"Uncle!" "Uncle!"

How many of you have walked this path at some point in your life?

You enjoy growth and you want to mature in your faith. You constantly ask the Lord to refine you and shape you into the person He desires you to be. You desire to surrender, even when you do not fully comprehend what that means, or what it might cost. You sing praise songs with full conviction. You are awed by the pillars of the faith who sacrificed everything to follow Christ. You wonder if you could do the same and pray the Lord would give you the courage and strength to do so if He called you to that place. You desire wisdom and discretion so you may be above reproach in all that you say and do.

But then, when He puts you on the potter's wheel and begins to bend you to His will it gets a little uncomfortable. A little warm. You are not so sure you want to be there.

So, you cry "Uncle!"

"Lord, when I asked for all of those things, I was hoping it would be easy. I thought I could pray, read my Bible, go to church, give money to some missionaries and call it a day. I did not really understand the cost and the pain of being a true disciple of you. Is there any way you could back off a little? I feel like every time I turn around You reveal more of my ugliness and sin and it is becoming a bit burdensome. I have a lot of things I need to change. I have many many weaknesses. People irritate me. I guess what I am trying to say is, I need You to give me all of the things I ask for but not require so much from me. I am too tired and it is so hard!!!"

Doesn't this sound ridiculous?

And yet, how many times do we feel this? How often do we think these thoughts? How often do we LIVE this?

I think the Lord just smiles and says, "My grace is sufficient for you. For My power is made PERFECT in weakness". II Corinthians 12

The Lord does not need us in order to accomplish His will. He CHOOSES to use us - imperfect people who serve a perfect God.

"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest". Matthew 11

No matter how difficult life becomes, He always provides a place of solace, refreshment and rest. He does not leave us in the wilderness forever. Nor does He ask us to find our own oasis. He takes our hand and gently leads us to the cool refreshing water of life ... His Son, Jesus Christ.
"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me and for the gospel will save it." Mark 8
Have you ever tried to lift a tree trunk with your bare hands? It is not a simple nor a pleasant task. It takes effort and strength and a desire to do it. You can put it down when you are weary but no one else is there to take it up again for you. You must endure. You must push through the pain and the exhaustion and keep your eye on the goal ... eternal life and the most coveted words in the world: "Well done, good and faithful servant".
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials for the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1
The beauty of this verse is the simple word "WHEN". It does not say to consider it all joy IF you encounter trials, but WHEN you encounter trials. Christ never promised an easy life for believers. When Adam and Eve chose to sin they destroyed the perfection of man and of earth and opened a door to selfishness, arrogance, vanity and countless other vices. Living the Christian life is difficult on a good day .... surrendering self is never an easy task. But living through trials with JOY? Who does that? Is it even possible?
But the verse does not end there - there is a PURPOSE. "The testing of our faith produces perseverance". How can we learn to persevere when we have never pushed through a difficult task? When we have never lost something precious to us? When we have never had to fight for something we so passionately believed in?
And the end result of enduring the dark moments of earthly life? A MATURE faith that lacks nothing. There are few things I have personally desired in my life but this has been one of them since my youth ... to become a woman of maturity, wisdom and strength. A woman who can look at her life and see the work of God's hand and willingly surrender to the Lord's purpose and plan for her life - even when there is no specific plan to follow. And yet, there are times I fear the "how". What will the Lord have to do through me, my husband, my children to be able to fully use me for His glory? And then I realize - he equips those He calls and He never ever leaves us alone. What have I to fear?
My true hearts prayer in times of trial and struggle and frustration when I want to scream out "Uncle!" is simply this:

"I have learned the secret of begin content in any and every situation ... I can do everything through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4

Taking off the mask

I am constantly challenging women, including myself, to show the REAL them.

We see each other at church, baby showers, MOPS and we look so cute in our new outfits, make-up and nice haircuts. We are smiling and laughing and our kids are all dressed to the 9's and in good moods. We are witty, deep, understanding or whatever the emotion of the moment calls for.

And yet inside, some of us are DYING.

Our marriages are a mess, our children are disobedient and causing divisiveness in our home, we are in debt, we are fighting with family members, our husband may lose his job, we are depressed, our health is failing, we just experienced a tragic death of a friend or loved one, our spouse does not communicate with us, we are lonely. But MAN - we sure look good!

We hurt ourselves. We assume that what we see is actually truth. We think every other woman has a spotlessly clean house, perfectly obedient children, a hot balanced meal on the table at 6:00 each night, a husband who leaves rose petals at her door, unlimited wealth, the ability to eat half of a pizza without gaining a pound, a deep and profound spiritual life, the wisdom of Solomon and on and on it goes.

Have you ever taken the time to ask these women about their lives? Have you ever chosen the most put together woman in the room and drawn out her heart? If not, I challenge you to do so simply because you will be blown away by what you discover.

Those who know me well know that I am a question person. I am glad that your favorite color is green but I want to know MORE. I want to know what makes you tick. What is the best thing in your marriage right now? What are you struggling with the most as a mom? Who is investing in your life ... asking the difficult questions ... challenging you to strengthen your weak areas? Who is pushing you to fall more in love with the Lord?

I used to be very intimated by women ....from junior high through adulthood. Especially beautiful woman who appear as though life is effortless. I also used to hear the gossip we have all endured, and sadly partaken in, that surrounds these kind of women. "It must be nice to have enough money to do whatever you want to do" "I would look that good too if I had a personal trainer" "I could have 6 kids if I had a nanny and a housekeeper like she does". You get the picture.

But the Lord kept pricking my heart with the thought that I was missing out on something because I did not pursue these women. What was I so afraid of? Where was the insecurity stemming from?

And then, I became a question asker. I remember the day it happened. I was in college and very very lonely. I thought if I started asking people about themselves ~ real questions that mattered ~ they would open up to me. And, selfishly, I thought if they opened up to me, SURELY they would want to hear my heart as well and a deep, loving friendship would ensue.
Well, the first part worked ~ I was astounded at the level of intimacy and detail people were willing to share about their lives. Sometimes my questions would stump them "I have never thought about that before". Other times they would say "I have never shared that with anyone". I began to realize that people really DO want to talk about the deep places of their hearts ... they just did not have anyone taking them there.

And for the past 16 years I have continued to ask questions. Some of you are thinking, "No kidding! I have had a few flung my way!" Or, as my brother says when I announce, "I have a question", "Can I take a nap first? Get a snack perhaps?" ANYway ... in those 16 years I have never ceased to be surprised at the amount of times I was completely wrong in my assumptions about a person. I expected to hear about a glorious life that I would envy and have to repent of jealousy when the woman comes to tears as she shares that she and her husband are on the verge of separating. Or that she is so depressed from her infertility issues that she can barely cope. And there I sit thinking, "Wow. I assumed she had it all together. Lord, use me to encourage her heart."

For years when I was a high school counselor I had a little frame on my desk with the question, "What if I'm the one?" What if I am the only person who is going to offer her a smile today? What if I am the only one who is going to tell him he is valuable? What if I am the only one who will ever tell her she is beautiful because God created her exactly as she is? What if I'm the one?

When do you take off your mask? When do you let people see your hurts? Your struggles? Your weaknesses? Your sin? How can we "comfort one another the same way I comforted you" if no one ever knows we have been in the valley? We send Christmas letters and post blogs filled with cute photos of our kids and delightful vacations and birthday surprises. When do we post a photo of our child screaming her head off because she did not get her way? When do we post a blog that says "pray for us, we are spending too much money on things that are not necessary"?

We have to remove the mask so we do not hinder our sisters in Christ. If we all keep walking around with our cute outfits and smiles and positive tales of life, we will never touch the heart of the woman sitting next to us who is dying inside wondering if anyone sees her ... if anyone cares.

What if you are the one? Are you willing to reach out and see her heart? Are you willing to show her yours?