Thought.

"God has an ultimate purpose in your present pain."

Family Night.

We lit our first fire of the season, played some games, listened to music, had a snack and then watched a movie together. It was a great night.

Support and encouragement from the Lord Himself.

Apparently Dennis and I are more spiritual than we thought! HA!

As the boys and I continued our study of the Old Testament this morning, we came to this passage in Numbers 11. The boys looked at me and said, "Hey! That sounds like us!"

"The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!" "

"Moses heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled."

"Tell the people: 'Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The LORD heard you when you wailed, "If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!" Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?" ' "

"Now a wind went out from the LORD and drove quail in from the sea. It brought them down all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction. All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and gathered quail. No one gathered less than 60 bushels. Then they spread them out all around the camp. But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague. Therefore the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah, because there they buried the people who had craved other food. "

Needless to say, the boys are quite grateful to have eaten peanut butter sandwiches and cereal all week knowing that the alternative (had they been with the Israelites whining about meat) would have resulted in death.

Lesson learned!

Thought: God means what He says. When Scripture commands "Do everything without arguing or complaining", "In everything give thanks", "If you love me, you will obey my commands" - He MEANS it!

The tongue.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Proverbs 18:21

A little convicting, don't you think?

We have the power to build up or crush EVERY TIME we speak.

Wow.

If anything is going to make you take a second to stop and think before you speak, it would be this verse.

Or perhaps this one:

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken." Matthew12:36

"Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 141:3

What does "I love you" really mean?

Supposedly, the words "I love you" are the most desired of any heart. A new couple falling in love remembers the day the words were spoken. A mother remembers when her child says he loves her for the first time. A daughter remembers her father whispering these words as he walks her down the isle.

But what do they MEAN?
The word "love" is tossed about so flippantly ...

"I LOVE your new haircut!"

"Where do you want to eat? Let's go to Island's - I LOVE their french fries!"

"Oh, I LOVED that movie, I want to see it again."

"Did you see what my husband gave me for my birthday? I LOVE it!"

"Is that a new outfit? I LOVE the color! It looks great on you."

Aahhhh!!!!!!!

When did the word "love" lose all meaning?

Truth be told, I find little comfort or pleasure in hearing Dennis say he loves me. I know that. I am secure in his love. I want to know WHY he loves me. Why he chose me. What do I offer him? Does he feel cherished by me? Do I meet his needs?

I would rather him kiss me on the cheek and say, "I appreciate you" as he quietly sneaks out to leave for work.

I would rather hear him say, "Our home is my favorite place to be because you are in it. Everything you do is with purpose and it shows."

Or, "The difference you make in our boys lives because you are 100% committed to raising them and educating them through God's Word is a delight to my heart."

These words and sentiments make me feel loved. He is giving specific examples of why I matter to him. Why he is glad he chose me as his wife.

I am not saying I never want to hear him tell me he loves me or that I scowl at him when he does so. But the WORDS do not offer my heart comfort or validation. He also loves burritos. How am I any different than a pile of beans in a tortilla?

I guess what I am saying is this: We need to think about what we are saying. Do we speak out of habit? Out of obligation? Because it is what everyone else says? Does your spouse/daughter/best friend/parent know WHY you love them? Do they know that if you were able to choose, you would still pick them?

And on the flip side ... Dennis knows I love him and is secure in that. What he needs to be affirmed of and totally grounded in is my respect for him. It is actually a Biblical command that "a woman respect her husband."

When I tell him, "I am so thankful that you are such a hard working man and will do whatever it takes to provide for our family," he feels respected. When I tell him how much I appreciate his wisdom and counsel when I seek his advice on something, he feels respected. When I have a meal waiting for him and an orderly house for him to come to after a very trying day, he feels respected.

We love each other. We tell each other that we love each other. And we always will.

But we have chosen to make a purposeful effort to share the WHY. So we both know how much the other values and appreciates our role in our marriage, our family, our ministry and anything else the Lord has called us to.

How about you? Do you overuse the word "love? Would someone in your life appreciate hearing the reasons you love them? The reason you pursue them?

I challenge you - think about the automatic responses you give to important people in your life and try giving a specific example of that emotion - and note the response. You will be pleasantly surprised!

(PS - all of the examples of things I like to hear from Dennis are things he tells me all the time ... we walked through this together several years ago and he has made a great effort to meet this need for me. It is wonderful!)

A tough lesson for the Eastman boys.

Our sons have a struggle that is common to all children, but because there are so many of them, the sin seems magnified to the nth degree when it is taking place.

What is it you ask?

Discontentment and ungratefulness.

Our boys have a good life. They are part of a loving, stable, God-fearing home. They are well rested and well fed each day. They are being educated with purpose and with a teacher who has their best interests at heart. They have great friends. They have a wonderful family. They belong to a church that adores them and cares for their smallest needs. They get to play outside and run and be free. They have clothes, a warm bed and toys to use for their pleasure. They are hugged and praised and encouraged every day.

And yet.

One finds out we are having chicken for dinner and he starts to cry. One is told he cannot go out front to play and he complains, "This is the worst day EVER!" One asks if we can get churros while shopping at Costco and when told no responds with, "Man, we never get to do ANYTHING fun."

REALLY?????????????????

We have battled this as parents for years. How do you instill an attitude of thankfulness, gratefulness and contentment in the heart of a child when children are 100% egocentric? Everything in their world revolves around them. Their needs. Their wants. Their desires. Their likes and dislikes. We have tried several experiments, and different punishments ... and while some work for a time, their attitudes still creep in.

And lately it has been ridiculous.

Naturally, I get the brunt of these attitudes since I am with them the most. Dennis sees it and is aware but on Saturday, after being together all day and the boys expressing sin at a high level, he was knocked over the head with it and looked at me with a "This has to stop and it has to stop NOW" expression.

So, we called a family counsel. We walked through the drama with the boys and showed them God's Word and rebuked them for their selfishness and lack of honor to the Lord who has provided everything they need and want. They were humbled. And they were embarrassed. But that is not enough. When you do not feel discipline, the consequences of your actions, you are prone to do it again. We were seeking a creative correction approach when WHAM, the Lord filled our minds with a great idea. You ready?

Here is how the three oldest Eastman boys are living their lives right now. (note: the main source of grumblings is about food - "I hate chicken, why do we have to have THIS again?, There is nothing to eat, I am tired of xyz")

~ They only get breakfast, lunch and dinner. No snacks. (We want them to have enough to eat while never being quite satisfied so they can understand the difference between hunger and "I want to eat because I can".)

~ They get the same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day. Cereal/oatmeal and peanut butter and jelly. (They complain every time there is a meal that is not their personal favorite so we borrowed from "Bread and Jam for Frances" and chose something they all like, and they will eat it until they learn to appreciate variety and creative hands that prepare them food.)

~ They are cut off from all sweets regardless of circumstances. (Last night we celebrated their grandpa's birthday and they did not get one bite of cake and ice cream.)

This food embargo lasts one week and then Dennis and I will reassess their attitudes. If they have shown a change we will add something back into their food repertoire, such as a morning snack. Then we will keep adding until they have their normal lives back.

This is a tough lesson and we have talked about it quite a bit since the judgment was made. It has been good to hear them voice their frustrations and ask questions and allow us to share with them the secret of a contented heart as Scripture describes. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." "Do everything without grumbling or complaining." "In everything give thanks."

So, there you have it. Another Eastman parenting approach. Time will tell if it works! But since the Lord moved both Dennis and I with the same idea at the same moment, we are confident it is from Him and He will work in the hearts of our boys as only He can ... to draw them to Himself with an understanding that HE provides all things and many comforts in life are a privilege and not a right.

PS - For those sensitive souls out there who are worried for our boys mental state, be encouraged! My sister left the birthday cake so the boys could have some when the embargo is lifted. :o)

Thankfulness.

Why is it that on Thanksgiving Day everyone seems to rush to have thankful thoughts and will make everyone sit around a mouth-watering, food-laden table until each person has voiced something they are thankful for ... and then dive into the food, clear the table (in about 27 minutes when it took 12 hours to prepare) and start putting up Christmas decorations?

Why does thankfulness get squished in between pumpkins and stockings?

I am sure Abe just wasn't thinking it through when he proclaimed the 4th Thursday of November as Thanksgiving Day. Had he known it would get such little air time he probably would have made it in May, when nothing else is going on.

I LOVE Thanksgiving. I love the colors, the season, the food, the excitement. I love that it does not involve greed or gifts. I love that it is about remembering how our country was founded and what people sacrificed to create an America with freedom. I love that it revolves around family and friends.

But it also makes me sad. I am sad that it gets shoved in between other holidays and does not even get a whole day to shine. Some people eat Thanksgiving dinner by a Christmas tree. Some people are planning their Black Friday shopping or obsessed with the 14 football bowl games on television.

Why can't we take the ENTIRE day and spend it in an attitude of THANKFULNESS?

My friend Kelsi suggested an outdoor sunrise Thanksgiving service where everyone praised God and thanked Him for His goodness while watching the sun rise. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea and I am going to find a way to make it happen next year, Kels!

Sure, eating the equivalent of a small child in turkey meat and all the fixin's is tradition. Watching bowl games and hearing the men hoot and holler is expected. A long walk after the meal to "walk it off" is pleasant. Friends coming over for pie and games is a delight.

But what about the thankful part???

Thankfulness gets 12 minutes in a quick loop around the table and then all is forgotten?

May it never be!!

Let's face it folks, everyone is too worried about the gravy getting cold and someone taking the drumstick to really ponder and express their true heart of thankfulness. It cannot be done at the table with any true depth or discovery. It has to be planned. It has to be purposeful. And since this is what I thrive on, I wanted to share some of the things I have done with our personal family and with our extended family/friends to make the purpose of the day more meaningful and memorable. And yes, yes, yes, I always get rolling eyes and groans when I announce, "Okay! It's time for our activity!" but I don't care. If you are with me on Thanksgiving you are going to be thankful whether you like it or not! ;o)

~ I put everyone's name on a note card and then we pass them around and each person writes something they enjoy/love/appreciate about that person. At the end, I hand each person their card for them to read. There is always a tear splashing. We might THINK people know why we love them, but they need to be reminded once in a while, and in a tangible way.

~ I ask the simple question, "What is the BEST thing the Lord has done in your life this year?" People amaze themselves with their answers and they never stop with just one thing.

~ I "drew" a tree trunk and branches on a huge piece of butcher paper and taped it to the hallway door. I had leaf cut outs and everyone wrote something/someone they were thankful for and placed the leaf on the tree. All day long - you could write whenever the thankful thought came. And everyone gets to read them - so encouraging!

~ Give everyone a few small pieces of paper and have them write something they are thankful for on each one. Place them in a bowl, draw them out one by one, read the thankful thought and everyone tries to guess who wrote it. It is fun like a game, but still with depth to it.

~ The men read a verse or passage of Scripture that the Lord has placed on their hearts about thankfulness, gratefulness etc. Without Scripture, the day is not complete! Children can also recite verses they have memorized. (grandparents love that!)

I am not quite sure what I am going to do this year - I may have everyone write a poem or a song and then perform it for the group. I might bring a "Thankfulness Box" and pull out a different activity every hour to bring our focus back to the purpose of the day. If you have any creative ideas, I am eager to hear them!

No matter how you spend your Thanksgiving Day, I challenge you - HONOR THE DAY. Have fun and eat your way to nirvana. Watch your games and take your walks. Draw your mall schemata so you can fly through the sales with the greatest of ease. Just don't forget why the day exists...

to give thanks to the Maker of heaven and earth... the Creator who formed us in the secret places of the earth ... the Sovereign God who holds the oceans in the palm of His hand and uses the earth as His footstool.

We serve a God who is holy, powerful, forgiving, loving and just. He deserves our honor. He deserves our praise. He deserves all of us.

Not just Thursday, but every day.

"I will extol the Lord at all times, His praise will always be on my lips." Psalm 34:1

A lesson from Lego's

Today I took my sons to Target to select a new Lego toy. They get an allowance each month and after tithing and saving, they are ale to use the rest however they wish. Lego's are ALWAYS at the top of the list.

We get home and they tear into the boxes and dump the trillion pieces on our bed and begin to assemble them.

I went about my business and came back in the room and found Micah in tears because his boat was not coming together. One of the pieces was too long and therefore, none of the other pieces would fit correctly. He had followed the manual and taken it apart and put it back together several times.

Then it was my turn. I assembled and disassembled that thing at least six times and finally said, "Micah, we need to return it and get a new box." He was not happy about delayed gratification and was sweeping up the trillion pieces when all of a sudden I hear "Hey! I wonder if THIS is the piece I was supposed to use?"

It was. He had been trying to force something together that was impossible. It would never have worked no matter how hard he, or other people, tried. He was following the manual but using the wrong parts.

Finally, the assembly commenced once again with a smiling 9-year-old in control and ready to roll.

And it made me think ... isn't that exactly what we do in the Christian life?

We think we know what we are doing. We are following the "manual" (Scripture) and go to church and hang out with other Christians, read Bible stories to our kids, worship Him in song and prayer and are pretty excited about being His child.

And then WHAP.

Something difficult happens. An unexpected tragedy occurs. We receive news that is heart breaking or unnerving.

And we flip out. We cry. We rant. We rave. We call our friends and share the drama and draw comfort from their responses. Except, of course, we do not like those who respond Biblically because we want to wallow in our sadness, our despair and our disappointment. We want people to coddle us and cry with us and say, "You poor thing ... life is really treating you badly." Heaven forbid a friend comforts us with the words of Christ in Scripture. Or asks if they can come pray with us and cry together before the feet of the Lord.

We want instant answers. We want to know the WHY right now! We want it fixed, understood and put back together immediately. We cannot wait. We will not wait.

And yet, the whole time, the "right piece" is in front of us.

The Lord has never, ever promised us that He will tell us the "how" of life. He has never promised that we will get to understand everything, good or bad. He simply asks us to trust. He asks us to be still. He asks us to die to self. To rest in Him. He asks us to let Him be God.

Imagine.

He wrote the manual. He created all of the pieces with Divine purpose and function. He knows what works and what doesn't. He knows our thoughts before we do and He knows what we will speak before a word is on our lips. He knows the day of our death and He promises that "the good work He began in us will be faithfully completed".

We do not have to cry or fear or rant and rave. There are going to be incredibly difficult moments in the life of every believer -some that are unimaginable. Scripture tells us we WILL be persecuted. We WILL suffer. And it also tells us that we are to count it as JOY! God never says it will be easy or comfortable or enjoyable. But He does, HE DOES, tell us how to respond. How to keep going. How to be renewed. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I know, I know. This is a lot to take away from a simple Lego piece not fitting into another. But it IS true. And as simple as it seems, it also strikes me as profound.

We would be so much more rested and content as God's children if we stopped wrestling and struggling and simply, willingly, sat at the foot of the cross remembering that He is God, and we are not.

Book #13

These are the BEST audio CD"s to introduce your children to Classical Music. Each tells the story of the composer with their most famous pieces playing in the background.

You will be amazed when your child hears a classical piece in a store or in a movie and says, "Hey! That is Beethoven!" And all because they listened to a fun and entertaining CD!

You can find all of them at amazon.com - they make great grandparent gifts! And they are the perfect length to listen to in the car. You and your husband will enjoy them too!

* A Personal testimony: We started listening to these when Micah was 5 years old. He has always had an affinity for music so he immediately took to them. One night he and his grandparents were at Downtown Disney with the boys and they were listening to one of the street musicians play the piano. There were some teenagers with them who found out he was a homeschooled kid and they started making comments about it and so his grandpa said, "Go ahead, Micah, show them what you know." The pianist would play a classical piece and look at Micah and he said, "That was Bach." Eyes got wide. He played another piece, "That was Handel." Amazed faces now looking intently at our son. The pianist kept going and Micah identified every composer. By the end, the teenagers and everyone around were praising him and thought he was some brilliant musical child. If only they knew the secret - simple listening and comprehension of a well crafted CD! It was a night we will all remember!

Totally over myself. Again.

Last night I was absolutely, completely and overwhelmingly exhausted. My body wanted to curl into a ball and sleep for about nine days. It was the kind of physical exhaustion that caused my mind to blur and my thoughts to scatter. I could hardly focus.

I had a date planned with two lovely women from my book study - women whom I am just getting to know. I was struggling with the thought of being out and about for a few hours rather than in bed. I was excited to see them but worried I may not be able to hide my fatigue and unable to give them my BEST - which they fully deserved.

As I sat in the restaurant awaiting their arrival, I asked the Lord to use me, to show me how to encourage them and to give me the perfect questions to ask them.

From the moment they walked in and we smiled, said our hellos and hugged each other, until I was pulling into my driveway, do you know that I did not think about myself or my fatigue for one second? Not one! It was as if I had just run a marathon and was full of adrenaline and getting my second wind.

A dozen thoughts flew through my mind as I remembered countless sermons and testimonies of people who were afflicted with physical or mental illnesses. They all shared this same sentiment: Whenever I am depressed or despondent about my place in life, I go serve. I find someone who needs something and I do whatever I can to meet their needs. Because once my focus is off of myself, my depression, sickness, and dark thoughts fall away too. It is THEN that my mind clears and the Lord can speak to me and show me that I am not the only one hurting. There is always someone suffering more. And I am changed.

Last night I experienced this. And it was fabulous! The Lord carried me through an entire evening. An evening spent hearing about the hearts, struggles, triumphs and joys of two women who are walking together through life and seeking to honor God with each step.

What I would have missed had I stayed focused on myself! I left them feeling encouraged and uplifted knowing that we will only grow more in friendship as the months roll by.

Thank you, Lord, for this lesson. Thank you for Your grace, Your goodness and Your faithful answer to a simple prayer. Last night was a blessing because of You.

A reminder that we are preparing for battle.

Our pastor is preaching form Revelation right now and Sunday's service was a wake up call and a huge encouragement that Dennis and I are focused on the right thing - training and preparing our sons for battle. It is their generation that will be martyred for the faith - make no mistake. And they need to be ready.

We held our sword ceremony several months ago (See post below for details) but after Sunday's sermon, we had the sword placed in position - above our front door - as a DAILY reminder of what we are doing. What we are striving for. What our purpose is as a family.

We are soldiers for Christ and we bear a huge responsibility as His warriors. It is not to be taken lightly and we have been inspired to work harder and push further than ever before.

Pray for us. Join us. Serve the Lord with everything you have to give. And then go a little farther ... and a little farther ... until you are welcomed into GLORY to live in the presence of the KING. Forever.

The Sword Ceremony

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Rebuke in real life. Mine.

Have you ever been studying something in Scripture and really challenged by it - in someone else's life - and then WHAM - it comes to visit you in YOUR life?

That is what happened to me the very day I wrote the "Rebuke" post.

I received a phone call from a dear woman at church who heads up our Compassion in Action ministry telling me that some people will be bringing us meals. I was shocked. Why does she think we need meals? We did not ask for them. What in the world?

Here is the synopsis of the exchange that followed. (these are excerpts from actual e-mails)

"Mary, I appreciate you wanting to bring us meals and we have always loved them – but I am not sure we qualify! There are so many others which much more difficult days than us."

"Hi Michelle, I am doing fine and yes you qualify just as much as anyone else does. You are our dear sister in Christ and as James says,(paraphrasing) and I hate to do that with scripture, "but" if we can't help our brothers and sisters in Christ then we are not fulfilling the first commandment of Christ to love one another."
"Mary, I think I might cry right now. This is absolutely overwhelming.
I did not realize how tired and worn down I was. In the midst of the worst part of it, you just do what needs to be done to care for your family. But now that we are on the downswing I am finding myself weary by noon and ready for bed at 8 pm.
THANK YOU could never be enough. Please share our grateful hearts with those who are helping, if there is a way.
This unexpected blessing is happening at the best time for our family.
Thank you, Michelle"

"Michelle, Just know that God loves and provides for His children. Sometimes we forget about the fact that "pride" gets in the way of letting God do what He does best and that's letting those that love Him serve Him by serving their brother's and sister's in Christ. We get those same benefits that you get in the love that we show to you by the love that the Father shows to us. It's all right there in James. Paul when he was in prison in Rome writes to the Saints in Philippians and tells them how he thanks them for caring for him. It's not just those at the top we care for but the whole body of Christ. So you enjoy the meals, get some rest and take care of that little baby. God's gift to you and Dennis and the boys."

Now, this was not a strong rebuke like God gave to Moses in the middle of the desert. But it was a rebuke. I was robbing my church family the joy of serving me and my family. God laid it upon their hearts - HE moved them to serve us. And here I was trying to turn the blessing to someone else - someone who "deserved it more".

What was I thinking?

I was thinking of SELF.

There are two kinds of pride - pride that puffs up and says "I am so great and I am so wonderful, I can do it all on my own. Everyone look at me." Then there is the other more subtle, but equally destructive pride that says, "Oh, I am okay. I know I have a lot on my plate but you have a full life with worries of your own, I do not want to burden you. I can do it on my own." The latter seems less obnoxious, but it is no less self-focused.

I find great joy in serving others and I am saddened when I find out someone close to me was in need and they did not say anything. "But we could have been praying for you and cleaning your house and watching your kids and and and ..." Look in the mirror, Michelle. People already see you as self sufficient and not "needing" them. They do not know how to serve you because it appears you are not lacking. So when something happens and there is a window of opportunity to do something for you, something they CAN do, they want to seize it. LET THEM!

I was embarrassed with my pride but I was so grateful to have been called on it. This dear woman does not even know how she affected me. But God does. He used her to draw me back into obedience through humility and I am grateful.

My husband and my boys will delight (and already have) in the delicious meals these sweet women will bring to us. Many a night they sat eating cereal or PB&J when Isaiah was at his worst because I was too worn out to serve them in that way.

Funny how we put levels on things as humans, isn't it? "Yes, we are struggling and pretty exhausted, but it is NOTHING compared to so-and-so - they are REALLY struggling. I don't know how they do it."

Jesus says, "Come to me, ALL who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." There are no qualifying statements. He did not say "Only those with really, really, REALLY bad problems" come to Me. Wherever you are - whether it is struggling with a huge final exam you need to pass to get your teaching certificate, a sick child, a dying spouse, financial despair or a disagreement with a friend - Jesus says, "Come. I will give you rest. Come."

And I did. I fell at His feet and turned my eyes off of myself and up to His face ... the only place they should ever be. And I will never be the same.