I knew it was coming but ... I was surprised.  And I think the reason it hurt so much was because I really thought I had let go of the past ~ forgiven the archer ... removed the target ... and learned to hear the distinct whizzing sound of the arrow when it is thrown so I can get out of the way.

For the most part, this is true.  I do know the sound.  I have become quite adept at zigzagging to avoid the head of the arrow stabbing me in the backside, and I have forgiven the archer and laid all of my hurts, emotions, frustration, and anger at the foot of the Cross.

But last night?  It felt like I had never done any of those things.

A few simple words spoken to me and I was a crumpled mass lying on the ground, looking up at the sky, wondering what in the world just happened?

And then I remembered.

Every detail.  Every word.  Every rejection.  Every dismissal.  The absence of affection, kindness, and protection.

And it took every ounce of my being to keep my mind from racing to the past and reliving all of it.  I had to fight to keep the emotions from flooding in once again to beat me down like sand on the shore.  I knew I had to choose:  dwell on what I just heard and let it control me OR fall back into the arms of a God who promises to hold me forever, loves me more than can be described, and chooses to call me His own.

Who will you believe, Michelle?  Who will you allow to control you?

I chose God.

I had to literally squash the thoughts in my mind, force them to another place, and picture myself turning and walking away from the one who was taunting and pointing at me and feeling no shame for doing so.  It was hard.  I wanted to stay there.  I wanted to scream and flail my fists and cry out, "Why?  Why do you keep doing this to me?  I have never done anything but seek to please you!  When am I ever going to be enough just.as.I.am?  WHEN? "

But I did it.
I walked away in my mind.
And I turned to my husband and let him be my affection ... my kindness ... my protection.

This morning, as I watched the sky change from black to blue, I took my Bible, sat in my favorite corner of the couch, and simply asked, "Lord?  Do I have to do this again?  I thought we were done with this?  I have prayed for wisdom and for unconfessed sin to be revealed, and You have given me peace.  I have done all You have asked me to do and now this.  I just don't understand.  How long, Lord?  How long?"

And I wept.  A true, deep-from-within-the-soul weeping that I had no idea was still possible with this person.  It startled me at first and I tried to stop it, but the Lord pushed me forward and I cried out to Him until there was nothing left.  I asked again for wisdom and for Him to show me if there is something I am missing - something more I need to do.

I opened my Bible to read through my Psalms for the day and moved through the other passages He has me studying.  Many were fitting for the need of the moment, but it was in Colossians that He spoke the loudest and soothed my confused and aching heart.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.  

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called, in one body.

And be thankful.

Colossians 3:12~15

MacArthur's note reads:

meekness ~ the willingness to suffer injury or insult rather than to inflict such hurts

I am at peace.  I have not sinned against this person, nor have I done any grievous thing.  I am simply not wanted, and that is okay.  It has to be okay.  I must forgive the hurt because I am forgiven much, and I need to be thankful.  Thankful. 

I am willing to suffer insult and injury much more than I am willing to be the cause of such injury.  So I will trust in the God who made me, who loves me, and will always want me.  I cannot look for more anywhere else.

He simply has to be enough. 

And He IS.

Much better.

Ellie enjoying a normal day of fun, books, play time, and hugs and affection from her big brothers.

 Ellie's head about an hour later when Josiah was done chewing his gum and decided to throw it away - in her hair.

 "Um, when did my head become a trash can?"

 "I really don't understand."

 "The gum is out.  Thanks, Mom!  I feel much better now!"
 

This is our fight!!!

We had a youth meeting Sunday after church.  After we discussed summer camp, discipleship training, and the mission trip, the pastor dismissed the students from the room so he could speak to the parents privately.  Before he began, he had Dennis hand out a pamphlet titled "pornography." We were a little nervous wondering how the parents would respond, especially the moms, but we were surprised to see rapt attention and a desire to listen, rather than fear or arrogance.  (how many times have you heard a parent utter the phrase, "My child would N E V E R ..."?) 

The pastor began, "I receive at least two calls a day from someone wanting counseling.  And the number one topic on the list?  Pornography."  And then began a 15 minute discussion about statistics, steps needed to protect our kids, and questions, confessions, and ideas from staff and parents alike.

This quote struck me:

"You would not invite a prostitute to sleep in your guest room and give her direct access to your sons and daughters.  Do not be fooled into thinking she is not sneaking in through computers, televisions, ipads, and iphones and having the same, if not a more damaging effect, than if she were living in your house."

79% of accidental exposures to Internet porn among kids take place in the home

67% of children admit to clearing their Internet history to hide their online activity

I rarely stand on a soap box to scream at the top of my lungs about an issue - but this is one issue I will scream about until I am hoarse, voiceless and without breath.  Pornography is DESTROYING our children.  It is destroying our teenagers.  It is destroying our men.  Our pastors.  The church.  We have to take a stand!!!!!  If you are a parent and your child has access to any piece of technology that connects to the internet, you are a fool if you do not have every option available engaged to protect them.  8 years old, 14 years old, or 19 ... they are trapped lambs feeling the hot breath of the lion that is about to devour them.

In our family I am hyper vigilant about this - I control the TV clicker so the slightest piece of skin or sexual innuendo can be flicked away - I do not let my husband or my boys get the mail so they are not unwittingly exposed to almost-naked women in magazines - I turn magazines backwards when waiting in line at a store - when we drive by indecent billboards I distract them or tell them to "look away."  These are my brothers in Christ, my husband and my sons, and there is no way - NO FLIPPING WAY - I am going to knowingly expose them to pornography or sexual exploitation without a fight to the death.  

This includes the beach, pool parties, and other venues where women do not think about, or care, what they are wearing and how it affects men who are seeking desperately to remain pure in thought and action.  And it is not just the world.  Christian women will romp around the beach in nothing but a string and a couple of coconuts claiming "he doesn't have to look, that's his problem" "it is not my fault I have a nice body" and my favorite, "only fat women care about modesty.  If they had a great body they would show it off too."  Sorry - not if they desire to honor the Lord and protect their brothers in Christ, they won't.  If God gave a woman a body that reflects the perfection of the Garden, hooray for her!  It was given to her for her husband to enjoy.  Let him drink it in.  And then, cover her, so boys and men are not caused to stumble into sin because of her vanity.

Men, my husband and my sons, are responsible for what they look at and dwell on, and will stand before God to give an account.  But we, as sisters in Christ, are responsible to help keep them from stumbling into sin through the temptations that swirl around them.  Including ourselves.  We need to pray for them, encourage their purity, turn them from sin if they fall, and spur them on towards love and good deeds.  Satan is not going to control my children through sexual immorality, lust and pornography if I have anything to say about it!  I have been praying for their purity since they were babies.  And I pray for my husband constantly.

Even with all of my praying ... satan found a way in and grabbed both of our oldest boys by the heel when they had no idea he was even circling around them, drool slopping on the floor while he licked his lips.

Dennis assigned them a website to look at for a school project.  He personally looked up the site, set them up and let them work.  (our computer is in the middle of the family room for accountability)  On the site there was a link to You Tube, where they have been allowed to view things in the past with our permission while we were in the room, so they thought it was an approved site.  Within two clicks they were on a porn site.  One boy only looked a couple of times, the other boy spent two weeks going back each morning to see what else might turn up.

Until ...
the Lord saved him from himself when the boy accidentally left a window open for me to find.  I quickly checked the history to find where he had been and looked through each site.  It was my worst nightmare happening before my eyes.  He had used the innocent word "tickle" which opened up an entire world of pornography to his pure, innocent eyes.  Thankfully he did not see anything horrifying or unnatural, but he saw enough.

He was NINE YEARS OLD.

A child.

And it is only because of the grace of God that his sin was discovered so quickly, dealt with immediately by both of his parents, and was not able to spread roots and pull him into a pit that is nearly impossible to climb out of.

You would not let a prostitute take up residence in your house.

Do not let her take up residence through your television, your computer, your iphone, your ipad or any other internet connection available.  (BSecure, Covenant Eyes, ClearPlay)  GUARD YOUR HOUSE!   Protect your children.  Your teens.  Your spouse.  It is your job, Mom, sister, daughter, grandmother, friend.  It.is.a.real.battle and you are fighting for the hearts and souls of those you love.

We have a sword over our door as a reminder that we are raising Soldiers for Christ.

* Protect the innocent  * Defend the weak  * FIGHT THE ENEMY  * Stand firm in the faith*

The sword is not just for defending our home.  It is for the OFFENSIVE fight as well.  And I will keep wielding my sword until the Lord takes me home.  Not just for my husband, sons and daughter ~ but for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Close your windows.  Shut the doors of your house and turn the locks.  There is an enemy who is real, who is hungry, and he is salivating for the opportunity to shred your children with his ferocious fangs until the blood runs dry and only a lifeless body remains.  Grab your sword, Moms.  Plant your feet, dig in your heels and get ready for the blows.

There is a war happening, and THIS IS OUR FIGHT!
                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.  The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.  1 Corinthians 6:1-20

 

Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. I Timothy 5:1,2

The LORD said to Moses, “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by chasing after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. Then you will remember to obey all my commands and will be consecrated to your God.  Numbers 15:37-40

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith. 1 Peter 5:8, 9

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.  
2 Corinthians 7:1

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

How can a young man (woman) keep his (her) way pure?  By living according to Your Word.  Psalm 119:9