Generational sin ...

... do you believe it? (That fathers and mothers pass their sin issues on to their children and they in turn pass them on to their children, allowing satan a stronghold in the family.)

We do.

It is not hard to support and is certainly well documented in Scripture.

Let's take a gander at Genesis for the earliest example.

Abraham - the father of nations. A man whose faith was "reckoned to him as righteousness". While unbelievably obedient (remember Isaac on the altar) he also had moments of self-will - going to Egypt during the famine when God did not tell him to do so and then lied saying his wife was his sister so he would not be killed because of her beauty.

Isaac inherits the covenant of Abraham to have his descendants as numerous as the stars and to inherit the land. He also lies about his wife being his sister to avoid death and he raises two sons, one of which is a deceiver and outright thief. He favors the other which causes division in the brothers.

Jacob steals his brother's birthright for a bowl of stew and then follows the promptings of his deceitful mother, Rebekah, in stealing the blessing of his older brother Esau by lying to and deceiving Isaac.

Jacob also inherits the promise to Abraham and then he has 12 sons and favors his youngest, Joseph, which causes jealousy and envy among the other 11. They throw him in a pit and then sell him as a slave and come back to their father Jacob and lie saying Joseph has been eaten by wild animals.

Joseph finally breaks the generational sin because he is a man of strong conviction and takes the evil of man and turns it into honor before the Lord.

Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are revered ... they are the patriarchs of Biblical history. But satan knew their weakness, self preservation, and he capitalized on it. He does the same with us now.

Spend some time thinking about your sin areas ... your weaknesses .. the things you take to the Lord over and over again. Is it pride? Jealousy? Sexual impurity? Temper? Laziness? Addiction? Insecurity and fearfulness?

Now look at your parents lives ... where do you see the thread connecting?

Now look at their parents ... where does it lead you?

This is not a "blame my parents for my problems" conversation. It is reality. Whether learned or inherited, we carry parts of our parents who carry parts of their parents and so forth. We have to make a conscious effort to BREAK THE SIN areas that satan has used to hurt and/or destroy our generational line. You know what I am talking about - you see it. There is a time in every child's life when they wake up and see their parents as PEOPLE and the veil is lifted. We have likes and dislikes about what they do. We see hypocrisy and inconsistencies just as we see the wonderful things about them.

I have always prayed, "Lord, let my children have their own sin and not take on mine. I want to break the chain!"

I love reading the Bible for this very reason - though the men and women of Scripture are great examples of godliness, they are all flawed. They have to be. No one stands righteous before the God of heaven and earth without the shed blood of Jesus Christ. And true, complete holiness will not be attainable this side of heaven.

Which is why we cry out, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus!"

The truth about my life.

I cannot even count the number of times I have had women say to me, "I just don't know how you do it!" "I struggle with two children, you have 5 AND you homeschool." "How do you have time to blog?" "You run three different ministries at your church - where do you find the time?" "You are so organized, you send thank you notes, you manage prayer e-mails, you keep journals for each kid. How?"

And so the comments go.

So I want to give you a glimpse of my life - a reality check if you will - and you will see that I am nothing special. I am just like every other women who seeks to honor the Lord in her life, in her marriage and with her family. It is a daily choice. It is not always easy. It takes great effort and it does not always produce the response I was seeking. But I am called to be obedient. To exercise my spiritual gifts. Love others. Pray for others. Serve others. There is no other option. And God always, always provides a way.

First, I only have 24 hours in my day, just like everyone else. I do not get bonus minutes!

Yes, I am organized and efficient. It is how God designed me. I do not have to try to be so - I just am.

True, I have 5 children. But seriously, after 3 you may as well have 12 because it is all a matter of crowd control. I run our house like the military. Everyone has a position, a task, and a responsibility and they are to be carried out each and every day. There are no exceptions.

Yes, I homeschool a 4th grader, a 3rd grader and a Kindergartner. It is FUN! It is what God has called me to do and therefore, He equips me for the task. I have learned more as a homeschooling mom than I ever did as a student - seriously. Planning and preparing is not a chore - it is exciting! It is exciting because I am shaping and choosing what and how my children will learn and can completely cater to their strengths and help them in their weaknesses. Scripture and the Lord are a part of every single subject and it is evident when you talk to our children. God encompasses everything we do as a family - including education. Simply stated: I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING!

I journal. I send hand written notes in the mail. I call people who need a word of encouragement. I send 100 + e-mails a day. We get together with families for swimming, dinner and park days. We celebrate holidays and birthdays with family. I read Scripture. I pray. All of these things bring me JOY - pure joy.

Dennis and I lead a married's group at our church - Genesis 2 - and it is a highlight of our month. It is not work because we enjoy it and find great encouragement and strength from walking alongside other couples in the same season of life.

True, I co-lead a homeschool support group. But again, I love it! It requires a few e-mails, bi-monthly meetings, family events, field trips and graduation. All of which enhance and and make our school year sparkle!

And yes, I facilitate a book study each year at our church. One night a month I have the privilege of coming together with 30 other women to work through a book that speaks to the heart of women. We pray for each other, we challenge each other, we admonish one another and we hug one another and say, "I get it." It is a joy for me and pushes me to be better. They hold me accountable simply by existing.

I have a husband who loves me, wants to come home to me, praises me, is faithful and who would die for me. Why wouldn't I want to serve him?

In regards to time, THIS is my life motto: "I can sleep in heaven!" (and for those who know me well, I love to sleep!)

That is the life you see.

These things are what motivate me to wake up every day and try harder. I purposefully pursue them and actively engage in them. But there is another side of my life that is not as visible... call it the dark side if you will.

I am not creative - the thought of throwing a party for a bunch of children that are not my own makes me break out in hives. The stress of decorations, activities, the right food - AAH!

I do not like to cook. My family does not have a hot, balanced June Cleaver meal on the table each night. But boy, when I do plan a real meal they are thankful and excited and super appreciative.
I am lazy and undisciplined when it comes to health. I justify eating poor food or too much food. I will put off exercising day by day until it has been a month since I have done it.

I am impatient. People who stop dead in the middle of an isle so you run into them ... children whining ... foolishness ... people who do not act quickly enough (in my opinion)... people who complain but do nothing to change their situation - I get irritated and have to reign myself in.

I struggle with envy. "She has a perfect body. She has unlimited resources and does not have a financial care in the world. She is so gentle with her kids and never loses her temper. Her house always feels warm and welcome and there is always something new to enjoy." This is a sin issue I have grown leaps and bounds in but satan can still attack me and pull me into the abyss of self-pity if I do not fight against it.

I can be too task oriented and not allow for fun or laughing or even smiling. I am better at getting laundry done than sitting on the floor to play games with my kids. I dislike this part of me immensely.

What is my point?!?!?!?!

Just because you see things in others that you want to emulate - that convict you or challenge you to do better - something you admire - do not mistake those things for perfection. Do not even mistake them for reality.

I am a sinner. I make mistakes. I can be selfish. I can be petty. These are not my proudest moments but they are real. I have never pretended otherwise.

I love that the Lord uses me to encourage women, to push women and provide a model for them to strive for - but it is only BECAUSE of the Lord that any of these are possible. In my own right I have nothing to offer. It is the Lord who gives me strengths and talents and wisdom. And the same Lord gifts others with creativity and discipline and gentleness. We are all unique. We were all created in His image. And we are all called to be obedient to use the beauty He has placed in each of us. We are different for a reason and while we all have areas we can improve upon, we do not need to be exactly alike. How boring would life be!!

I value my friends who are different. I go and organize their closets and teach them to make their kids do chores. They make me sing karaoke or wear a bathing suit in public and we laugh uncontrollably. I NEED them just as they need me.

It always works out in the end. It has to. It was God's design.

And I am totally okay with that.

Book #8

This is a true treasure! Filled with many classics including: Amelia Bedelia, The Story of Ferdinand, Bedtime for Frances, Where the Wild Things Are, Stellaluna, Goodnight Moon, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, The Snowy Day, Make Way for Ducklings, Guess How Much I Love You.

The best thing about this book is that you can take it on any vacation and have over 40 books in one! No need to pack bags and bags of books, just take your Treasury!

Trust me - this is a must have for any library!

My husband.

Though this blog began as the Eastman Chronicles, it has really become "the thoughts and pondering of Michelle's heart" since I am the main author.

I wanted to highlight my husband because he has great insight, super intelligence, an amazing ability to motivate other towards greatness and is a fantastic husband, father and friend.

He had to attend a 2-day conference for charter schools Th-Fri and would therefore be missing his faculty and staff appreciation day. He was disappointed about this as they have worked so hard and sacrificed much this past year to keep NOVA open and successful. He decided to write a letter to them to be read in his absence. I am enclosing the letter because I loved it. Not only is it inspiring but it shows the heart of the man they know as "boss". He believes in hiring excellent people and letting them do their job, he believes in THEM - and it has proved to be the right way. God's hand is moving through NOVA on several levels and I firmly believe He is using my husband to affect change and make a difference in every life represented, whether student or staff.

I love you, D.

Greetings, Colleagues!

"I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid and ultimate triumph." - Theodore Roosevelt

I am extremely encouraged and grateful for the fantastic start to the 2009-2010 school year. Your constant and persistent effort in the midst of a host of changes and unprecedented growth of our student population has been nothing short of inspiring. I know that added duties, in concert with more students, brings more work and more stress and yet your attitudes remain encouraging and uplifting towards both students and parents, and this makes ALL the difference.

As we continue to pursue our theme of Attempting Hard Things I am reminded of a mariner's chart from 1525 on display in a museum in London that outlines the North American coastline and the adjacent waters. A cartographer notation near the coast of regions yet unexplored reads: "Here be giants, here be fiery scorpions, here be dragons." And much like the early explorers, you have sought the hard thing, the difficult path, the opportunity to not just strive and survive with our students but to elevate them to a place where they can THRIVE.

One of my favorite quotes comes from John Wooden who says, "It's amazing what we can do when no one cares who gets the credit." It is obvious that your care and concern for our students far outweighs any personal glory or credit. I am confident that we have the right team and believe this team is going to do great things with our students.

Thanks for all you do,
Dennis

As God intended it to be.

Last night I had the privilege of meeting two new friends ... two wonderful women who joined the book study I am facilitating at our church.

They asked to be in my small group so I thought it would be a good idea to meet and get to know each other on a personal level since the book we are going through touches on pretty personal and intense topics.

It happened that they already had a girl's night planned for the two of them and when I asked to get together they invited me to join them! I was amazed at their generosity to let this stranger come in and was so eager to see how the Lord would draw us together as women.

I arrived at the house and within about 12 minutes we were discussing things that mattered. We laughed, we shared struggles as women and wives, we asked difficult questions and we held hands and prayed together before we parted ways.

I got into my car thinking, "THIS is exactly what God intended for fellowship. It is more than just hanging out. It is purposeful. It has meaning. When true, Biblical fellowship happens, you leave feeling refreshed, challenged and content."

And that is how I felt as I drove away.

Not only was I thrilled with the trust they showed by opening their hearts and lives to me, I was also so encouraged to know that God placed each of them in this book study for a reason. He knew exactly where they were and He met them there. They both desire to honor and please Him and they each want to be pushed and held accountable to do so.

After swimming in depth for only four hours I cannot imagine what the Lord has in store for us over the next 8 months!

Thank you, Denise and Kim, for a truly encouraging and uplifting evening. It was exactly what I needed!

~ "So then, we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another." Romans 14:19

~ "Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God." Romans 15:7

~ "Through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13

~ "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32

~ "Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing." I Thes 5:11

~ "Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24

~ "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another ..." James 5:16

~ "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." I Peter 4:8

Encouragement for a mother's heart

Steven Curtis Chapman performed this song at the Women of Faith Conference. I was not expecting to be moved by his music because I have been listening to him since I was a teenager. But OH MY! He introduced the song ~ he would call his wife from the road and would hear a screaming baby in the background, his wife was weary and frustrated because nothing got done that day and just wondered if anything she did mattered. He hung up the phone and wondered how he could encourage her. And the Lord wrote this song in his heart.

I pray you will be encouraged as I was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo0Buzfd770&NR=1 (CLICK HERE to hear him sing it while you read the words)


"One Heartbeat At A Time"

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
How you're changing the world
You're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you
You are changing the world
One little heartbeat
At a time

And you're changing the world

~ Steven Curtis Chapman

A boxing match and a spiritual application.

We have 2 pairs of boxing gloves in our home. Nice red, official, youth size gloves. They have not been used very often as Dennis and I fear the outcome. Why fear, you ask? Well, there are 3 little people who were created for conquering and subduing the earth (according to Genesis) in our house and when these conquerors are given gloves, they start feeling pretty confident and invincible. They do not have the training or maturity to back it up, however.

Point in case.

Last night they decided to have a boxing match. They all chose their fighting names and rotated being the official who would end the rounds and stop the match if it got out of control.

Micah and Caleb were matched up first. It was quite funny to watch since Micah is 4 years older and outweighs Caleb by at least 20 pounds. But Caleb was determined and he gave it all he got - using his chin as his leading body part most of the time since he went in swinging with his eyes closed! Micah showed great restraint and did not abuse his size with his little brother.

Next it was Luke and Caleb in the ring. These two already battle in real life so we were curious to see how this one played out. Surprisingly, the same thing happened. Caleb fought hard and strong and Luke, in between trying out fancy spins and foot work, was fair and balanced in his punches. They had a good match and ended with a firm handshake.

Then the Wonder Twins entered the ring. Micah in one corner and Luke in the other. They had the strangest looks on their faces which perplexed both Dennis and myself but we let them go. The first few rounds were really good - they showed good form and surprising accuracy, as well as restraint.

And then it happened.

Micah got a clean shot at Luke's jaw which caused Luke to stumble backwards, smack his back on the couch and fall to the floor. That is when the adrenaline kicked in. Luke jumped up in a rage and went flying at Micah with fists of fury. (Dennis refers to this tactic as a "hay maker".)

Dennis is in the corner of the room yelling "DING DING! DING DING! Break apart, gentlemen!"

But they could not hear him through their rage.

Micah looked at Dennis and said, "Dad, nothing good is about to happen. I want to stop." But his actions did not match his words. He did NOT stop. He started defending himself against Luke's attack and at the very same moment, Luke found an opening, took a shot and SMACK. He landed one right on Micah's cheek which caused him to stumble and fall.

The next vision we had was Micah LEAPING through the air, landing on Luke (who was now laying face up on the couch) and pummeling him with every ounce of fight he had left.

It was one of those slow motion moments when you feel like you will NEVER get yourself to the place you need to be. Like the scene in a movie when the tape slows down and the person is moving a millimeter at a time yelling "NnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnOooooooooooooooooo" and then it speeds up to real time at the last second and they hit their mark, only to find out it is too late.

Okay, confession time. When I saw my 2nd born son pinned down by my firstborn while he proceeded to punch him, I lost it. I HATE bullies. I HATE feeling powerless and seeing others be abused when they cannot defend themselves. I myself go into a blind inner rage and want vengeance. (Never watch a movie or documentary about child abuse with me ~ I may frighten you!)

It did not matter that this was my son, I was mad. I started towards him to pull him off of his brother when Dennis caught the look on my face and yelled, "Michelle, I got him. Walk away. You are not in control."

Whew!

I have always wondered if I would have it in me to defend my children against a predator or an attacker and now I can say YES YES YES! Do not mess with this mom - I will rip you to shreds! If I am willing to defend one son against another, I can assure you I will fight to the death to protect my children from a stranger. And I must admit, it feels pretty good knowing that.

So - where is the spiritual part of this saga, you ask?

After we all went to our neutral corners, Dennis brought us together and did a debrief. He added humor (what a shock) so by the end everyone was laughing and the emotion was dissipated.

But while he was talking it hit me - this was a perfect example of why we are training our boys for battle. Why we are so intently focused on raising them to be soldiers for Christ.

The enemy attacks us in our weakest moments. He does not wait for us to get ready, hear the bell ding or fight fair. He will use any tactic, legal or not, to knock us out. And he DELIGHTS in it. He does not fight people his own size. He picks on the little guy. He makes fun of the fat kid. He zeroes in on the weak and takes them down when no one is around to pull him off.

And if we are not prepared. If we do not have the Word of God emblazoned on our hearts. If we are not aware that the enemy is real. If we think evil does not exist. If we fail to see the spiritual battle all around us.

We will lose.

Every time.

A real soldier that has been trained and continues to train every day so he is continually ready and prepared for the second the battle cry is heard WILL NOT BE CAUGHT OFF GUARD. He will fight with every single ounce of energy and passion and heart until he takes his last breath.

Soldiers do not run.

Soldiers do not yield.

They know what they are fighting for. They know WHO they are fighting for. And they are committed to endure until the end ~ which is only when the commander calls them home or they die on the field.

We are soldiers of Christ. It does not matter where we came from, what we look like or how long we have known the Savior. We are expected to train every day. "Pray without ceasing" "Mediate on My word day and night" "The devil prowls about seeking whom he may devour" The only way we can fight - the only way we can prepare our children for battle - is to BE READY. Put on our armor. Plant our feet firmly on the ground. Raise our sword and ready our shield.

The battle has already come. It is raging all around us. Are you prepared? Is your family prepared? Are your children learning to stand firm and fight by watching you on the field?

Micah and Luke learned the hard way that they were not ready for a boxing match. They were not prepared, did not know how to fight and were not able to hold their ground when attacked. They were defeated. And they hated it.

Dennis and I are excited to use this event to remind them that they need to be ready to fight when the enemy is wearing the gloves - and it is our job to train them. "Let the games begin!"

Book #6 and Book #7

Art appreciation is a sadly lacking piece of the education system today. There are a slew of good art books and ways to teach children how to SEE art. This one is great for that and just plain FUN! (they basically go through the museum looking for clues in the art, causing them to learn how to study it and find the story in the pieces.)

There are a few books by this author - all of them fabulous! Every child needs music appreciation and this book is a perfect way to introduce them to classical music and the "why" behind the music. Music always tells a story! These books come with a CD so the child can actually hear the music they are reading about. A must have for any library!

It really is a big deal!

Genesis 6:5-8

The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was grieved that He had made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain. So the Lord said, "I will wipe mankind whom I have created, from the face of the earth - men and animals and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air - for I am grieved that I have made them. But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord."

I think I am getting much more out of our Old Testament study than the boys! The book of Genesis is RICH with theology and the "why's" of Christianity and the evidence of God's hand in everything. It has become my favorite book of the Bible.

While we were studying Noah these verses really popped out at me. For many reasons, but mainly because we are living in a world void of absolutes and with "every man doing what is right in his own eyes" just as in the days of Noah.

Christians are so quick to call sin everything BUT sin. Instead of saying a friend is disobedient we say they are "backslidden". Homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice". Adultery is "an indiscretion". Women are not unsubmissive, they are just "strong". Abortion is a "choice". An ungrateful and selfish heart is "discontentment".

Does any of this ring a bell? Remember our friend Eve and the serpent ..."You will not die, God did not REALLY mean you could not eat it - He just doesn't want you to be as wise as He is."

LIES LIES LIES.

Satan is the "father of lies" according to Scripture. (John 8:44)

And every time we find a clever name for our sin rather than calling it what it is, we are deceived. And satan wins. Again.

The highlighted verse above makes it very clear that man's sin grieves the heart of God - our sin is His sorrow. "His heart was filled with pain."

It does not matter how we package our sin ... how many euphemisms we come up with to make it sound less harsh ... we will reap what we have sown. There is always a consequence. It may not be immediate and it may not look the way we expected it to, but God is not mocked. His commands are clear and there is no room for interpretation. Sin IS a big deal.

It breaks the heart of God.

And it should break ours.

Why do we always apologize?

How many times have you heard women apologize for crying when they are sharing a deep and sensitive part of their heart?

We flap our hands over our face is if to magically erase the tears and we apologize to everyone in the room as if we have done something wrong. Why is that?

God created us with emotion. He created it with the express intention of it being used. And sometimes words are not enough … tears convey sorrow, joy, pain, longing, repentance, gratefulness, suffering, and even peace. When we see tears rolling down the cheek of another, our own hearts are stirred with compassion. We want to know what is wrong. How we can help. We feel WITH them.

Yet somehow, when it is our turn … when the emotion rises and fills our hearts … we stop and try to get control before we move on. Are we afraid we will appear weak or out of control? And does it matter if we do?

When a young mom sits in front of me, her eyes brimming with tears that eventually fall and splat on the plate in front of her, I am not offended. I am not aghast. I see before me a woman who is REAL. A woman who is aching to know she is loved and cared for. A woman who simply needs to release the flood of emotion she has held down for far too long. And I love her more because of it.

I rarely speak. I just let her feel. I do this because I am a master of shutting off emotion. I learned how as a child in order to protect myself and I became so good at it that I was not even aware of it when it happened. I literally trained my insides to run from pain and fear and embarrassment by shutting down – like an electrical switch – swift and final. While effective, it was also destructive. I have spent the last decade of my life purposefully seeking to allow myself the privilege to feel. The funny thing is, now that I am aware of it, I can feel it coming, I identify it when it happens and I can usually correct myself rather quickly. Of course, there are times it is not appropriate to throw yourself on the floor and begin wailing, but in general, there is no wrong place either.

I love when others can be totally free to show who they are and what they are feeling. True, we can be driven by emotions and deceived because of it (see EVE and the serpent for example), especially as women. But I am not focusing on that piece of theology today. I just want to encourage you to find the freedom that comes from expressing the truths of your heart to a God who CREATED the emotions you possess. David drowned his pillow with his tears. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus. The adulteress wept at the feet of Jesus. Each had their own reason for the tears and all were recorded for us to see ~ and emulate.

The main reason I am asked to speak to groups of women is to share my testimony about losing our son Matthew. Not once have I been able to do so without crying. And I never apologize. I purposed in my heart that I would never again try to hide the pain that comes with losing a child. I would never hide the pain that comes from feelings of rejection. Pain from confessing sin to a friend. Pain from knowing I hurt another. It makes me real. It lets others see that I am not perfect. I make mistakes and I pay the price for them. I sin and I suffer the consequences. Just like they do.

It has been a long time since I waved my had over my eyes in an attempt to pull it together and appear to be “fine”. And I never will.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5

Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18