The Lord always has a purpose.

Sunday night our church had the third of a five-part series on parenting.  I wanted to go because it is always such a wonderful night of encouragement, it is challenging, and a fun opportunity to see friends and make a connection.

But I also did not want to go.  I was tired and feeling uncomfortable (only 12 days left now!) and was trying to find a valid reason for staying home.

As I learned long ago, however, it is in those moments that satan is trying to keep me from something I need to be a part of.  He does not want me to go because he knows I will be blessed and will grow in the Lord.  Once I recognized this little trick of his (in college) I made a commitment in my heart to foil his plans and always go - no matter what the obstacles.

And every single time, the Lord has blessed that choice.

This last Sunday was no exception.  The message was fabulous, Dennis and I were both challenged in the area of discipline with our children, and it was a delight to see the smiling faces of friends and enjoy conversation and laughter over a meal after the session ended.

But it was not until the last 20 minutes that I knew why the Lord wanted me at church that night.  It was not even about me.  At all.

As I was leaving, I casually said goodbye to a sweet friend, who then grabbed my arm and said, "Can I please introduce you to someone really quick?"  I said, "Sure" and the next thing I knew, I was looking into the eyes and heart of a very young woman who had just miscarried and was already expecting and dealing with fear of losing this baby.  Tears filled her eyes and I was able to spend the next several minutes listening to her story, hugging her, encouraging her and reminding her of the promises in God's Word.  I said goodbye and hugged both women for the last time and as my friend squeezed me she whispered, "Was it rude of me to ask you to share your story like that?"  I looked her in the eye and said, "That is exactly what you were supposed to do.  I was comforted by the Lord in my pain and now it is my turn to comfort others."

I walked to the car praising God for the conviction He put in my heart all those years ago to always pull it together and go exactly where satan does not want me.  Though I shouldn't be, I am continually amazed at the purpose the Lord has waiting for me ... and I am never disappointed.

God is just so very, very good.

We are ready to meet you, Ellie!

Encouraging, and a tough challenge.

I have been wrestling with something ~ pieces of it have been a life long struggle and other pieces have come and gone, especially recently. 

The question ~ how much are you supposed to take from someone who continually rejects/hurts/offends/wounds you?  How many times are you supposed to throw yourself in front of the oncoming train before you learn to stay off the tracks and let the train pass so you can remain healthy, intact and unscathed?

How long are you supposed to listen to the rantings of someone attacking the body of Christ but who refuses to accept their own responsibility, apologize and seek forgiveness and restoration?

When do you stand up for yourself?  When do you defend your church body?  Another believer?  When do you say "ENOUGH" and have Biblical support to do so?

We are not going to be able to solve this here ... maybe not ever.  Some say you keep taking it because you never know when the Lord is going to break the other person and you may be His instrument to make it happen.  Some say, "Stay on the flipping sidewalk and stop being a willing target!!"  Who is right? 

I live, and can sometimes dwell in the guilt arena ~ I have my entire life.  As I grow and mature in the Lord I am becoming more accepting and understanding of grace, for which I am quite thankful.  What I always ask myself in these situations, however, is "Have I done EVERYTHING I can possibly do?  What if one more phone call/letter/conversation will be the turning point and we will find forgiveness and healing?  What if I am the one the Lord wants to use?  Am I being obedient to love my enemy and forgive 70 x's 7?"

I have sought the counsel of older, wiser, godly people and have received both perspectives of "letting go" and "going the full distance".  And both use Scripture to support their positions.

I wrestle and wrestle ... then I will find peace ... and then I will hear a sermon or read a passage or have someone come to me for counsel in a similar situation and the question is revived again and I am back on the mat.  Wondering if my attitude is godly.  If my motives are pure.  If my response is Biblical and loving.  Praying fervently for the Lord to reveal my own sin or blindness so I can make things right, asking Him to convict me and burden me so intensely that I cannot function until I am obedient.

I spoke with a dear friend last week about this struggle and she encouraged me with these words:  "Michelle, the very fact that you are asking yourself those questions, seeking the Lord continually in prayer to reveal YOUR sin, shows that your heart is in the right place.  Someone who is callous and stiff-necked is not praying for the Lord to change THEM.  They are praying for the Lord to fix the other person.  Be still and continue to listen to Him.  Let Him show you what He wants you to do and respond quickly and obediently and then rest in that."

Her words were like a glass of refreshing, chilled water on a hot afternoon.  How they soothed my soul!

And then my groom, who is always willing to listen, and has learned not to always try to "fix it" for me, sent me this after a night of long conversation when I revealed my frustrations, my hurts, and questioned, once again, if I was doing enough.  What does honor look like?  What does forgiveness look like?  How much are we supposed to take??

This devotion changed me from the inside out.  I cannot stop thinking about it.  I keep praying for the Lord to reveal more and more so I may truly learn, understand and live out what it means to "honor Him" and not seek to avenge or honor myself.

Good morning My Bride-

As I was reading Oswald I realized that I may have given you advice that is contrary to Matthew 5:39.  I say this as one who must give personal account for the many utterances that have been made and attitudes demonstrated towards others as well as petty affronts that take me to a place of complete irrationality.

Your outreach to ______ is “as unto the Lord” (Col.3:23-24) and the lack of response is their responsibility “as unto the Lord.”

I love you.  Dennis

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THE ACCOUNT WITH PERSECUTION (emphasis mine)

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39

These verses reveal the humiliation of being a Christian.  Naturally, if a man does not hit back, it is because he is a coward; but spiritually if a man does not hit back, it is a manifestation of the Son of God in him.  When you are insulted, you must not only not resent it, but make it an occasion to exhibit the Son of God.  You cannot imitate the disposition of Jesus; it is either there or it is not.  To the saint personal insult becomes the occasion of revealing the incredible sweetness of the Lord Jesus.

The teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is not - "Do your duty", but - "Do what is not your duty."  It is not your duty to go the second mile, to turn the other cheek, but Jesus says if we are His disciples we shall always do these things.  There will be no spirit of - "Oh, well, I cannot do any more, I have been so misrepresented and misunderstood."  Every time I insist upon my rights, I hurt the Son of God; whereas I can prevent Jesus from being hurt if I take the blow myself.  

The disciple realizes that it is his Lord's honour that is at stake in his life, not his own honour.

Never look for right in the other man, but never cease to be right yourself.  We are always looking for justice; the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it.

Oswald Chambers - "My Utmost for His Highest"
 
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Lord, purify my heart and cleanse me from within so I can see clearly any hurtful way in me. I might not enjoy the blows and I may have to endure a lifetime of pain, but I am willing to do so if it means honoring Your name and having the Spirit alive within me.  I love you.  Please make me see if I am loving others correctly.  Michelle

People really are watching ~ and they should be.

I have been thinking about this since the day of Ellie's baby shower. (Ellie's Shower)

I am usually the one asking people to share something they appreciate about the person of honor at any given event.  I firmly believe we need to praise one another and encourage one another during those special moments in life.  Everyone needs to be affirmed that they are loved!  This time, however, I was the one on the receiving end, and I will be honest ~ it felt strange!  I always enjoy watching the face of the person receiving the honors because so much is revealed in their expressions, their emotions and their responses.  I have no idea what the ladies saw reflected on my countenance, but I know what was going on in my heart.

I was overwhelmed.  I was moved by the thoughtful and generous comments my friends had to share.  (background:  they were asked to share something they appreciate about me as a woman or a mom.)  But more than anything, I was amazed.  I was amazed because some of the things they mentioned were things I had no idea anyone knew about me.  Things I thought were "normal" that everyone did, I am nothing special.  Things I thought no one ever noticed.

But they did notice.

And they should!

Scripture is filled with passages that remind us that we are called to exhibit certain traits as believers ~ qualities that set us apart from the world, so that the world can see Christ in us.  It is a high calling to be sure, but one that should get us fired up, excited and eager to be seeking growth and maturity so that when those eyes are looking at us, they do not see US, but the One who created us and desires all to come to salvation.

The Lord tells us, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden."  Matthew 5:14  We are not told to BE a light, as if we have a choice in the matter.  We ARE light.  Light cannot be hidden, it can only be extinguished.  We are always on display for the world to see and the only choice we have is how strong our light shines.

Read these verses and think about how others view you.  Do they see these things in you?  Do they see you as different?  Do you stand out in a crowd?  Do your responses to life's tragedies and trials set you apart and leave people wondering how you find the strength and joy to keep moving forward?  Do they see a countenance filled with joy?

How bright is your light?

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you."  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

"I will praise You, O Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders.  I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."  Psalm 9:1

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the Word of truth."  II Timothy 2:15

"I seek You with all my heart, do not let me stray from Your commands."  Psalm 119:10

"Great peace have they who love Your law, and nothing can make them stumble."  Psalm 119:165

"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires."  Galatians 5:24

"No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning.  No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him."  I John 3:6

"Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:2-4

"Do everything without complaining or arguing."  Philippians 2:14

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."  John 15: 5,8

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.  Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."  Luke 6:43-45

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I have spent the past few weeks thinking on this.  As touched as I was by the kind words of my friends, I was also acutely aware that I have a very high bar set before me ~ set by the Lord Himself.  Not only do I have five young men watching me, and soon a daughter, but the world is looking at me, observing me and waiting to see if I reflect the brilliance of Christ or if I extinguish His light so they cannot see Him.

My light is not always as bright as I would like it to be.  My city is not always easy to find.  But it is my heart's desire to be the one of the brightest cities in view ... it is my heart's desire to have others drawn to me so I can show them the Savior ... and it is only BECAUSE of Him that I have any light to shine at all. 

I love this verse because it challenges me to be a woman whose heart is fully committed ~ it is a choice, and not always an easy one ~ may it encourage you as well!

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him".  II Chronicles 16:19

How bright is your light?

I need to have FUN!

I had the delight of spending an evening with some young women last week and our topic of discussion was "motherhood."

I asked each of them to think about these questions beforehand so we could share them with one another during our time together.

* What is your greatest strength as a mother?
* What is your greatest weakness as a mother?
* What legacy do you want to create/leave for your children?
* What has the Lord shown you about yourself since becoming a mother?

It was interesting and enlightening to listen to them share their thoughts and I felt like I got to know each of them better ... in a deeper and more profound way.  There were moments of "aha" and nods of agreement as each woman shared, as well as laughter and a few tears.  Motherhood is a very intense and purposeful position to be given ... and it IS a gift.  Not to be taken lightly.

I shared at the end and revealed that my greatest strength as a mother is also my greatest weakness.  I run our home like the military.  People are surprised that we have five boys living in our house because it is always clean and in order - not perfect - but I am not embarassed to have someone drop by unannounced.  There is a place for everything, a system for everything and a daily routine that is expected and employed.

However, I have to PLAN fun.  I am not a fun person.  I am witty and I like to laugh and I can generally make others laugh, but my mind is always thinking in efficiency/organization/logic mode.  I have to schedule in frivolity and fun.  I have to choose NOT have a purpose for something I am doing.  It is how I am wired.  And I am okay with that!  Without people like me, nothing gets done and things fall apart.  But without fun people we would all be miserable and suicidal.  We need each other!

I have always admired "free spirited" people.  The person who walks into a room and instantly has everyone laughing or shaking their heads in wonder.  The woman who is willing to put on a ridiculous costume and become an insane character while everyone is laughing at her.  The guy who will saddle up to the karaoke machine and sing off key and dance horribly and enjoy every single moment.  You get my point.

I have spent my entire life avoiding situations that make me look stupid.  Or silly.  Or immature.  I could never be an actress.  I could never do improv.  I freeze when I think of people looking at me in a negative manner.  It took me until my senior year of college to take the mandatory speech class and man alive, did I have to work through fear to make it through that class!  Even now when I have a speaking engagement I am sick the entire day before, I am shaking when I walk to the microphone and I am secretly begging the Lord to give me calm to make it through.  Will I ever be secure being up front?  It is doubtful.

ANYWAY - my point.  I was telling my girls about my lack of fun as a mother and my admiration for people to whom it comes naturally, including my husband, and one of them jumped in (a fun one, of course!) and said, "Okay, Michelle.  I have a challenge for you.  Sometime in the next week I want you to turn on the radio and start dancing around the house with the boys.  Just do it!  And see how they respond!"

Everyone laughed.

I cringed.

Dance around the house?  I don't know HOW to dance!  I will look like an idiot!  But then I started thinking of the boys and I realized that they would start laughing.  And not just because I look like an idiot, but because they LOVE to laugh.  They love to put on wacky outfits and have Dennis and I judge them to see who was most creative.  They make up stories and draw comic strips.  They LOVE to have FUN! 

So I have been thinking ... how can I bring fun into our days together?  It is not natural but I CAN do it.  Yes, I will still probably have "schedule a fun activity this week" on my calendar but at least I am making an effort, right?  Does it matter HOW the fun happened as long as it does?  And who knows, maybe it will become such a habit and so natural that my house will be a mess, my laundry will never be done and everyone who walks by will hear uproarious laughter all day long.  I doubt it.  But it's nice to dream, isn't it?

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Send me your ideas for simple ways to bring fun into my family.  Things I can do at home, with my boys, in a moment's notice.  I am open to anything and I will share the results of the things I try.  Send me your BEST ideas!  I am ready for some FUN!  :o)

Our boys.

Our days as a family of "all boys" is quickly coming to an end.

It is hard to believe that in 29 days, all of these young men will be saying, "This is our sister, Ellie!"  Wow.

It is an absolute honor and privilege to be parents of boys.  They are fun, loud, active, enthusiastic, loud, energetic, creative, physical, loud, hilarious, creative and uniquely created by God who purposely designed boys to BE boys.  We wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you, Micah, Luke, Caleb, Josiah and Isaiah, for bringing such a wonderful dynamic to our home.  We have loved being parents of "5 boys?"  "Are these ALL yours?"  "You must be a saint!" ... you have brought us much laughter, many reasons to shake our heads in wonder and a million reasons to praise God for giving us the privilege and honor of being chosen as your parents.

We really, really do adore you.  Our men in training.  Our soldiers for Christ.

We cannot wait to see how the Lord refines and shapes each of you through the life of your sister.  He is bringing her into our family "for such a time as this" and we know none of you will ever be the same.

Thank you, boys, for being YOU every single day.

We love you, Mom and Dad

Oh, be careful little mouth what you say!

How often do we say things without thinking?

How often do we say something that seems innocent or playful only to find out it cut to the heart of the listener and hurt them?

How often have people hurt your heart by saying something careless?

We do not INTEND to be hurtful, but because we did not take that mini second to stop and think about what we are about to say or evaluate the audience to whom we are speaking, our words destroy rather than build up.

I have caught myself doing this during my pregnancy.  People ask me how I am doing, how long until Ellie arrives, etc and I catch myself saying, "In 31 days I will no longer be pregnant - yippee!"  or "I am so tired, I am ready to have her out so I can sleep better."  Something to that effect.

And then I look at the person I am speaking to and realize that she has had a miscarriage.  Or she can no longer bear children but longs to have a baby in her arms. 

What was I thinking?!?

This woman would take on all my aches, pains, insomnia and discomfort to have a living, healthy baby inside of her.  And rather than thinking of HER pain, her sorrow and her heartache, I make a flippant comment about my current state of cankle woes.  Come on, Michelle, you should know better.

And then comes the Holy Spirit to remind me that I know better.

Did you know this verse exists in Scripture?  If you didn't, it might make you consider breaking your own jaw so you can never speak again.

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."  Matthew 12:36

I know I am allowed to be uncomfortable.  I know I am allowed to be tired.  I know I am allowed to want my daughter to be with me instead of inside of me.  But these are things I can share privately with my husband or a couple of close friends who know my heart.  And as always, I can take everything before the Lord in prayer.

I need to be others-focused when I am speaking out loud and make sure I am seeking to understand who they are, where they hurt and how I can be a source of comfort to them.  Can I know everything and avoid hurting someone by accident because I was not aware of a specific heartache?  Of course not.  But once I am aware, I am accountable and I need to restore myself to that person and allow the Lord to use me for good rather than evil.

We will give an account for EVERY careless word spoken.

I, Michelle Renee Eastman, will give an accout for every careless word spoken.

Oh, how I pray the list will begin to shrink as I mature and grow in the Lord and learn to think harder before I speak.  Lord, make me like YOU!

Take off your mask ~ we want to see the REAL you!

This topic has been on my heart for a while now, but a recent conversation with a friend made it even more intense.

We all know we wear masks ~ whether purposely or by default ~ as a way to protect ourselves. We fear people seeing the real us because they may not like us anymore.  The illusion of perfection may burst.  We may have to admit we do not know everything, we are not totally put together, we are not spiritual giants, fashion experts, parenting guru's ... we are just like everyone else.

WHY do we do this?  We know there is no such thing as perfection.  We know that every woman has an insecurity ~ a fear ~ a weakness.  Yet we walk through life BELIEVING the lie.  We see the mask on each face and we accept it.  We assume that what we see is real and complete.  And we get insecure.  We create self doubt.  We feel we can never attain her level of fabulousness.  (I know, I know, that is not a real word.)But still, we hop on this neverending cycle of putting on our own mask, seeing the mask of others and believing what they show us, and worst of all, never pulling off our own or investigating what lies underneath the others.

This friend I mentioned ... she (and her husband) are seen as paragons of virtue when it comes to marriage, parenting, godliness, ministry, and anything else that life is made of.  True, some of it was self-created, as the mask has no favorites and is often most beautifully decorated by those who create their own, but they were raised up on a pedestal by those who willingly believed the mask and were not willing to look beneath to see the realness, the brokenness and the sin that exists in all of us.  They wanted them to be perfect.  They needed them to be perfect.

Fast forward several years, and here sits my friend, broken and hurting because her marriage is a mess but she feels trapped because if she takes off the mask, what will people do?  How will they respond?  They have believed the lie for so long and been too selfish to take the time to get inside and seek out her heart, her struggles, her needs.  So now she is isolated, fearful of rejection and quite honestly, too proud to stand up and shed the chains that bind and say, "This is the real me.  Please, take me as I am!"  Because what if people don't want her??

There is a twist in the story.

It is not entirely her fault.

My friend was not alone in getting to the place she is now.  She had help. 

It was us.

We are called to come alongside one another.  We are called to exhort one another and encourage one another, but we are also commanded to rebuke one another.  We have a responsibility to let each other be flawed and not place anyone on a pedestal where they cannot possibly measure up. We helped tighten her mask by letting her appear perfect because for whatever reason, we needed her to stay that way.


But here is the thing ... the ONLY way to see the true heart and mind of another is to draw her out ... take her off the pedestal and ask the questions that matter ... where her heart is, ask how her marriage is doing ~ is she honoring her spouse?, are her priorities in order, is she being obedient to God's command to take care of her family, is she spending time in the Word, how is her prayer life, is she in agreement with her husband in parenting, finances, goals ... in other words, help her take off her mask to reveal the real, vulnerable person behind it so you know how to lead her to the feet of the Lord.  To the feet of the One who created her and desires more for her than hiding and isolation and a feeling of never being enough, yet exhausted from trying to be what everyone "needs" her to be.

We do this to each other.

We put on our own mask and smile and wave and say, "I am fine, can't you see?  I have a smile on my face!  Why would you think anything could possibly be wrong?  Don't I look like I have it all together?  That is what I am trying to present after all."

We look at other masks and wish ours could be as nice.  We assume what we see is what is real so we never take the time to try to peek underneath to see if there is something else hidden there.

We do it to each other.

We have a responsibility to one another as believers to do MORE than accept what is shown to us.   Scripture says,
"Even in laughter the heart may be in pain and the end of joy may be grief."  Proverbs 14:13

We cannot rely on what we see.  What we are told.  What we read on a blog.  What we assume.  We must INVEST in one another!  Every time we are with someone we truly care about, we need to ask a purposeful question to find the true state of the heart.  You may see tears and discomfort, but I promise you this ~ you will also see relief, gratefulness, and a tenderness that may surprise you when you are able to draw from deep waters that have been begging to be stirred.  What if you are the one to set her free?  What if you are the only one who ever takes time to ask?  What if you are the one the Lord is calling to take her hand and lead her to Him so she can find healing and rest and let Him rebuild her confidence in Christ so she can live a life of freedom?  It is a privilege to be used in such a way ~ you will never, ever be the same.

Jesus said He left us an example to follow.  He exposed the hearts of men.  He set the captives free.  He drove out fear.  He healed the sick in body and the sick in spirit.  He spent every day leading them to the foot of the cross where He willingly died to give them freedom, forever.

He exposed the hearts of men.

Let us follow His example by throwing off our own masks so other women may find the confidence to do the same, and TOGETHER we can walk side by side to the Savior who will restore us, build up our confidence in Him, and send us away again, refreshed and refined, to live a life of purpose and beauty  because we are HIS.

Humility.

Are you able to say you are sorry?

Are you able to ask for forgiveness?

Did you have it modeled for you when you were growing up?  Did your parents ever say they were sorry and ask you to forgive them?

As with everything else in life, we teach our children by example.  If they see us sin, throw a fit, argue with our spouse, complain, or lose our temper and then walk away as if nothing happened, they will do the same.  Why wouldn't they?  They get their cues from adults, parents specifically, and if they see sin without consequence or repentence, they assume it is the standard.

Thankfully, I have a groom who is quite repentent ~ with everyone.  He may need a bit of prodding to recognize an error, but once he is aware he is ridiculously quick to find the person(s) he wronged and restore the relationship.  I respect that!  Especially in a man.

I do not have a problem apologizing or asking for forgiveness.  My struggle comes in the fact that I am so inwardly conscious of my every action that I fall into guilt very quickly and punish myself much more than anyone I have wronged would even think of doing.  And in so doing, I can forget that I never actually approached the person I wronged to seek restoration and healing.  It may be days later when I realize it and I feel like such a fool!  While I have been mentally lashing myself with a cat of nine tails, this person is wondering where I have been and why I have not apologized for hurting them.  This should never be!

Sadly, my family is usually on the receiving end of my ugliness.  When I am way out of line I am utterly aware of my sin and am quick to say I am sorry.  But when it comes to the little things, the temper, the tone of voice, the snapping ... I have already done 27 other things since the moment of sin and my groom or children have moved on to something else and I completely forget that I need to apologize for my ugliness.  Then, three hours later Dennis will look at me and say, "So ... are you okay?  You seem a little, well, um  .... (fill in the blank - crabby, rude, mean etc)."  And now I am accountable to obey Scripture and make things right with those I have wronged.

The truth is, whether we grew up in a house of forgiveness or never once heard a parent say "I'm sorry", we are without excuse.  Scripture is very clear on the issue of forgiving one another.

The most beautiful example ~ when God gave up His one and only Son to die on a cross so that we, who deserve nothing but shame and death, may surrender ourselves to Him, lay our sins at the foot of the cross, and find forgiveness and healing as He washes away our crimson stains and makes us as white as snow.

How great is our God!  May we always seek to follow His example.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:12,13

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven."  Luke 6:37

"Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”" Luke 17:3, 4

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”" John 13:34,35

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."  Ephesians 4:31

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  I John 1:9