Paper, paper, paper!

I need your help!

As my birthday approaches my family continually asks, "What do you want?"  For some reason they think I am hard to buy for.  I think I am easy but perception is reality.

The one thing I always love to receive and never seem to have enough of is, STATIONERY!

I love stationary.  Big cards, small cards, sheets, note cards, floral, geometric, seasonal, nature, sketched, photographs, all colors, all prints - if I own it I will write on it!  I write at least ten notes a week, for a variety of reasons.  As you can imagine, my stock depletes quite quickly.  And when I say I love stationery I mean it!  I have to avoid stores like Papyrus (drool) because I can easily walk out with 15 new sets of gorgeous, smooth-as-silk, just-waiting-to-be-used stationary that I would have to give up eating for two weeks to cover the expense!  And don't even get me started on perfect pens, decorative stamps and ...

Here is how you can help: point me to your favorite places for stationery!  Everyone sells it - clothing stores, designers, coffee houses, museums, discount stores - it is everywhere!  But my groom and my sons need your help.  Where do they go?  Where can they find fun, retro, classic, girlie, beautiful, crazy options that do not require a loan to purchase?

I have had an obsession with paper since I was a little girl - even office supplies make me giddy!  But stationery is in a class all by itself.  As much as I love receiving it and purchasing it, what I love even more is sending it!  Hundreds of gorgeous note cards sitting in a drawer are not fulfilling their purpose.  They need to be used, written on, prayed over and sent to someone who needs a word of encouragement, a ray of hope, a smile or simply an "I love you."  I will always have a drawer that overflows with stationery and I will always have a box filled with the cards that have been given to me. How I love sitting down to read through the thoughtful, lovely, God inspired words sent to me by others ... it makes my heart sing!

So - are you ready?  Send me your favorite places.  Your favorite artists and designers.  I am ready to replenish my stock with blank pages just waiting to be filled with ink.  I can't wait to see what you have for me!

Is this how He feels?

I was outside watering our lawn today in order to save it from withering in this crazy heat.  As I watered I looked at our three fruit trees ~ a peach tree, plum tree and apricot tree ~ and realized that we have not had one piece of fruit in two years.  Two years!  The first year we lived here we had to give away AND throw away dozen of peaches a week because it was so laden with fruit.  It was gorgeous!

We have not changed anything about our yard. We have not changed our routine.  The trees get the same amount of water and sun as they always have and we even had a professional tree service come out to prune them and were told they are in fabulous shape.

So it begs the question, why no fruit?!?  It is so frustrating. We are doing everything right but yielding nothing.  We could be enjoying delicious fruit from our own trees every spring and summer but alas, nothing.

And then it struck me.  Is that how the Lord feels about us?

God has given us every single thing we need to live a fruitful life:

His Son.
The free gift of salvation.
The Holy Spirit.
The Word.

And yet how many Christians walk around with dead leaves falling off of withered branches?

Or at the most, branches that produce green leaves, but the fruit never follows.

A tree without fruit still has something to offer.  Shade perhaps.  Beautiful leaves.  But if it does not produce fruit it is no longer doing what it was created to do.

Jesus says:

"The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."  

Matthew 3

"For there is no good tree which produces bad fruit, nor, on the other hand, a bad tree which produces good fruit.

For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick grapes from a briar bush.

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart." Luke 6

A life without Jesus Christ.  A life without salvation.  A life without the Holy Spirit.  A life without knowing the Word.

Fruitless.  Lifeless.  DEAD.

But a life WITH Jesus Christ ~ the forgiveness of the cross ~ the power and conviction of the Holy Spirit ~ the knowledge and understanding of God's Word ...

 Abundant life!

"The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
       they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

planted in the house of the LORD,
       they will flourish in the courts of our God.

They will still bear fruit in old age,
       they will stay fresh and green,

proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
       he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

                                                 Psalm 92

Our fruit trees are beautiful.  Every year I love to watch the tiny green leaves unfold and add life to the bare branches.  I love watching the branches fill with leaves and create shade for my boys to enjoy.  I love seeing the leaves fall away as winter approaches and the tree prepares for a new season.  But I am always disappointed when the fruit does not come in the spring.  Peaches, plums, apricots ~ nowhere to be seen.

And I know this is how the Lord sometimes sees me.  I have His Son.  His forgiveness. The promise of eternal life.  The Holy Spirit.  The body of Christ.  The Bible.  And yet there are seasons in my life when I barely produce enough to make my tree worthwhile.  I may look good.  I may offer something valuable to someone who needs me.  I may even begin to show promise of being ready to burst forth with new life.

But nothing happens.

And I break the heart of God.

No.  I do not want to be the tree that is cut down and cast into the fire.  I want to be the tree that stands at the edge of the stream and produces new life, new fruit, new beauty year after year after year.  I want to be a tree that is strong.  A tree that can bend but will not break.

I want to be this:

"Blessed is the man
       who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
       or stand in the way of sinners
       or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
       and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
       which yields its fruit in season
       and whose leaf does not wither.
       Whatever he does prospers."

                                            Psalm 1

Everyday life.

Exactly!

This morning I was talking to one of ours sons about a sin issue he has been struggling with.  Lying.
I was sharing with him that what his dad and I are most concerned about is not the behavior, but his heart.  "From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."  A mouth that lies reflects a heart that is not pure.  A heart that needs radical change ... a change that can only happen through the Lord.

I told him that satan lives to find weaknesses in those who love God because his only desire is to destroy those who love God.  Once he finds our weakness he will find an opportunity every day to tempt us in that weakness.  When we give in, he wins.  And he is never satisfied with one win.  He will keep going until the sin becomes habit.  Until guilt is no longer present.  He keeps tempting and enticing us until we are fully surrendered to him and completely rejecting God and/or living a life of duplicity.

"Satan will seek to destroy you until Jesus returns and satan is bound and thrown into the pit of fire.  You will have to spend your life fighting him.  Every day.  Sometimes you will fail, sometimes willingly.  But if you hold your shield in front of you and wield your sword with your feet firmly planted in truth and the power of God, you will win the battle.  You have to fight. You have to be ready.  The moment you let your guard down he will take you again."

My son listened intently during our conversation and when I asked him if he understood what I was saying he looked at me with very serious, hopeful eyes and asked, "So, one day satan will be bound with the same chains he binds us with?  The ones he uses to hurt Christians?"

"YES!"

He got it.  He understands that the enemy is prowling about seeking to devour him.  And more importantly, he understands that one day the Lord, the Almighty and powerful God, will defeat satan.  The battles will be over.  The war will be won.  Holiness will conquer sin and satan will be no more.

And Christ will reign forever at the right hand of the Father.

Praise God to whom ALL blessings flow!

Dreams?

My friend recently did a blog post about a dream she has and what it would mean to her if she were able to achieve that dream.  It was clear that she is passionate and motivated and ready to begin the pursuit.  And then she asked, "Do you have dreams in your heart?  What are they?"

That made me think. I have never considered myself a dreamer because I am such a realist.  I think about every detail from A to Z and back again and then I act.  I am practical.  In the here and now.  I focus on what IS and what needs to be done.  But dream? I'm not so sure.

So I have spent the last few days thinking about this.

One of my favorite verses is "The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps."  Proverbs 16:9   How does this fit with dreaming ... planning ... hoping?  Can the two work together?  I think they can.

History is filled with people who have pursued dreams, passions, and ideas.  Some succeeded.  Some failed.  And the truth is, many failed several times before success was ever found.  The idea was there but the timing was off.  The desire was there but the training was not yet in place.  The dream was big but the reality was not attainable ~ yet.

We are called to "do everything to the glory of God."  We were created for His glory.  He says that if we delight in Him He will give us the desires of our heart.  We have not because we ask not.  Ask anything in My name and it will be given to you.  Approach the throne of grace with CONFIDENCE.

God MADE US with interests and passions and desires. He made us with dreams!  He did not create us to live a dull life. In fact, He came to give us abundant life!!  How many of us even know what that looks like ~ what it feels like?

Abundant life.

That is my dream.

I want to see Niagra Falls.  I want to hike in the Grand Canyon and see Yosemite.  I want to swim under a waterfall and jump out of an airplane.  I want to walk the streets the Lord walked and experience the sights and sounds of Israel.  I want to eat the best turkey sandwich ever made.  I want to run a mile without stopping.  I want to write.  I want to speak to women and encourage them and challenge them to strengthen their walk with the Lord.  I want to help heal hurting hearts.  I want to be wise.  I want to minister to women who have lost a baby.  I want to get my teeth whitened.  I want to own 1500 thread count sheets. I want to learn how to take amazing pictures.  I want to laugh more.  I want to learn to love exercise.  I want to live to be 100.

And you know what?  The Lord just may let me do all of these things.  Or He may not.  I love having plans and desires, but the only ones I really want to pursue are those the Lord Himself lays on my heart.

Abundant life.

It can only be found in HIM.  Nowhere else.  Nothing else will ever come close to being satisfying if I have not sought the life that only Jesus Christ can give.  Pure.  Selfless.  Unconditional.  Life-changing.  Real. 

Abundant life.

I guess I do have a dream!  And I have the benefit of knowing that if I trust the Lord, seek His face daily and follow where He leads in obedience and faith, I WILL achieve it.  How exciting is this!?!

Thank you, friend!

A one-room school house.

I was so excited to begin a new school year this year because a) I knew I would not be pregnant which means b) I will not be sick!  We started later than usual so we could adjust to a newborn and have Ellie on a consistent schedule.  (Did I tell you she is sleeping through the night?  Yippee!)

We have an incredible course of study planned and I was so eager to dive in and begin learning with the boys.  (As those who homeschool know, we learn as much, if not more, than our children when we are teaching them.  It is fabulous!)

We have some exciting field trips planned that fit perfectly with our world history genre.

Micah and Luke are in an Anatomy and Physiology team-teaching class with 10 other children their age.

We are beginning a fabulous grammar/writing program.

Bible, art, music, sports, ministry ... we have so much to enjoy!

And then reality hit.

I have a 5th grader, a 4th grader, a 1st grader, a three-year-old, a one-year-old and an infant.

I have 6 preps ~ world history, anatomy and physiology, grammar/writing, math (three levels!), Bible, and Caleb's tutoring assignments for dyslexia.  And we have at least 52 books to read just for Middle Ages alone  ~ before we even get to the Renaissance and Reformation.

Each boy has a completely different learning style.  Each one needs my personal attention at some point during any given lesson.  Josiah and Isaiah have totally different needs such as diaper changes, sippy cups, discipline, being held - all DURING lessons!

Prayer time and reading time (which is 2 hours per day at least) consists of one child laying upside down on the couch, one dumping Lincoln logs all over the floor, one rolling back and forth across the floor regardless of who is in his way, someone crying, a little one throwing a toy and thwacking a brother on the head, a boy asking to go to the bathroom, get a drink or a snack, someone interrupting with a question that has absolutely nothing to do with the lesson, and ... oh!  Ellie needing to be nursed, changed, burped, held and loved.

Aaaaahhhh!

HOW did the teachers of yesteryear do it?  True, they only had 10-20 students in the classroom, but they ranged from kindergarten to eighth grade.  They had multiple learning styles, multiple levels of aptitude, behavior issues, personality differences ... and they succeeded!  Sure, they had to whap a student across the knuckles for messing around during class time once in a while or make them clean the blackboards.  Children are children and all hold sin in their hearts.  But they made it look so easy!

Perhaps I need to find some biographies of teachers who successfully ran one-room school houses and find out the true story.  Perhaps they were not as perfect as they appear.?

But for now, I am praying and searching and thinking and praying again for my mind to come up with a way to make it all work.  There are a lot of people here!  And they all want me or need me for a thousand different reasons - before school even begins!  I am seriously considering night courses for the more intense subjects so we can focus when all of the littles are in bed.  Thankfully I have a groom who is an expert teacher/professor and even teaches "Classroom Behavior and Management" and has a degree in Curriculum and Instruction.  Talk about a fabulous resource!  He has agreed to take on the geography/maps and time line portion of our world history - thank you, D!  We decided to do our Peacemaker Bible study as a family which will benefit all of us.  Dennis is also going to do some of the time period fictional book reading with the boys at night ~ knights, horses, kings, castles, crusades ... they will have a great time with this!

My days are crazy!  Nothing ever goes as planned.  Everyone is never happy at the same time (unless they are eating).  But God is good and every day we learn something fascinating and new and laugh and smile and push ourselves to complete something that did not come easily.  Basically, we experience LIFE.

And I am so thankful that I have the opportunity I do to train, disciple and mold my children each and every day.  Even on the bad days I know what an incredible privilege I have been given.

Sunday Praise.

Praise the LORD.
       Praise the LORD, O my soul.

I will praise the LORD all my life;
       I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Do not put your trust in princes,
       in mortal men, who cannot save.

When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
       on that very day their plans come to nothing.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
       whose hope is in the LORD his God,

the Maker of heaven and earth,
       the sea, and everything in them—
       the LORD, who remains faithful forever.

He upholds the cause of the oppressed
       and gives food to the hungry.
       

The LORD sets prisoners free,

the LORD gives sight to the blind,
       the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
       the LORD loves the righteous.

The LORD watches over the alien
       and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
       but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

The LORD reigns forever,
       your God, O Zion, for all generations.
       

Praise the LORD.

Psalm 146

The Hiding Place ...

I just can't say it enough - you MUST read this biography!  If you aren't ready to invest in the full length version of Corrie's life, get this Focus on the Family audio drama version.  It perfectly captures the highlights and life changing moments that shaped her incredible ministry.

If you have children 5 years old and up, they will love it (and be able to comprehend it) and will be impacted by the incredible story of her life.  It is filled with dozens of fabulous quotes, perspective and life lessons and even as adults, you will be moved to tears and challenged in your own walk as you hear the faith and trust of this one family.

Read the book.  Buy the audio CD.  Get this version.  Just do it!  You will never look at life and circumstances the same way again.  Much of my character was formed through Corrie's life, Brother Andrew and George Mueller ... three people of UNBELIEVABLE faith that have challenged and convicted and driven me since the first time I was introduced to them as a teenage girl.  I know the Lord purposed it ... filling my mind and heart with the truths of His Word as it was LIVED OUT by each of these ordinary, yet extraordinary people.

While Corrie gets the praise and accolades for her testimony, it was her father and her sister whom the Lord used to shape her faith and trust.  Corrie herself was weak, fearful and doubtful.  It was the example of two lives fully surrendered to God that she witnessed every day of her life that strengthened her faith.

These are some of my favorites ...  (I will not add my commentary to the quotes (shocking I know) because I want to let them soak into your mind and heart as the Spirit leads.)

Life lessons from her father:

When Corrie was a little girl she asked her father, "Papa, what is sex?"  They were getting on a train and he said, "Corrie, can you take my bag for me?"  She picks it up and cannot even lift it, let alone carry it so she says, "Papa, it is too heavy.  I cannot carry it."  He responded, "Yes.  And what kind of father would I be if I expected you to carry such a heavy load?  It is the same thing with knowledge, Corrie.  Some things are too heavy for us to understand and we need to wait until we can bear the Lord to receive the information."  I LOVE this response ... so true.

Corrie was a very fearful child and she asked her father, "Papa, what will I do if you die?"  He was quiet for a moment and then said, "Corrie, when we are going on the train when do I give you your ticket?"  "Right before we board."  "Yes," he replied "And when the time comes for someone you love to die, the Lord will give you what you need at that exact moment.  Not before ... when you need it, and you will bear it well."

Life lessons from her sister Betsy:

When Corrie and Betsy were in the concentration camp they found out the name of the man who turned them in.  He was a friend and a customer in their watch shop, a fellow Dutchman, who sold out their family and many other countrymen as well.  When they heard the news Corrie was angry.  Betsy listened patiently and then said, "Corrie, we need to pray for him.  He has to go to sleep every night with the knowledge of what he has done.  He needs God's love.  He needs to be forgiven.  We must pray for him."


As they sat in the middle of their second concentration camp and looked at their surroundings, Corrie was lamenting about everything wrong in life.  Betsy looked at her and said, "Corrie, this is perfect.  Just today I was reading in the Bible when God says "Give thanks in all circumstances."  "But Betsy, He did not mean these circumstances!"  "Corrie, He did not say give thanks in PLEASANT circumstances, He said give thanks in ALL circumstances.  So let's begin."  And Betsy began to thank God for everything ... for the sisters being kept together.  For the Lord providing them with a Bible.  For the fleas in their bed.  "Betsy!!  You are not thanking God for fleas?!?!?!"  "Even the fleas."
A few weeks later the women were talking about the fact that the guards rarely came into the barracks and were pondering the reason when a woman spoke up, "I know why.  It's the fleas!  They hate the fleas so they refuse to come anywhere near our room."  Corrie looked at Betsy and said, "Thank you, Lord, for the fleas and forgive me for not being thankful in all things."

When they heard gunfire coming from the mens internment camp next door, a woman got hysterical at the thought of her husband being killed.  Corrie responded, "Your husband's life is not in the hands of the SS soldiers.  His life is in God's hands.  And if he dies today it is God's will."

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Brother Andrew visited Corrie at her home in Holland he looked at her beautiful house and said, "The house is wonderful, Corrie. God has been good to you."   She lost her smile and gruffly said, "Andrew, God was good when Betsy died too."  She taught him a huge lesson that day ... we cannot just praise God and claim His goodness when things are going well and we are happy.  God is always good.  

He is ALWAYS good.

An original photograph of the ten Boom family ~ Corrie is on the right.

Public Praise.

Today I go in for my six-week follow up with my doctor.  We are going in as a family to thank her for a decade of service and kindness and attention.  The Lord has used her in the most joyous times of our life and in the darkest moments and we are so incredibly grateful for her.  The boys will present her with a gift and tucked inside is a letter from me.  I wanted to share it publicly because she is a woman who deserves praise and appreciation ~ and everyone deserves to have the spotlight on them a few times in life, right?

We have been truly blessed to have her walk beside us all these years.  Truly blessed.

Dear Dr. Baick,

I cannot believe it has been 10 years since I first walked into your office to meet you!  I knew instantly that you would be a wonderful doctor and you have proven that time and again through the years as you cared for me and each baby the Lord created inside of me.

There is no possible way I can thank you for all you have done.  Your level of concern is so utterly sincere.  You never dismiss me or tell me I am overreacting.  You listen, you respond proactively and you have always, always had my best interest at heart.

While we have rejoiced over many healthy babies born into the Eastman home, we also mourned the loss of our precious son, Matthew.  And you were there, from the moment we found out his heart had stopped beating, until I was released from the hospital to go back to my life and begin the healing process as a grieving mother for a son I could not hold.  Always gentle, understanding and compassionate ~ that is how I think of you, Dr. Baick.

And then we got to experience my first c-section together.  It was nothing like I expected and it was such a comfort to have you there explaining the process, performing the surgery and guarding my recovery.  You encouraged me to do a v-bac the next time around and supported my decision to try.  And then when things did not go according to plan, you calmly and wisely suggested a repeat c-section and, once again, walked me through it all.  (even wrestling with my uterus!) 

 

When I had to be taken back to the OR for exploratory surgery my thought was, “I want Dr. Baick!  She is the one who really cares about me – none of these other doctors even know my name!”  But when Dr. Fee came in and told me that you are good friends and work together, I was instantly at ease.  I knew I could trust her because you trust her.  With all of the complications and even the knowledge that this could now be my last baby, I trusted you.  You showed sincere concern and attention and I knew I was safe with you.

Thank you, Dr. Baick, for a decade of kindness, professionalism, compassion and friendship.  The Lord created and designed each of my children, but He blessed me with you to carry us through each pregnancy, delivery and recovery and we recognize what a gift you are to our family.  We will never forget you and we will continue to pray for you … you serve women every day and you offer them hope and comfort and you bring joy to their lives, simply because you are YOU.

Thank you, Dr. Baick, for everything.  Thank you. 

                         

With a grateful heart, Michelle Eastman

Giving back the gift we were given.

Today we dedicated our daughter, Ellie Ruth Eastman, to the Lord.

Our pastor did a wonderful job and made the moments so incredibly personal.  We had sent him the names of our boys, their meanings, and the story of Ellie's name, and he incorporated this into his charge to us as parents.  It was such a special time for us as a family, and for me personally, as a mother.  We have had every child dedicated, but this one was the most emotional for me ... for a number of reasons which I will share later.  For now, suffice it to say that we have a much deeper appreciation for what a dedication truly means.  When we dedicated our first born, Micah, we knew it was important and special as it was for each of our sons.  But after losing Matthew and all the Lord has taken us through since that time, we truly understand what it means to dedicate a child ... it is a heart attitude of total surrender.

We did not offer Ellie to the Lord today.  We did not do anything monumental or inspired.   We simply returned to Him the gift He so graciously gave to us.  Ellie does not belong to us.  She is a daughter of the King.  An heir.  She has a place in the kingdom if she will accept the gift of salvation and choose to live all her days loving and serving her Lord.

It was a privilege and a joy to stand before our family, our friends and our church body and commit to raising this little girl to know, love and serve the Lord.  And it was a blessing to hear the body commit to pray for us as parents and as a family and to walk beside us as Ellie grows day by day.

Ellie does not belong to us.  She was created in the depths of the earth by a God who loves her infinitely more than we could even fathom and has a very specific and divine purpose for her life.  We are privileged to be given the honor of raising her and enjoying her as long as the Lord allows her to walk this earth with us.  We hold her and love her and adore her, and we do so knowing that the Lord holds her tightly in His grip, He will never let go, and He will sustain us through the days, months and years ahead for as long as we are blessed to be called her mother and father.  She was given to us, to our family for such a time as this and we cannot wait to see how the Lord will change each of us through this little piece of light named Ellie.

Praise be to God for such a wonderful, beautiful and precious gift ~ a child of HIS, given to us.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You.

A great reminder.

The boys and I are listening to the biography of Corrie ten Boom.  She is one of my absolute favorite Christian women.  If you do not know her story, you MUST read it.  You will never be the same!

I never noticed before, but it was her father who instilled in her such a deep passion and conviction for God's truth and His promises.  She was not a strong believer as a girl.  She was fearful and weak.  It was her father who pressed into her mind how big God is, how faithful He is and how REAL He is.

During one of their conversations she was fretting about something and saying, "What if this ..."  "If that had happened then we would not have ..." and so on.  Her father looked at her and said, "Corrie, there are no IFS in God's kingdom."

Isn't that an awesome statement?  And it is so true!  There are never emergency meetings of the Trinity.  The Lord is not pacing about heaven wondering how things are going to turn out.  There are no IFS.  Only truth.

It reminded me of the message our pastor did on worry.  Read through this again (click on link below) and think about it ... what is God asking you to let go of?  To surrender?  To stop controlling?  What "ifs" do you need to eliminate from your life?


"Do not worry ~ you are not supposed to!"

I love that we have a God of order and control who can see the future far past what we can see.  There is such a comfort in that.  Such a peace.  Such joy.

Corrie ten Boom's father has been with the Lord for decades now, but his words are still impacting hearts today.  I know he stopped me in my tracks and forced my thoughts heavenward as I was reminded of the God I love, serve and desire.  What a precious gift.

What a privilege.

Today I received a totally unexpected e-mail.

A woman I know through my husband (they worked together) sent me a note asking me to pray for a very personal and very difficult situation she is battling through.  We have only connected at work events and through occasional e-mails and notes when I felt the Lord leading me to send her a word of encouragement.  And yet ...

For some reason today, in the midst of her pain and hurt and fear for the future, she thought of me.  She thought I would be someone she could trust.  Someone who would be faithful to pray for her.  Someone who would care.

And I am humbled.  To be trusted, to be sought out, to be asked to take her before the Throne of Grace ~ I am honored to be given such a task.  I am not sure why the Lord brought my name to her mind, but I know I am accountable and privileged to uphold her in prayer and walk beside her as the Lord's hand guides her through this trial.

What a blessing it is to be a part of the body of Christ.  We do not have to be best friends or carpool buddies.  We do not even need to know private details about each others lives.  When we are children of God the common thread is there ... the intimacy and trust have already been secured ... the understanding that God is bigger than anything we face ... these things are enough to give us the confidence to reach out and ask a sister for help.  For prayer.  For support.

She has been a dear friend and a huge support for my groom, and now she needs us.  And I am so incredibly thankful that she was willing to TELL US she needs us.  Satan would have her sitting alone in the dark with weeping eyes and a heavy heart feeling utterly despondent.  But our gracious Father rescued her from that evil snare and set her down in the presence of believers who love her, care for her and trust God's provision for her life.  God is so gracious.  So very, very gracious.

I do not know why or how the Lord plans to use us in the life of this dear woman, but we are thrilled to be called into action and know the Lord will mature us as He moves us to comfort and encourage her.

I just cannot say it enough ~ God is SO good!  He knows exactly what we need before we have any idea we need it.  He places people and circumstances in our lives to remind us how big He is.  He gives us grace and mercy to comfort those who are hurting, even when we do not totally understand their pain.  He loves more than we could even attempt to try.  And He allows us, mere humans, sinful and proud, to serve and love one another.  He allows US to love one another.  Imperfectly, sure.  But He lets us do it.

How wonderful, how incredible, how astounding it is to be children of the King, with all of the rights and privileges therein.

What a mighty God we serve!

Not exactly as planned.

Today was supposed to be opening day of The Eastman Academy.

A special breakfast was planned.

Photos were to be taken.

Smiles and laughter were to be heard ringing through the house.

But instead ...

3 boys were seen running the length of the entire neighborhood at 8 am.
1 boy is currently on his hands and knees scrubbing every speck of dirt from the carpet squares in the family room.
1 boy is cleaning the sliding glass door gutter with only a rag and some water.
1 boy is walking through every square inch of the house picking up things that do not belong and returning to their rightful place.

Why, you ask?

It all started when I asked one of the boys to volunteer to feed Ellie while I made breakfast.  All of them made an excuse for why they could not do it or complained about serving her.  So, as I am a huge fan of natural consequences, I said, "Since none of you are willing to serve your sister, I am not going to serve you.  You may eat cereal or oatmeal for breakfast and then you may go sit on a carpet square until I am ready to deal with you."  I put the much-desired pastries away, served the eggs to the littles and went about my business.

One would think this would stop them in their tracks, fall on their knees in repentance and ask forgiveness, right?  Okay, maybe my expectations are a little high.  But I did expect some sort of, "Yikes, we're sorry mom."

My sons chose to add to their sin with an extra does of selfishness, however, and began whining and complaining about the loss of a fabulous breakfast.  Really?!?!?


I will not bore you with our conversations as I am sure you have been either on the receiving, or the giving, end of a parent lecture and you know how they go.  Suffice it to say, The Eastman Academy will begin classes tomorrow and it's three students will show up with smiles, attitudes that reflect an eager readiness to work hard and an appreciation for how privileged they are to be a part of a family who cares more about their holiness than their happiness.

Today did not go as planned.  But that is the beauty of homeschooling ~ the freedom to adapt, shift gears, and even change highways if necessary.  It is also a realistic picture of life.  Proverbs says, "The heart of man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps."  Isn't this so true?  Things happen, people mess up, accidents occur.  And yet, the Father is always waiting to help us pull it together, shake the dust off from our fall and stand up tall and proud, ready to forge ahead and try again.

As a wise woman once said, "Tomorrow has no mistakes in it."  I pray the Lord will cleanse us from the memory of today and allow us to start afresh tomorrow as I call out, 

"The Eastman Academy is now in session!"

Dear Lord, let it be.

PS ~ It is amazing what time in prayer, God's Word and manual labor will do for the soul.  My guys have been angels since we broke from our time together ... offering to help, playing together, encouraging one another. Sin will still find its way in and the habits will take time to break, but for today, I am praising God that His Word broke through hardened hearts and made a difference. 

It simply has to be all about HIM.

As I have shared before, music ministers to my heart in a way that nothing else can.  I love hymns, praise songs, classics ... 

This song has been echoing in my mind for days, though I was not sure why.  Until last night.

We were with our married group, sharing the highlight and low light of the summer to reconnect with one another after a couple of months apart.  When it was our turn, Dennis said, "The baby girl over there is the obvious highlight of our summer!"  And then I added something.  With watering eyes and intense emotion, I shared that the real highlight of the birth of Ellie was the emergency surgery afterward.  It was then that God showed Himself in a real way.  There was no fear of what "might" happen or all of the possibilities of what could go wrong.  It was simply, for me, a moment of faith and trust.  My God is big.  My God is faithful.  My God never leaves me and continually walks beside me.  Even when I am unfaithful.

There was no panic in heaven the night I was wheeled into the operating room.  God had a purpose.  He knew what we could handle.  He was holding my husband, me, our sons and our 7-hour-old daughter tightly in His hands, and He knew what He was doing.

When I think back on that day and all that happened in a short 24 hour time period, I am awed.  I can so clearly see the hand of the Lord in each moment.  He was there.  He was big.  He was REAL.  And I felt His presence and His protection and His mercy in a way I have never felt before.  I will always remember the events of July 29, 2010 and I will continually share His goodness and carry His praise on my lips.  Because truly, that day it was not about me.  Or my daughter.  It was about HIM.

Heart of Worship (Michael W. Smith)

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Real moments.

I realized something this past month as I was forced to sit on our couch and watch life happen around me while I could not partake in it.

I am very good about documenting our life as the Eastman family.  I take photos of special events, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, field trips, graduations, and I journal everything.  What I have been failing to capture, however, is everyday life.  The little things/events/moments that make life real.  Like ...

playing cards with a brother ...

practicing letters ...

falling asleep on a chair ...

bath time ...

 

showing tenderness to a baby sister ... 

snack time ...

just talking ...

True, none of these moments would earn an award for excitement and dramatic themes, but they are the moments that make our home OURS.

Boys playing.  Boys fighting.  Boys laughing.  A baby girl.  Pink.  Hair bows.  Workouts with dad.  Hugs with mom.  Meals.  Snacks.  Park outings.  Books.  School.  Games.  Drawing.  Writing.  Worship.  Church.  Family.  Birthdays.  Holidays.  Quiet talks.  Family meetings.  Sports.  Singing.  Music.  Scripture.  Devotions.  Friends.  Service.  Chores.  Stewardship.  Discipline.  Restoration.  Love.

We would not trade a single moment, no matter how routine, no matter how simple.  It is the simple moments that are precious ... memorable ... soothing.  The simple moments make the exciting moments more intense and it is the simple moments that allow us to enjoy life the way God intended, in stillness, with joy and with rest.

Oh, how I love my life!

Are you moving too fast?

Our pastor is finishing a sermon series titled, "Slow down, you move too fast."

I am not able to soak in all of the wisdom while juggling an infant and burp cloths and nursing, but I was able to hold on to a few statements and thoughts that were presented last week.

We all know that we are too busy as a society.  We have exchanged peace and tranquility for faster/better/more convenient/faster/faster/more/more/more.  WHY did we do this to ourselves?  Regardless of the why, the truth is that we need to STOP.

We need to REST.

We need to look at our lives and see what really matters ... what needs our attention most.  The average person SAYS they know what their priorities should be, but very few live it out.  Why is that?  Why do we spend 15 minutes telling a friend how "busy" we are when the reality is that at least 80% of the things we list are non essentials?  Totally unnecessary.  Superfluous.

DISTRACTING.

But when someone asks us how our quiet time is, how vibrant our prayer life is or what ministry we are involved in, we respond with, "Oh, I just cannot find the time to read the Bible.  My days are so full.  But I know I need to.  We really do want to be involved."

Yet we have time to go to the gym, talk on the phone, blog, shop for clothes and house decor, meet friends at Disneyland, watch t.v., and read what the world is doing on Facebook. Can we really justify such an upside down philosophy of life?

Complacency ~~~~  Fatigue ~~~~ Distraction .... these are the three things that destroy us relationally, spiritually and mentally.

When we are running all over the world for things that do not matter for eternity, we exhaust ourselves.
When we do not have a passion for the things of God and serving others, we become complacent and self-focused.
When we let the little things like swim lessons and PTA meetings and new carpet fill our minds, we are distracted and our attention is not where it belongs.

What is the greatest commandment?  "Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, all your mind and all your strength."  And the second? "Love your neighbor as yourself."

And one of my favorite verses, "Be still and know that I am God."

If we filtered every activity through those 3 godly thoughts, I truly believe our lives would change dramatically.  We would not allow ourselves to run our children and ourselves ragged with multiple sports and classes and parties.  We would have dinner ready for our husbands each night and meet his needs.  We would be seeking ways to serve others rather than thinking about a new outfit or how much we want to lose weight.

We would hear His voice.
We would know what He is calling us to do.
We would wake up refreshed and renewed.
We would smile more.
We would laugh more.
We would enjoy the simple moments instead of rushing through them.
We would be living life abundantly ~ just as Christ promised we could.

What do you filter your days through?  How do you keep your calendar open so your family has time to rest?  How do you make your time with the Lord a priority?  A cherished time?

Do you need to be more still?
Do you recognize His voice when He calls you?  Or has it been garbled with the noise of the distractions filling your life?

Take this simple test:

If you were told you had 5 minutes to grab your most valuable possessions due to a disaster, what/who would you get?  What would be most urgent?

If those are the things you are keeping first each day, giving all of your energy and creativity and time to pursue, then your life is probably well-balanced.

If not, go before the Lord and humbly and fervently ask Him to reveal to you the things in your life that need to change.  That need to be deleted.  Ask Him to show you how to have a heart that is still.  He will be faithful.  He always is.

Remember - Mary was praised for sitting at the feet of Jesus.  Martha was scolded.

Which would you prefer?