Unwavering Faith

The boys and I are currently studying the life of George Mueller - a pillar of the Christian faith.

Dennis and I absorb every biography of great men and women, especially believers, and are encouraged and inspired by them repeatedly as we apply the truths they learned in their walk with the Lord in our own lives.

And now, we are passing this on to our children. As we are committed to raising soldiers for Christ, boys who one day may have to risk their own lives to fight for the right to worship God freely, we want them to know about the men and women who have gone before ... those who risked everything to serve God and obediently trust Him even when it did not make sense. Men and women who suffered greatly simply because they would not yield to the authority of man and renounce the Lord. Men and women who looked past what the world had to offer and chose to do great things for God with what they had ... their hands, their hearts and their minds.

George Mueller was one of these men. As a boy and into young adulthood he was a liar, a thief, a drunkard, a gambler and a cheat. He mocked all things related to God and served only himself. Until one day the Lord caught a hold of his heart and George fell to his knees and surrendered his entire life to Him.

George Mueller is known as The Man of Faith because he had an incredible conviction to trust the Lord in ALL THINGS. When he was a pastor of a small church of 18 people, pew rental was how the church made it's money, but he abolished it since it was not fair for the rich to have the best seats and the poor to be shoved in the back. He knew his income would be compromised and he also knew the Lord would take care of him. ~ When he and his new bride sat down to a nicely set dinner table with not a drop of food to eat he prayed and thanked God for what they would receive. A knock came at the door and a women from the church handed them a ham and said, "I don't know why but I just feel I am supposed to give this to you." ~ George felt led by the Holy Spirit to start a program for orphans and the poor in England but not one penny had come in to support them. He asked the Lord specifically for 20 pounds so he would know for sure the Lord was behind his plan and not himself. That evening someone came to the door flustered and said, "I have no idea why but I cannot stop thinking about you and I feel I am supposed to give you this" and she slid an envelope into his hand. He opened it and there were four 5 pound notes.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of examples such as these in his biographies. And the reason we know about all of them is because HE JOURNALED his prayers, requests and God's answers. When he died they found a large book entitled "God's dealing with George Mueller" that held an account of all the things God had done to provide for Him and show His power during George's lifetime.

As often happens when we are studying God's Word, He challenges us in the very thing we are studying. What better way to mature us and show us what is in our hearts than to bring the reality of what He is calling us to do to fruition?

So, here we are - a terrible economy - people losing their homes - people being laid off - moms having to work to help pay the mortgage - cutbacks being made in all areas to preserve what is important and care for our families. And the boys and I are reading about George. About faith. About asking the Lord for something as small as a loaf of bread to eat and as large as providing a building to house 300 orphans. The boys and I discuss that God cares about the small things just as He cares about big and important things. Not only does He promise to supply our needs, but He often blesses us with our wants simply because He loves us and finds pleasure in doing so.

And then, my dear groom tells me that due to a mandatory retirement plan at work we are going to lose "X" amount of money per paycheck for our "future". I am ashamed to admit that my response was less than gracious. Rather than supporting my dear husband and trusting him with such a decision, I whined about how we need that money, we cannot afford to lose it, especially now. I only thought of the "how" and totally lost sight of the WHO.

As I am reading out loud to the boys, we see the struggle that his wife Mary had in trusting the way George did. She questioned him every time until she eventually learned how God dealt with her husband. She surrendered. She trusted. She submitted.

And so did I. I apologized to my husband for my lack of faith in Him and in the Lord's provision for us. We have never had a financial life that worked out on paper and yet, at every turn, He has provided exactly what we needed ... sometimes through fellow believers, sometimes through a job opportunity and sometimes in anonymous ways we do not even understand.

Like He did this time. Dennis received an offer to teach an extra night class at the college - unexpected extra income. He was then offered an online summer school class - unexpected extra income. And then, a gentle reminder from our God, who is so much bigger than our worries, that He cares about the fun things as well.

We made a commitment to take no vacations/trips for one year in order to save money. Though a little sad at the thought, we knew it was the wise thing to do.

And then, about an hour after the boys and I finished a chapter of the biography I received an e-mail from my aunt asking us if we would like to use her San Diego resort time share for a week in July - as a gift!

I must admit - I sat there staring at the screen dumbfounded. "Really, Lord? I asked. After my mumblings and complaining STILL You desire to bless us? I am not worthy - forgive me for not trusting You." And then I laughed! This is always how God deals with me! I KNOW how big He is - He has proven Himself time and again. But I let myself doubt for one second, like Peter on the lake with Jesus, and SPLASH, I fell into the water because of my unbelief. Foolish, foolish woman.

I want to be a woman of faith. I want to teach my boys that God is bigger than any problem they face. I want to be a family that others see as a testimony to God's goodness and provision even when it seems impossible. I want others to see HIM.

May I leave behind a large book entitled "God's dealings with Michelle Eastman" so others can see His hand in my life and the life of my family as we faithfully and purposefully trust and follow Him in obedience.

Parenting 101

I have often been accused of "seeming perfect" when the reality is I am anything BUT perfect!

So, to prove this truth I decided to share one of my parenting moments with all of you. Some of you may gasp and think "Why is she even allowed to HAVE children?" Others will laugh and say, "I am SO trying that!" Either way - enjoy the story!

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I keep a glass of water in the fridge so that it is ALWAYS cold. (I loathe warm water and I drink about 2 gallons a day)

No one is allowed to touch it – mainly because I do not want their germs and also because I want to actually have water IN my cup when I go to take a drink.

The boys have snuck it countless times, been yelled at etc. (including Dennis who I tell is a less than stellar example of not respecting someone’s wishes to which he replies "At least I fill it up!")

Saturday was the last straw. Luke used my cup and then spilled some because he could not get it back in the rack. After hearing the ice crash on the floor I came out LIVID and said, “Are you allowed to drink my water?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

“No.” he replies with that here-she-goes-again voice.

I looked in the cup and it was still full. (it holds 32 ounces)

“You want my water?” I asked “Here you go!” And I threw it on him. Covered him from head to toe with ice cold water. Went all over the floor, ice everywhere.

I put the cup down, walked away and said, “Clean it up”.

Dennis came home from surfing and Luke relayed the drama to him and Dennis came to me and said, “Um, hon? Are you okay?”

“From now on, whoever drinks from my cup gets doused.” I looked at him with that “wife” look and he said, “Are you going to do the same to me?” “If you drink from my cup I will” was my response.

So - there you go. Anyone want me to watch their kid? ;o)

PS – about an hour later all the boys were together and Luke said in a very adult manner “Hey guys, do you know what will happen if you drink Mom’s water? She will throw it on you.” The other two looked at me with wide eyes and I confirmed his theory by asking,
"And how do you know this, Luke?" He looked at them very solemnly and said, "Because she did it to me."

Lesson learned?!

A thoughtful moment ...

As I was continually thinking about all of the things the Lord deserves PRAISE and HONOR for this past week, I was struck by a thought I have not had in a while.

I am so incredibly thankful that our son Matthew has never known anything in his little life other than the JOY and presence of the Lord. I would never have chosen to lose him and would give anything to hold him in my arms and feel his little hands squeeze my neck and see his smile.

But when I truly focus on the perfection of what he has seen and known and experienced I am so thankful for such a blessing. As mothers, if we are asked to give up a child, would we not want to give them to a Holy and loving God? Would we not want them in the presence of the King every single day? Worshipping Him in song and praise. Walking the streets of heaven. Meeting the saints of old.

My Matthew has never known pain. He has never known sadness or hurt. He has spent every single moment in the unfathomable goodness and glory of heaven and for that I will forever be able to say, BLESSED be the name of the Lord!

Thank You, Lord, for keeping my son in the safety of heaven. He is not alone. He is with countless other babies who were taken home long before their mothers were ready and some whom had their own mothers reject them from the womb. How I envision them playing together, loving one another, enjoying the wonder of heaven together as they wait for Your true and everlasting glory to be revealed when You come again to reveal Yourself to man once and for all. When every knee will bow and every tongue confess that YOU ARE LORD. What a precious day of reunions that will be - when the trumpets sounds and all those who are dead in Christ will meet those who live as we are caught up together with YOU, Lord. How I long for the beauty of that day!